Misery.

"Ronnie, you just got out of jail an hour ago. If you don't calm the fuck down, you're gonna do something to get yourself sent back."

I screamed out in frustration, continuing to pace around Ryan's living room. "She hasn't visited me in a fucking year, man, and now there's some rich fuck living in my house? What the fuck?! Where the fuck did she go?!"

My new band members didn't dare move. I crumbled to the floor, my hands tugging roughly at my long hair as a single hot tear slid down my cheek.

"Did she just drop off the fucking planet?" My voice cracked, and I felt someone pat my back in an attempt to soothe me. "She was eight months pregnant... What happened?"

"It'll be okay, m-"

I slammed my fists onto the carpeted floor beside me. "No, it fucking won't. My girlfriend and my child are gone. Missing. They could be dead and I wouldn't know a damn thing."

"They aren't dead." Jacky mumbled, shoving his hands deep into the front pockets of his jeans.

"How the fuck would you know?" I muttered bitterly, burying my head into my hands as more tears spilled from my eyes.

"She..." He paused, causing me to cock my head towards him. "She's in London. She moved there when she was thirty-six weeks pregnant, against her doctor's wishes. He damn near begged her not to go. He said flying that far along could be harmful to the baby... But, uh.... She was thinking about adoption."

I jumped to my feet, grabbing my wallet and Ryan's car keys before running out the front door.



It was much colder in London than it had been in Nevada. I tugged my black pea-coat tighter around me and pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head.

The sky was dark and gloomy, and I sighed lowly.

I had gone through drastic measures to find this girl. The girl who used to come to every single one of my shows. The girl who literally stood beside me when I was sentenced. The girl who, at one point in time, carried my child inside of her. But now I could only imagine her as the girl who ran away from me when I had needed her most.

I'd been in the U.K. for about a week or so now. My father and band mates, and even the record company, had been calling my phone non-stop. But everything went unanswered. The only person I even associated with was the private detective I had hired.

She came to this building every day at the same time, he had told me. And here I stood, my back pressed up against the brick wall next to the entrance.

She nearly walked right past me, but I grabbed her arm, obviously catching her attention. "Jay."

She jumped, her eyes widening. "W-what...? What are you doing here?"

My gaze darkened as I continued to grip her arm and grit my teeth to keep from shouting. "Where did you go? Why did you leave me, Jacey? Like seriously, what the fuck?"

"I..." She was holding back tears. "Ronnie, I'm sorry-"

"Where's the baby? How fucking dare you just take my child-"

"I lost it."

"What?" I snapped, dropping her arm.

"It was a stillborn." She stated quietly, letting her eyes drop to the floor. "It was a girl."

"I hate you." I mumbled, digging threw my pocket.

Her mouth parted and her face showed a mixture of hurt and surprise. "W-what was that?"

"I fucking hate you!" I boomed, causing a few people to look in our general direction. I tossed the crumpled picture that had been shoved into my back pocket at her. "You're fucking heartless. You leave me. You don't tell me that my daughter didn't even live for probably more than a few fucking minutes. I. Hate. You. FUCK YOU."

I stormed off, hot tears streaming down my face. My life as I knew it was crumbling all around me.



She looked at the picture and sighed, holding back all emotion. In the snapshot, she smirked as she planted a kiss on Ronnie's cheek. Her smiled a bright toothy grin, his arm draped over her shoulder, and dark sunglasses covered his eyes.

She shoved it to the bottom of her purse before entering the daycare center to pick up her two year old daughter.

Dark brown pig-tails, wide chocolate eyes, long eyelashes, and outstretched arms. "Mummy!"

She sighed contently as she crouched onto her knees and pulled the little girl into a tight hug, silently praying and thanking God that what she had told Ronnie a few moments ago was a complete and utter lie.