Status: Complete
The Randomest Collection of Stories about Pretty Much Anything You Can Create a Story About
Chapter WANAMAKERS AND OXYHEMOGOBLINS COMBINE!
YOUR MOM was defeated by the Olympian gods.
YOUR MOM is half-man, half-goat.
YOUR MOM was punished for killing her children.
YOUR MOM is a narcissist.
CRUD. Ryan sits next to me. He is drinking two vanilla milks (Summer: The first time I saw "vanilla milks" I thought it said vodkas, and I was like o.O WTF?). AND HE DOESN'T WANNA WALK AROUND WITH ME. (Ramones reference.) I see Nick L. He is still poisoned from the drinking fountain at Highlands. Hahaha. AN OXYHEMOGOBLIN! It just strolled into study hall. (Wait, can an oxyhemogoblin actually walk?) Next thing I know, it starts attacking the study hall. But then, Megan H. pauses her algebra for a moment to remove the tazer gun and shoot the oxyhemogoblin (Summer: Megan is so fcking perfect. If your house is on fire, she'll be like, "Here's a hose!" If your pet hamster is dying, she'll be like, "I know hamster CPR!" and save its life.). It fell to the floor. Megan claimed her victory, and went back to problem nine in her algebra textbook. Then, to everyone's horro, a heavenly wanamaker dropped in from above. It looked as if it had been beaten from birth (How is this humanly possible...exactly.) Then some short, little, chubby little Asian dude steps on it. The end.
YOUR MOM is half-man, half-goat.
YOUR MOM was punished for killing her children.
YOUR MOM is a narcissist.
CRUD. Ryan sits next to me. He is drinking two vanilla milks (Summer: The first time I saw "vanilla milks" I thought it said vodkas, and I was like o.O WTF?). AND HE DOESN'T WANNA WALK AROUND WITH ME. (Ramones reference.) I see Nick L. He is still poisoned from the drinking fountain at Highlands. Hahaha. AN OXYHEMOGOBLIN! It just strolled into study hall. (Wait, can an oxyhemogoblin actually walk?) Next thing I know, it starts attacking the study hall. But then, Megan H. pauses her algebra for a moment to remove the tazer gun and shoot the oxyhemogoblin (Summer: Megan is so fcking perfect. If your house is on fire, she'll be like, "Here's a hose!" If your pet hamster is dying, she'll be like, "I know hamster CPR!" and save its life.). It fell to the floor. Megan claimed her victory, and went back to problem nine in her algebra textbook. Then, to everyone's horro, a heavenly wanamaker dropped in from above. It looked as if it had been beaten from birth (How is this humanly possible...exactly.) Then some short, little, chubby little Asian dude steps on it. The end.
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Written by Alyssa.Well......a wanamaker is a real thing. And an oxyhemogoblin is a real thing. So go look it up. Or don't. If you don't look them up, it's even funnier cuz you don't understand more.
I'm listening to Beverly Hills by Weezer, because I'm nerdy like that. C: