Status: Complete
The Randomest Collection of Stories about Pretty Much Anything You Can Create a Story About
Chapter THE LEGACY OF BILLIE JOE THE UNICORN! And how he REALLY came to be
(Well, technically, he was invented when Summer, Amy and I were running berthas, but that's not exciting enough.)
Once upon a time, last Friday night, Kurt Joel the unicorn was grazing in a field of sweet peas. Kurt Joel had had a difficult life. He was born in 1032.9 BCE, where he was picked up by early hominids. They got sick of him and threw him out like a dirty potato. Then Prometheus came along, and gave him fire. So, Zues got very angry when Kurt lit the world on fire. Kurt's soul was burnt, like all the land around him. Zeus sent him back to the time of dinosaurs to think about what he had done, but he got eaten by a Tyrannosauus Rex. Bu, little did he know, the pulchritudonous Billie Cassandra the unicorn was there, too. She rescued him adn their magic together put them back to the future. Now they were in Ancient Greece! They flew up to the Acropolis and hid in the Parthenon. They crawled behind the Great Statue of Athena and "did it" with each other. A few weeks later, Billie Cassandra discovered she was pregnant. A few weeks after, while Billie was still able to fly, they flew with the state of Athena to the sewers of Detroit...bad idea. The carnivorous manatee destroyed Athena and set off to hunt Kurt and Billie. It tore Billie's wing to pieces (unicorns don't have wings, but at this early point in time, they do). The deadly beast also snapped half of Kurt's leg off. In the bloodied basin, Kurt surgially removed Billie's precious baby from her stomach as she slowly died. Kurt was inconsolable. (He decided he wouldn't even try what Orpheus did) But he realized he needed a doctor, and quick. His leg was now a big pussball, and the baby needed assistance. But before he found a doctoer, her needed to name the baby. Billie Joe will do, he thought.
Once upon a time, last Friday night, Kurt Joel the unicorn was grazing in a field of sweet peas. Kurt Joel had had a difficult life. He was born in 1032.9 BCE, where he was picked up by early hominids. They got sick of him and threw him out like a dirty potato. Then Prometheus came along, and gave him fire. So, Zues got very angry when Kurt lit the world on fire. Kurt's soul was burnt, like all the land around him. Zeus sent him back to the time of dinosaurs to think about what he had done, but he got eaten by a Tyrannosauus Rex. Bu, little did he know, the pulchritudonous Billie Cassandra the unicorn was there, too. She rescued him adn their magic together put them back to the future. Now they were in Ancient Greece! They flew up to the Acropolis and hid in the Parthenon. They crawled behind the Great Statue of Athena and "did it" with each other. A few weeks later, Billie Cassandra discovered she was pregnant. A few weeks after, while Billie was still able to fly, they flew with the state of Athena to the sewers of Detroit...bad idea. The carnivorous manatee destroyed Athena and set off to hunt Kurt and Billie. It tore Billie's wing to pieces (unicorns don't have wings, but at this early point in time, they do). The deadly beast also snapped half of Kurt's leg off. In the bloodied basin, Kurt surgially removed Billie's precious baby from her stomach as she slowly died. Kurt was inconsolable. (He decided he wouldn't even try what Orpheus did) But he realized he needed a doctor, and quick. His leg was now a big pussball, and the baby needed assistance. But before he found a doctoer, her needed to name the baby. Billie Joe will do, he thought.
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Written by Alyssa.Don't ask.