The Randomest Collection of Stories about Pretty Much Anything You Can Create a Story About

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....The Loach's desk just burst into flames. Why is it that terrible things always happen in the study hall class? Like, WTF? Okay, I'm gonna change it now.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..... Mrs. Crego's desk just burst into flames! Oh shit. Can't do that. One of my bestestestest friends, Henry, is in there. HE LIKES RANCID AND SKILLET AND OTHER AWESOME BANDS!!!! He cannot die.

Attempt at murder number quatro (YES I KNOW QUATRO MEANS 4!!!!!!!)

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....Mrs. Lee's desk just burst into flames! There. That's better.

SHIT NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE'S A BLACKHAWKS HELMET IN MRS. LEE'S ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!I CAN'T JINX MY FAVORITE TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Attempt. Number. 5. (I tried to bomb Ms. Wiand's class but Emma's in there and I don't really want her to die.)

BUT FIRST -- lunch break.

*Elevator music*

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOAH JUST BURST INTO FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....Any objections? *silence.* Well, alright then. Noah, wherever he is right now, started running around screaming. THE END

We also need to create a desert cantalope, BTW...