The Great Big Book of Everything
Ekfr- I've got a bulletproof heart
Well yesterday I broke down in tears in math....again. It's getting really annoying. I keep saying I'm fine and that i don't need a stuipid counciler but the time has finally come. I ran out of math in tears. and sobbed in the bathroom stalls for a while.
Why?
Because I'm a montser.
that's how I see myself, an ugly, fat, freaked-up, emo monster. true, I get called a skinny b***h
because I am, really. i just can't see it. I hate my face too. I tried many times to cut, but I'm no cutter, i'm just emo. Then of course, as you may have read in my previous chapter
Ekfr-You can run away with me, about that boy. I got upset over him too, which made it worse.
when i came out of the toilets and back to lessons i had that 'special talk' with my teacher (who is very nice and unerstanding) and called the school counciler person to say I was going down there. she pretty much made me see her. Her name is Emma and she said i could see her properly on monday, and now i dread the day. In 6th period i went to see my form tutor, who i talked with for awhile. *has sudden flashback which is important to this chapter*
-flashback-
me: okay I'll just ask!
friend:if it makes you feel better you must, now GO! *shoves*
Me: I AM!! ohhh hi edwin *goes tense* okay i'm just gonna say it: will you go out with me?
ed: uhhh
me:it's okay to say no
ed: I'm really sorry, but your not my type...
me: *fakesmile* okay, thanks
ed; we're still good friends?
me: yeah
ed: *thumbs up*
me: *thumbs up*
-end of flashback-
So yeah, i talk to my for tutor
formtutor: I see your depressed again, is it still him?
me:yeah its not much....*ed is standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!* him but other stuff too. (awkward)
formtutor: see me period 6
me;okay, *EXITS DAMN QUICKLY*
OH HORRAY HE SAID NO :( oh well, nothings ever built to last, i'll get over him. At least thats a wieght off my shoulders, now i can relax abit more and look for someone else.
I guess your wondering : why do i want a boyfriend so bad?
well, i suppose it's because i've never believed anyone has loved me properly before, and your family kinda have to, so i have alot of love to give, but no one to give it to. I see all the lucky girls with their loving boyfriends, holding them, protecting them, showing them that someone cares for them. Oh how I want that sooo bad.
Why?
Because I'm a montser.
that's how I see myself, an ugly, fat, freaked-up, emo monster. true, I get called a skinny b***h
because I am, really. i just can't see it. I hate my face too. I tried many times to cut, but I'm no cutter, i'm just emo. Then of course, as you may have read in my previous chapter
Ekfr-You can run away with me, about that boy. I got upset over him too, which made it worse.
when i came out of the toilets and back to lessons i had that 'special talk' with my teacher (who is very nice and unerstanding) and called the school counciler person to say I was going down there. she pretty much made me see her. Her name is Emma and she said i could see her properly on monday, and now i dread the day. In 6th period i went to see my form tutor, who i talked with for awhile. *has sudden flashback which is important to this chapter*
-flashback-
me: okay I'll just ask!
friend:if it makes you feel better you must, now GO! *shoves*
Me: I AM!! ohhh hi edwin *goes tense* okay i'm just gonna say it: will you go out with me?
ed: uhhh
me:it's okay to say no
ed: I'm really sorry, but your not my type...
me: *fakesmile* okay, thanks
ed; we're still good friends?
me: yeah
ed: *thumbs up*
me: *thumbs up*
-end of flashback-
So yeah, i talk to my for tutor
formtutor: I see your depressed again, is it still him?
me:yeah its not much....*ed is standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!* him but other stuff too. (awkward)
formtutor: see me period 6
me;okay, *EXITS DAMN QUICKLY*
OH HORRAY HE SAID NO :( oh well, nothings ever built to last, i'll get over him. At least thats a wieght off my shoulders, now i can relax abit more and look for someone else.
I guess your wondering : why do i want a boyfriend so bad?
well, i suppose it's because i've never believed anyone has loved me properly before, and your family kinda have to, so i have alot of love to give, but no one to give it to. I see all the lucky girls with their loving boyfriends, holding them, protecting them, showing them that someone cares for them. Oh how I want that sooo bad.