This Deafening Silence

I ran over to the other side of the stage to help Flyzik with Alex. “Alex? Alex, are you alright?” I asked urgently, grabbing his hand. He seemed so dazed and out of it. He hit his head pretty fucking hard, though.

“Maddie,” he practically slurred my name, grinning and throwing his sweaty arms around me.

I grimaced, holding him at arm’s length so I could see his face. His eyes were out of focus a bit, and it was swiftly swelling where he hit his head on the speaker. “Flyzik, I think we need to call an ambulance,” I told the boys’ manager. Flyzik nodded in agreement and helped me take Alex outside the venue, already on the phone calling 911.

“Alex, NOOOOO!” Jack screamed melodramatically when the ambulance finally took Alex away. He seemed pretty aware of his surroundings, but I was afraid that it was a concussion and not just a regular old bruise. I sighed and hugged myself before rubbing my arms up and down, trying to get warm.

A thin jean jacket was suddenly draped over my shoulders. “He’ll be fine,” Flyzik assured me, adjusting his jacket on me. I nodded and smiled back at him, because I felt like if I talked I would snap and be all, “HE WILL NOT BE FINE DID YOU SEE WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO HIM?!” or something.

I drove to the hospital in my car, speeding along the way to get there faster. Once I made it to the ER, I asked for Alex. I sat in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, though.

Zack, Rian, and Jack came soon after I did, along with Bailey, Flyzik, the other Matt, Evan, Greico, Nano, Vinny – the whole All Time Low band and crew. “Um…who’s here to see Alexander William Gaskarth?” a nurse asked, approaching us timidly.

“We are,” said Jack instantly, getting to his feet before I could. “How is he doing?”

“He can only take one visitor at a time, the room is pretty small…”

Jack looked to me first. I was grateful that he did, but I figured Jack should see Alex first. Jack followed the nurse down to Alex’s room. “See? He’s alright, Maddie,” Flyzik said cheerfully, playfully punching my arm.

I smiled and punched him back, but said nothing just in case my voice cracked and my tears spilled over. If Alex was hurt, I would cry. If Alex wasn’t hurt, I would cry and make sure he got hurt somehow for worrying me so much. We all sat together in the waiting room for a while. It was really late, so I ended up falling asleep on Matt’s shoulder for a bit. Jack was taking forever. I wanted to see Alex, too, dammit!

He came back after a good half hour, but he didn’t sit down with us. He motioned for Zack and Rian to come to him, and they all talked for a bit by the entrance to the hospital wing, very far from the end of the waiting room the rest of us occupied. I couldn’t make out what they were saying or read their lips very well, but when I saw Rian cover his mouth and Zack’s muscular shoulders slump as he hung his head, I knew something was up, and I didn’t like it.

“How is he?” I asked when I walked up to them. They all looked at each other before staring at the ground. My breath caught in my throat, so I pushed past them in search of Alex’s room, despite their protests. I found Alex in his room, sitting up in his hospital bed, his face covered by his hands. “Alex?” I said his name gently, resting my hand on his shoulder.

“Fuck off!” he yelled hoarsely. It sounded like he was actually crying, too.

Shocked, I left the room sobbing. It wasn’t like him to yell at me. “Maddie! Maddie, wait,” Jack said urgently, grabbing my hand. “Don’t be like that, Alex didn’t mean it.”

“How do you know?” I snapped, trying to stop the tears.

“Because…” Jack said slowly, his eyes never leaving my own.“Look, Maddie…Alex is now – well – deaf.”