Thick As Blood

Cecelia was only distracted by the sound of rain. For a moment it reminded her of New York and the first run down apartment she had rented. The rain would always give her grief since she was in the bottom room, and the runoff would find it way through the cracks in her windows. She's have to spend time cleaning up the water before she would leave, and when she would return from a night of performing, she nearly would brake her back trying to make it across the warped oak floors.

She was happy to move to the Hotel Elysée and perform almost every night, and return to her bed that wasn't far away. It kept her form having to walk the streets. Tory had been there every night after her performance to keep her out of the hands of grabby men. She was grateful for him and everything he did for her. She first met Tory when she returned to the orphanage after living with her father for six years. many of her friends had left, and she often got teased that she was one of the few children that got "returned" for misbehavior. Obviously, the children really did not know why Cecelia had come back - but she was teased for it nonetheless. Tory stood up for her, he told her that she was a normal person, and that people shouldn’t treat her badly.

Tory was the only African American child that never had someone come for him. A lot of colored children would get turned over to the orphanage but only for a few days. There always seemed to be family members that would take the responsibility of raising them. Tory's only distant relatives apparently lived here in Atlantic City, although they didn't even know he'd been born until Tory searched for them after his eighteenth birthday. By then he was on his own, they welcomed him any time he wished, but for reason of attachment Tory chose to stay and help his friend in need.

Cecelia always saw Tory as a guided and helpful friend. Even though she suspected Tory's feelings for her, she knew she could not return them. An interracial couple would cause more than unwanted press for Cecelia's act. She sort of felt like Tory's death was unfair because he never got to love anyone other than her, whether it was like a sister, or like a lover.

She found herself reminiscing about her time with Tory because - now... here... with Richard she felt something new. It was the feelings that she could never return to Tory. She felt like without Richard in her life she'd still be sliding across a wet warped floor. She was grounded with him, and actually happy. She finally felt safe, she had reconciled her relationship with her mother, and perhaps she could be semi-normal.

Her unconventional attachment to Richard had become somewhat of a nuisance to her head. It was easy to think about him, to watch him, to talk to him. It was something she enjoyed greatly. She felt so odd clinging to him like this, almost as if she wondered if she was using him. Perhaps losing Troy had projected her to finding comfort in the next supportive man that came along. But Cecelia shook her head and told herself no. She hadn’t put her trust in the first man, but the right man.

Cecelia slipped out of his grasp and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. Her makeup was smudged, and her hair almost unbearable. After combing her hair she heard distinct rustling outside. She stepped out and found Richard, he was redressed, and he looked slightly tired.

“I’m sorry, I will leave.” He said nervously while turning away from her.

“Richard, wait. Don’t go anywhere.”

Richard stopped, and looked back at her. “I meant. To leave… I’m sure you don’t want others seeing me. with you, I meant to leave.”

She shook her head, “I wanted you to stay, why would you think I’d want you to leave?”

Richard stood silently, not really sure what to say.

“I had plans today, weren’t you coming?” she asked him, “I mean it’s perfectly understandable if you have other plans but I thought if you were free you could accompany me around town.”

Richard looked at her, wondering if she wanted a bodyguard for around town, or if she planned on an actual… date.

“I can do that.” He finally responded, he had enjoyed spending time with her, and he felt that somehow he did not want it to stop.

Cecelia winked at him and shut the door once more before yelling, ”don’t go far.”
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Cecelia spent some time fixing her hair, and makeup. In her bathroom she kept a small bottle of whiskey, one that she took a heavy swig out of before leaving the bathroom. Richard was patiently waiting. Cecelia quickly dressed in a deep blue dress with navy stockings and brown shoes. She placed a brown hat over her pinned hair and pulled on her thick coat and gloves.

The after rain weather was sure to be chilly if not downright cold. But if Cecelia had to spend another day wandering around the Ritz she was going to go crazy. Before they left she went to find the same bottle of whiskey, but it was gone.

Richard had the bottle in his hand; it was pressed against the backing of the book she had given him. He shut his book and stood up. He was taller than her, but he took a few steps towards her before saying: “It’s only the morning, mm. I wouldn’t think you’d need this.” He held out the bottle.

She took it from his and played with the peeling label. “Habit.” She said. She looked at the bottle for a minute knowing that she would need a strong drink sooner or later. But she felt slightly embarrassed from getting caught drinking so early, it was a bad habit that she liked, and couldn’t get rid of. Somehow she set down the bottle and looped her arm around Richard’s leaving the liquor behind.
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Richard felt different walking about with a woman on his arm. It seemed he’d got his usual cautious looks from passers by, but the moment their eyes trailed to Cecelia, he could see them become utterly confused. Cecelia still had her arm looped around his as the walked across the Boardwalk. This was Richard favorite part of Atlantic City. It was a unique tourist spot, and once one the most beautiful he’d seen. Richard lead Cecelia to a small fabric store that she hadn’t been able to find on her fist trip around town. She had her face stuck in a visitors map the whole way there, and once Richard nudged her and showed her they had arrived she gave him a grin. Richard enjoyed seeing her happy – she threw away the visitors map in the nearest trash bin before walking inside.

As Richard’s only interest in the store seemed to be her, she quickly told the clerk what she wanted. And while they waited Cecelia pleasantly took Richards hand. He liked the way the soft fabric of her gloves felt, and small and delicate he found her hand to be in comparison to his. Cecelia eyed a woman to her left that was giving Richard and odd look. She held onto him tightly and smiled all while they waited.

Cecelia left with several yards of silk, and after sometime about the market district, Cecelia became hungry in the afternoon – and together they stopped in a small café where she ordered a coffee and scone. Richard did not order food, and Cecelia knew why. She ate slowly, and tried to talk rather then focus on the fact that she had food, and he had none.

“Where’d you fight?” she asked.

“Mm.” he began. “France mostly.”

“Was it beautiful?” she asked.

“Mm. When we got there. Not when we left.” He said. Cecelia took a sip of her coffee, she found the taste strange, as her coffee wasn’t as Irish as she was used to it being. But she remembered the old taste and added some sugar to sweeten it.

“Atlantic City is the furthest I’ve been, grew up in New York my whole life.”

“I can tell. By your accent.” Richard said.

“I guess so. I’ve always hated it, I sound uneducated.”

“But you’re very educated.” Richard protested.

“Exactly. Runs into problems with men, if you’re beautiful and dim witted you become easy prey.”

“I don’t think your dim, in fact, your mind may scare me a bit. You always seem to think ahead.”

“Well that works if I don’t have my temper, but thanks to mother that is one of the many charming qualities I’ve adapted to.” She said.

“Your mother, you saw her the other day?” Richard asked.

“Yes, just pure coincidence we ended up right in front of each other.”

“I heard you settled your differences.”

Cecelia nodded. “Spent the whole day together, she talked… a lot. And I guess… I enjoyed the company. There are a lot of things that I wont ever forgive her for. But there’s not a lot to do in Atlantic City on your own.”

“Or you’d end up lost.” Richard joked.

Cecelia smiled at him and nodded. “Where are we anyway?”

“Close to where I live. But not the best of neighborhoods.”

“I see, putting me in danger, isn’t that the… opposite of your job?” she asked jokingly. She couldn’t help but wonder if Richard thought she had meant it. She had brought him along to talk to him more, not just as a job. “Well where to next?” Cecelia asked.

“With the rain, we’d probably want to start walking back.”

“Right, don’t want to get caught in that.” Cecelia said. “I’ll just visit the restroom, then we’ll be on our way.”

Richard nodded, “I’ll be outside.”

Cecelia headed to the back of the busy café to fix her hair and check her makeup. For some reason she thought Richard would care if her hat was crooked. She realized it was an old habit, and that Richard wouldn’t care.

She ran some warm water over her hands. They had grown cold from being outside. She began to dry her hands when she heard a familiar voice. She recognized it as a woman who had been seated near them.

“Poor thing. If my Johnny had come back from the war all scarred up like that, I don’t think I’d be able to look at him.” She said. These two women were conversing behind her, as if Cecelia wasn’t even there.

“I don’t think I’d be able to stand it either, having to take care of my husband, let alone have to look at him like that, I mean it’s not good for children.” The other woman said.

“Guess she thinks’ she deserves an award or something for staying with him. Just because she’s still with him doesn’t mean she isn’t screwing with other men.”

Cecelia realized that she was now Richard’s stay at home, unfaithful wife, who couldn’t bare to look at his face. She turned around in time to catch the eye of the taller woman, who noticed her immediately, and preceded to shut her mouth, the other woman however, kept going on.

“I mean some sort of repair job they did on him. That mask doesn’t even cover all his scars, honestly she deserved better.”

Cecelia tapped the shorter woman on the shoulder who promptly turned around to reveal a horrified look of embarrassment. Cecelia swung her fist so hard into her nose that her glove came back covered in blood. Her friend dropped to her knees to help her now injured friend, and Cecelia turned to flee.

She made it outside to find that the rain had already begun pouring; Richard looked at her, and then back at the street which was now wet with rain. She clutched his arm and asked: “Well what now?”

Richard’s attention was drawn to her hand now clutching his arm.

“You’re hurt.” He said.

Cecelia looked down at the glove dotted with blood, and yanked it away.

“It’s nothing.” She responded looking back into the café, she could see others rushing in the back to help that woman. “We need to leave, now!” Cecelia said with urgency. She ran into the rain, and Richard followed, on the other side of the street Richard placed his hand on the small of her back and lead her away from that part of town. Before she had a chance to calm down she realized they were at a small apartment building, a few blocks away, this was where Richard must live.

She was slightly appalled that Jimmy, the man who owned his own car, and beach house, would allow his ‘best friend’ to live in such an unhappy place. Several homes were boarded up from lack of tenants, there was trash in the streets and people huddled in alleyways. Cecelia felt a sense of relied when she felt Richards arm pull her tighter to him, ensuring that she stayed very close to him.

She protected her bag of silk from the rain as Richard led her inside the building. The inside had been better kept, perhaps by a tedious landlord. Cecelia tightly wrapped her fingers around his hand once they were out of the rain.

“I didn’t know where…” he started, feeling awkward now that she had seen his home. “You seemed like you wanted to get away from that place, what happened?”

Cecelia looked at him and looked away, embarrassed by what her temper had caused.

“I understand if you don’t-“ Richard started before she interrupted.

“-That man.” She said, taking a long pause, “The first night you helped me, remember?”

Richard looked around for a moment before nervously answering, “Mm. Yes.”

“Did you kill him?” she asked looking directly into his eye. With others beginning to enter the building her grabbed her blood covered hand and led her upstairs. She followed him down an unlit hallway to the end door, which he quickly opened. He gestured for her to enter first. She stepped inside; his living space seemed to reflect the part of him you could always blatantly see. A pale complexion plagued the room along with the occasional used piece of furniture. The walls were practically bare, except for a few tears in the yellow wallpaper. She realized what few possessions he actually owned, it was like he was only stopping through town – never staying, like he hadn’t planned to.

Richard locked the door, before turning back to her. He felt more embarrassed now knowing that she had seen his plain home. She was an extravagant woman – and all the monotone color lacked vibrancy, while the emptiness was probably unsettling.

While her eyes circled the room Richard stood, and waited.

“Well?” she asked, facing him again.

Richard looked away, again, not ready to tell her the truth. But he was stifled when she stood in front of him, speaking calmly.

“I don’t care if you did, Richard.” She said.

There she went again, saying his name. It only reminded him that a beautiful girl knew his name, now she was asking if he was a killer, and for her, he did not want to be. Both her gloved hands were on his face now, holding his gaze, forcing him to look at her.

“Am I to understand you would do anything to protect me?” Cecelia asked.

After a long pause and a swift head nod, “Mm. Yes.” He answered.

Cecelia raised her glove and with the other hand she touched the dark stain before sliding the glove off to reveal her now, slightly bruised hand.

“Then I guess we’re at an understanding for each other.” She said while making a fist. She took off the other glove and placed them in her coat pockets before sliding the coat itself off. Richard took her hand and tenderly tested the bruising.

“I can. get you ice.” He said while gingerly touching each knuckle.

Cecelia’s mouth spread into a wide smile before pulling at Richard tie leaving him little to struggle with. She kissed him, and while she felt the uncomfortable scrape of metal against her soft lips – she didn’t mind it. He had shown her a lot just by bringing her here, and she didn’t want to push him further.

Cecelia pulled away. For a moment, she was confused, she was actually nervous. She could feel her stomach was now fluttering, her cheeks were flushed, and her hands were shaking. ’A day to stop drinking.’ she thought. Usually her abundance of confidence came from several glasses of whiskey. But now what little she had was surely gone and for the first time in a long time it was just her, and one other person.

Richard looked down at her slightly sad that she had stopped kissing him. ’Had I done something wrong?’ His hand sat on her shoulder before softly falling back to her hands. Cecelia felt odd that she could no longer compel herself to slid off his jacket and unbutton his shirt. Richard held her shaking hand and wondered why it wasn’t him that was nervous. Granted just being in her presence made him nervous, not to mention his constant worry of what she wanted or whether she was impressed or not. But this time Richard was the one who knew what he wanted, it was her.

“Have I. Done something wrong?” he asked her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m only shy.”

Richard brought her closer to him, the way he liked to when they were in a crowded area. It was special to Cecelia how delicate he was with her.

“I will. Hm. Get you something for this bruising.” He said.

Cecelia laughed slightly, “It’s not like I’m the one with the broken nose.”

“Then what. Do you need me for?” he asked, trying to smile.

“I need you more than you know.” She said cupping his cheek again with her cold hand. “I don’t think I could trust anyone else with my life.”

“I did.” Richard said. “Kill that man.” And almost as if he were ashamed, he looked away from her. Cecelia knew that she suspected it – bootlegging and gangsters tended to actually use the weapons they carried around for safety. But knowing what had happened didn’t bother her, she only cared that he spared her from a terrible fate.

She shivered from having her wet hair and lack of sleeves. She could’ve put her coat back on, but she liked the fact that Richard rushed to retrieve her a blanket to drape around her shoulders. The heater in his apartment made no noise, so Cecelia assumed it didn’t work, or if it did, very poorly.

While Richard stood away from her, Cecelia waited to see if he had anything else to admit to. But she could now tell that he was embarrassed for telling her, it was a part of him he knew he should’ve kept hidden.

“I said I didn’t care, you know.” Referring to her earlier statement. She pressed herself against him looking for extra heat, “you did save me that night Richard. I don’t care what you did,” she paused, “or what you do.”

“I. Mm. My purpose was to get lost. After the war. And I did. You shouldn’t be with someone like me.”

“Why Richard? Because you’re not a modeled citizen?”

“I’m only half here. In ways.”

“Because you choose to be. You hide more than scars under that mask.”

Richard touched the tin to his face, never before had he met someone who knew there was more to him than he let on. Every assumed he was this shell-shocked veteran that had nothing but scars on his face. Somehow she knew he hid so much more, afraid to be who he wanted to be with a tin mask, and because of that, he felt like he had let her down in some way.

After stepping away from her, he was able to lift his arms and detach the thin metal wiring from behind his ears. Cecelia leaned against the pale wall while Richard carefully handled the piece of tin. He set it down on the table nearest him, letting Cecelia see that to himself he was only a monster.

Cecelia watched as he became timid and nervous in a matter of seconds. She could now see that the scars that peaked out from his mask lead to deeper wounds. An empty eye socket was where she was first lead; the dark crevice saddened her, as she never thought she could bear to lose her sight. At least he had one working eye, one to lead him across town, one to see her with. Then the dark scar across his cheek eventually just became a gap that became part of his mouth. She could see now why he refused to eat or drink in front of her, it would offer all kinds of awkward acts just to swallow properly.

“It’s okay. If you’re afraid.” He said.

Cecelia found herself clinging to his tie once again as she inched herself closer to Richard. She was shaking her head no before she kissed him again. She realized the nervousness she felt was something she should experience. She would’ve regretted having hazy memories of this moment with Richard. There was something so intimate about how he admitted that he wasn’t good enough for her, or how he had kept a large part of himself buried deep inside. She still felt nervous kissing him and pulling off his coat, but she realized that if she stopped, she’d only want to start again.

Richard pulled her blue dress over her head while she feverishly worked at unbuttoning his shirt. After unhinging the clasps to her fastener he was able to hold her naked body against his chest. With a swift lift he sat her on top of his desk her legs instinctively wrapped around him while he began to softly kiss her neck.

Cecelia noticed he was still gentle with her, yet everything seemed so much more heated, whether it was her clear head or Richard letting go of something, she wasn’t sure, but she found it to be the most pleasurable experience she’d had yet – and he still had his pants on.

Her hands quickly began to claw at the belt that was still tightly fastened. Richard allowed her to gently stroke him after her hand at found its own way down his trousers. Her playful teasing was nice at first, but once he realized the woman in his arms wanted him, needed him. He could see no point in keeping her waiting. He lifted her up, carrying her against his chest, he held onto his pants to keep from tripping before he set her down on the bed, once she was on her back looking up at him, he held her gaze while kicking off his shoes and letting the rest of his clothing fall to the floor.

He took a moment to look at Cecelia who was looking back at him. He didn’t see fear, or disgust, but perhaps lust. An emotion he had not had much experience with. He had never needed to please someone, or see a look in someone’s eyes that said they desired him. But just the perfect way she arched her back against him and said his name gave him chills. For a moment he felt as if he wasn’t scarred, because she looked at him like he wished others did. She looked at him smiling, happy, and with yearning.

Cecelia wasn’t afraid of the way Richard looked with out his mask, if fact she was enthralled by the way he had opened up to her. She was finally glad to kiss him properly without the uncomfortable scarp of metal. She was smart enough to know that everyone had scars. Scar tissue was healed skin, it was healed, and she found herself being glad that he wasn’t hurt worse. She was happy that he was only injured, and not incapacitated, or she would’ve never met him.

And through out Cecelia’s life she had been wearing of friends being close to her, or getting closed enough to love someone – but she strangely realized she cared a lot for Richard, and she was oddly comfortable with him touching her, seeing her naked, kissing her, and making love to her. Never before had she been able to become so close to someone like this. She realized that with Richard she didn’t need the normal amount of alcohol she consumed a day. He made her happy without it, and she could see and feel so much more when she wasn’t numb from the alcohol. She could feel the way his skin glided across hers, the way his rough hands caressed her hips, and the way he could kiss her now. She could look at him and feel passion radiation between them and she never wanted it to end.

She couldn’t help but kiss the scar on his neck and she could a low grumble from his mouth. Richard could hear her breathing quicken as she said his name over and over again. He could feel her tighten around him, and that sent him over then edge. He buried his face in the pillow next to her head while he finished after her. His fists dug into the sheets and he could feel her nails drag across his skin. They each lay unmoved for a long time. Eventually Richard rolled over to have Cecelia next to him, and she immediately curled her body against his. He stroked her arm softly while he could feel her warm breath run across his chest. He was slightly shocked that a happy memory had occurred in his own home – a place he had thought to be a sad an unwelcoming place. But now every time he would look at his plain bed he would see her on top of it.