Thick As Blood

Jimmy Darmody was very unhappy with the way things had occurred in New York. While he still had a smile on his face for Richard, but they way things were handled, weren’t good for business.

Jimmy had to remind himself of Richard’s attachment to his sister. That he must feel a great deal for her if he was willing to risk his life to save her. But of course Rothstein would point at him, and Jimmy would take the fall, unless he thought of something.

He was slightly distracted though from being tired and hung-over from the drive. He kept thinking about those burns on her feet… he had cigarette burns just like them – on his legs from one of Ma’s past boyfriends. But now he slightly understood how Cecelia was frustrated with her, it was the very same way Jimmy was frustrated with Gillian.

Richard looked up at him when Jimmy returned to the hospital that second day.

His eyes burned from the bright sunlight against the linoleum floor. He remembered the day he’d met Richard, in the confines of that veteran hospital. It looked similar to this hospital. Only Richard had been completely vacant that day they’d met, the sight Jimmy saw today was very different. A worried, sick face found it’s way across the living parts of his face.

Jimmy had done this to him, played with his feelings, his heart. Which was something that was likely already in pieces. It wasn’t easy to feel the vacancies of war, but if someone could, Jimmy was wrong to stand in the way of that.

“Rich – Look, I know this is bad.” Jimmy said.

“Bad. Mnn. I’ll say.” Richard said.

“With… Look, she should never have gone back there.” Jimmy said, trying to play off her elusive travels like it had been her bad decision.

“I was- going over the night I lost her.” Richard began. “Rothstein came mhm. and collected her, you kept me busy that night, mmhm. Purposely busy.”

Richard gave him a striking look, one of suspicion. That Jimmy felt stab the deep recesses of what heart he had left. He sat down beside Richard for some time, both in silence. When Richard refused to speak to Jimmy after an hour of additional comments, Jimmy left… frustrated.

Richard felt like there was too much going on for him to deal with his friend’s hand in losing the girl he’d fallen for. And now, several things had gone wrong. Crucial time had been lost, and worst of all, Cecelia had been put in harms way, in irrational danger – and Richard had ignored it all out of spite. Come to find out, he had been played like a pawn in a game of chess. Now problems needed to be fixed, but first, he would not leave Cecelia’s side. Unless she wanted him to, unless she didn’t need him.
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Just the way the hospital smelled was enough to make Cecelia ill all over again. She learned twice now that the almost botched procedure had nearly killed her, and succeeded in killing her unborn child. Jimmy had yet to come back, Richard had been unseen, and all in all, Cecelia was alone. Only comforted by the medications given to her, but now the time had come for her to leave, and where she was to go, she did not know.

She stole several military issued syringes filled with the drug they had given her when she first arrived. She tucked them neatly away into a hospital cap she had been given for time about the sun room. But now as she was wheeled down the hallway in an old wooden wheel chair she thought to herself, how was she going to survive? If she hadn't infuriated Rothstein enough already, now she had escaped his clutches, and left him without a head liner for two weeks, probably costing him a pretty penny. However, if he had neglected to take her to a hospital in the first place, she would've rightly bled out right there on that bed he practically kept her chained to. She was lucky she had Richard then, and she was lucky to have him now.

She inhaled sharply; seeing him sitting there, waiting for her filled her with warmness that the drugs could not. Just to belong somewhere for a moment made her feel a little less hopeless.

Richard stood up, almost nervous, so many times had she seen him like this, the way he held his hands in front of him, balled against his stomach. He protectively placed his arm around her as he led her away from the front doors and into a borrowed vehicle. She quickly realized after only moments of driving that he was taking her to his home.

***

For three days now, her and Richard had barely talked, both more afraid of what the other might have to say.

Cecelia almost couldn't bare to talk to Richard from fear of hearing him try to gather sweet words which he had only get out in clumps.

Richard was afraid of hearing the truth. Whether it was her leaving him, or whether another close friend had betrayed him.

Richard helped Cecelia bathe and dress each morning, and made sure she eat something. She ate very little after she would inject those drugs into her thigh, it thinned her appetite, and it made her weak. And the less she ate, the longer the feeling lasted. But it also distanced herself further from the problem she was only hiding from. Would Rothstein even try to get to her? Enact revenge for being the cause for the deaths of some of his men, a scene in his hotel, for making a fool of him? She didn't know. But for the time being, she didn't care.

While she was deep in worry about Rothstein, she didn't hear Richard clear his throat and address her. She felt his hand on her shoulder, which she kept tightly wrapped in one of his shirts. She looked up at him, into his one sad eye and she began to cry.

She felt warmer once she told him everything:
"I guess I sort of hoped you'd show up one day." Cecelia said, "I could understand if you had never... really thought of me that way. I was just so happy -" she choked, "so happy - about..."

"Mm. the baby." Richard said roughly.

Cecelia nodded, trying not to cry more.

"I never would've left... Rothstein threatened me, he... just knew how to hurt me, how to play me, and I fell for it." Cecelia said.

"you. mm. are a master manipulator. mm. of men. and just this one eludes you?" he asked.

"you do." she said.

"oh no. mm. I fell under your spell the first time I saw you." Richard said in that voice she loved so much.

This time she smiled.

“Richard…”

“I shouldn’t mmh. Have let you go back to New York. I should’ve followed mm. you. Brought you back with me. But mm. I let Jimmy Mm-“ there it began, blaming Jimmy. “I let him convince me that’s where you wanted to be. Mm. That you were happy. You were performing, you were mm… happy. So it seemed.”

“No… Richard. I was happy here.” Cecelia said. Her hands were shaking from the come down of the pain killers, Richard noticed, and took her hands in his, holding her trembling fingers.

They both sat in silence for a while. Waiting for the sun to set, or her tears to stop they did not know but for some reason silence just felt required.