Twisted Symphony

Adam isn’t acting like himself. It’s been less than twenty four hours and I can already tell that he’s lost his spark. He’s sitting across from me at some posh looking Asian-fusion restaurant. He hasn’t touched his lo-mein and he loves lo-mein, only taking half a sip of his soda.

“What’s wrong with you? I followed all the rules! I didn’t call you before noon unless I was dying or pregnant, just like you said.” He tosses me a weak smile.

“Come on!” I push his plate towards him. “It’s barley been a whole day, what could you possibly have done?” I tease.

“I need to tell you something.” He looks down at his glass.

“What is it?” His solemn look makes my chest drop into my stomach.

“I can’t tell you.” He looks at me and then back down at his plate.

“What?” I cock my head to the side.

“It’s better if I say… there’s something you need to know.”

“Then you should tell me.”

“I can’t.” He says sternly.

“If you know something, then you should say something. Wouldn’t anything sound better coming from you? Who else would I want to hear it from?” I lean towards him.

“Listen, I’m not the one you need to talk to right now. You know how hard this is for me?”

“Who? Why won’t you just tell me?!” I hiss.

“You need to talk to Megan.” He looks back at his glass. “Soon.”

“What is it? What’s going on?” I mumble nervously.

“Just talk to her.”

“Fine. I will. Right now.” I flip open my phone. Reid’s face goes pale.

“Meg. Do you have something to tell me?” I don’t give her the chance to even say hello.

“No.” She giggle. “What’s up with you?”

“What do you need to tell me?” My voice doesn’t shake or break.
“Nothing.” Her voice begins to take a new tone.

“Meg. What do you need to tell me.”

“How do you know?” She squeaks.

“Adam told me you have something to say.” I twist my fingers into the ends of my hair.

“I can’t believe he told you! I told him that in confidence!” She cries.

“He didn’t tell me anything!” I snap. “Besides, he’s my best friend! Not yours. Now what do you have to say? Tell me now or I swear-”

“I’m pregnant.” She blurts.

I feel the lump swell in my throat. My stomach turns to knots because this has everything to do with the whole family. I don’t even care for the details. All I know is she has a boyfriend and they have sex. She’s ruined my life because mom cannot support us and a baby. Sure his family will be involved, but they are barely together. They always fight. This is the end for me. My one shot at a perfect summer with a million opportunities in New York City and I know that I have to catch the first flight back to Chicago. It’s over and it’s all her fault. Who knew a nineteen year old could ruin three lives in one day, four if you include her loser boyfriend.

I’m on the verge of crying as I ask, “Have you told mom?”

“No. I’m too scared. I’m going to tell her tomorrow. I just… I… I’m sorry..” Before I can say, ‘how hard is it to use a condom?’ I hang up the phone.

“How long have you known?” I narrow my eyes at him.

“Not long…I wasn’t allowed to tell you…I just thought she should tell you..” He falls over his words.

“How long?” I narrow my eyes at him.

“Three weeks.”

“How could you possibly…I..” I feel the tears of betrayal begin to consume my sight.”I have to go.” I toss my napkin onto the table and run towards the sidewalk to hail a taxi. Adam doesn’t chase me. He just doesn’t and I don’t want him to. I don’t want to speak to him, not to anyone. I just want to disappear.



It’s so easy to hide. All I ever have to do is look places that people wouldn’t look. I never thought it would be so easy to become irrelevant. Adam texted me three times and called me twice. Megan won’t stop leaving me sobbing voicemails, as if her wasted tears will fix anything at all. Nothing even matters. It’s over. It’s been hours, three to be exact and I don’t know what I’m doing besides crying on a hot summer day. Alone.

“You know, everybody is looking for you.” I hear Johnnies voice break my train of thought.

“So?” I shrug and stare at the cement pavement between my feet.

“It’s not safe to be out here by yourself.” He tries to nudge some conversation into me.

“I know.” I breath, not looking up at him. I begin to play with the string on the hem of my purple tank-top.

“We don’t have to go back.” He begins.

“How did you find me?”

“This is my place. I’m the one that told you about it. Don’t you remember? That night when we fell asleep? You asked me what my favorite place was, and I told you Sunset Park.” Sunset park was more of a community garden than an actual park. It had been improperly place in an area where two small brownstones could easily fit, but instead it was filled with grass, and wild flowers, and a vegetable garden with only two dim lamps to illuminate it.

“How did you know?” I finally look up at him.

“You have nowhere else to go.” He shrugs. “But I am surprised that you remembered the street corners.” He smirks.

“Hey!” I shove him. “I’m not an idiot.”

“You lack conviction.” He shakes his head disappointedly.

“Thank you Mr. Fitz.I’ll keep that in mind.” I roll my eyes.

“Just saying, you’ve done way better.” He smiles at me and I watch as his dimples take shape on his well sculpted face.

“Are you saying I’m not insulting you correctly?” I whip my head towards him.

“I guess I am.” He cautiously slides closer to me on the bench.

“My sisters pregnant.” I say meekly, trying to hold back all emotions associated with the sentence.

“Tough break.” I feel his arm brush mine.

“It’s different.” I shake my head in refusal. “I have to go home.” I feel my voice break, a lump forming prominently in my throat.

“What?” Shock floods his voice. “Why? This is her fault! Not yours.” A bewildered expression consumes his face.

Because I can’t afford any of this. I can’t afford it anymore. I’m here on half a scholarship, I have to get a job now. A real job this summer and go back to Illinois. We need the money. We have a mouth to feed . A baby to get ready for and I can’t pretend to afford this whole thing anymore!” I cry as tears begin to make their way down my cheeks and drop my head into my hands.

Johnnie wraps an arm around me, pulling me in closer to his chest and I convince myself thrat every fiber in me wants to shrug him off, and I intend to, but I never do. I let his warms hands touch my shoulder and pull me close. I let myself burst into hysteria once my sobs can be muffled by his shirt. I let myself go. I can feel myself begin to uncoil within his embrace and as I let out a heavy breath I feel release.

“I don’t want to go home.” I whisper, my head on his shoulder.

“I know.” He says soothingly.

“I didn’t even do anything wrong.” I mumble subconsciously.

“What about you? Your talent? It’s not fair. You deserve this Gabrielle, all of it. It’s her fault, I’m sure she can find the money.” He rationalizes.

“It doesn’t matter.” I shrug. “Nothing really matters now. Those sorts of things never happen for me.”

“Yes it does.” You can still change things.” He untangles himself from me and lifts at my chin.

“Whatever I do at this point is irrelevant. You haven’t met my mother.” I shake his hand away from my face as I feel my cell-phone begin to ring it’s designated tone just for my mother.

“Watch.” I let out a hopeless laugh, mocking the thought, before I flip my phone open and change it to speaker.

“How could you not tell me?” She says in a low tone.

“What?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Your sister is four months pregnant and you didn’t tell me? That isn’t like you Gabrielle. When did you start keeping those sorts of things from me?” Is she seriously trying to blame this on me.

“I had no idea she was four months pregnant.” I say keeping my voice as even as possible.

“Don’t you dare lie to me Gabrielle!” Why is she raising her voice at me?

“I’m not lying! She told me today. Mom! I shout.

“And you still didn’t tell me!” She yells. Johnnie runs a hopeless hand over his face.

“Stop yelling at me! I didn’t do anything!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me young lady. God only knows what the hell you’ve been up to in that damn city!” She retorts.

“What are you trying to say?” I say lowly.

"If Meghan was right in front of me and she got pregnant! Then how am I suppose to trust you all the way in New York?” Johnnie slaps a hopeless hand to his forehead.

“Because we’re two different people Mom! Two completely different people! Please explain to me how you’ve never forgotten that before and suddenly you’re lumping us into the same category?”

“Because she’s pregnant Gabrielle! Don’t you understand what this means?” This tone of hers is not working for me.

“What does it mean?” I put a defensive hand on my hip. Johnnie places a hand on my shoulder.

“It means I’ve booked your ticket home. It should come to you within a day or two.” No.

“I…I…I-,” Holy crap, why is this so hard?

“Spit it out Gabrielle,” My mother huffs.

“I’m not coming home. It’s not fair,” I protest weakly.

“Sweetie this isn’t about you. This is about Meghan and the baby.” She explains.

“Exactly this isn’t about me. This is about Meghan. Everything is always about Meghan. Why can’t my summer be about me? I’m in the most prestigious music program in the country. I deserve for something to be about me!”I can feel tears threatening to spill over and I hate it. I hate crying. At least in front of people.

“We can’t afford for things to be about you right now,” She sighs.

“We can never afford for things to be about me Mom! Ever! If you don’t want to make this about me, I will! I’m not getting on that plane when that ticket comes tomorrow.” What did I just say?

“Gabrielle your flight is on Friday. I’ll see you in three days. And if I don’t I swear I will come to New York and get you myself. Don’t think you’re all grown up because I let you go all the way across the country to play the piano. You are going to be on that plane when I come to pick you up Friday night.” Then the line goes dead.

“I should pack.” I grab at my thin sweater.

“You don’t mean that.”

“There are no choices here.” I shrug.

“Yeah? Why not?”

“Because.”

“Because no one wants to watch you go.” His voice goes even.

“Stop. Okay? Stop pretending like you understand.”

“And why don’t I?” He smirks.

“Kayla told me, okay? I’m not one for social prejudice, so don’t take this that way, but you’re family is loaded. Upper East Side, twelve middle names, loaded. So spare me the sob story if you’re going to try to convince me. Don’t try to relate to me because we both know you can’t and you never will. Isn’t that right? John Peter James Shamus McNally the third.” I cross my arms over my chest. “What is it called? A blue blood?”

“Is that a problem?” The corners of his mouth turn to a frown.

“What would I know? I’m just a suburban girl from Illinois.” I shrug.

“That’s sort of a low blow isn’t it?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me? Okay? I don’t need you cashing in on my Daddy issues or anything like that.”

“Maybe if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself for three seconds you would realize how many people actually care about you! I was born into money, I can’t help that, the same way you can’t help that you were born with talent!”.

“Is it nice?”

“Is what nice?” He looks up at me.

“Being a blue blood.”

“It’s fine, just different that’s all. The girls are different. I’m different.” He shrugs.

“Are you? I can’t believe it.” I begin to analyze his smooth face.

“Well believe. I’m extremely convincing.” He winks.

“Shut up!” I shove him, a smile breaking onto my face.

“Well, if you’re so very interested you should find out all on your own. Right?” How clever of him.

“ Really,Shamus?” I tease.

“John, actually.” He smiles.