This Deafening Silence

“Tell him I will do anything to get my hearing back, Maddie. Anything, alright?” I told her as we walked to the doctor’s office together. She only looked up at me and tightened her grip on my hand before walking forward even faster.

I was excited when we got called back to Dr. Patterson’s office. Finally, something would be done about my hearing! He was sitting in his office looking through his papers and stuff when Maddie knocked on his door. He motioned for us to come in.

He said hello to me, and asked how I was feeling, before I got sent off to one of the nurses for a checkup. I didn’t want to leave Maddie with the doctor, but she insisted. Not that I wasn’t concerned about my girlfriend, but I didn’t want her to be alone with the doctor for pretty much one reason only, as much of a bad boyfriend that makes me sound like. I just didn’t want her discussing what to do with my deafness with the doctor without me present.

No offense, but… She’s not the deaf one. She doesn’t have to spend every day in silence. She doesn’t make music for a living. She shouldn’t decide what to do for me.

The nurse took my vitals and looked at my ears and stuff, then she told me to wait in the check up room for Maddie and the doctor. She used sign language and everything, which I didn’t understand, so I told her I didn’t know what she was saying and she just wrote down what she was saying on a slip of paper.

I knew Maddie didn’t want me to get surgery. But, shit, for my hearing back, I really would take anything. I’ve been deaf for a little over a month now, but even at that, I wasn’t used to deafness. I certainly wasn’t coming to terms with it. I was just dealing with it right now, because I knew it was going to be over soon. It had to be.

I straightened up when they came into the room. Maddie sat down in the chair at the far corner of the room, crossing her legs at the knees before folding her arms across her chest and sighing as she stared at the floor. Alex, Dr. Patterson said slowly, exaggerating his mouth movements and everything for my benefit. We’re going to run you through a few hearing tests today.

“You can talk normally,” I tried not to scowl. “I’m newly deaf, not retarded. I can read your lips just fine.”

Dr. Patterson cleared his throat uncomfortably as Maddie’s lips twitched into a grin. Right…Well, Alex, would you follow me, then?

I hopped off the examination table, leaning down to give Maddie a quick kiss before we left the examination room for another room…with a big metal crate looking thing in it. Dr. Patterson motioned for me to sit inside. He said something to me that I actually couldn’t understand, so he had to whip out the notepad and pen.

These walls are soundproof. We’re going to test your hearing. We will play tones at different frequencies, and you will press this button if you hear anything.

I frowned when I read it. “But Dr.Patterson, I’m deaf, remember?”

He smiled as he shut me inside the room I sighed and closed my eyes. Closing my eyes used to always make me hear better. I sat there for a few minutes, straining my ears…when I heard it. I heard some high pitched something, so I pressed the button. I heard the tone again, so I pressed the button again. I was kind of flipping out. I heard it. How did I hear it?

A few minutes later, Dr. Patterson came back in. I quickly got to my feet. “I heard it! I heard it, sometimes!”

Smiling, he nodded and motioned for me to follow him. We went back to the examination room Maddie was waiting in. Dr. Patterson talked at both of us, but more to Maddie than me. She nodded and asked him a few questions, too, but the conversation was going a little too fast for me to keep up. Maddie’s grip on my hand tightened as the conversation progressed, as well. I wonder what they were talking about?

A few minutes later, Dr. Patterson got up to leave. “Maddie, what was that about?” I asked when he shut the door behind him.

Maddie pulled out her iPhone to type it all out for me.

Dr. Patterson said you can hear things at really high frequencies, frequencies humans normally don’t hear. In other words, your hearing is damaged, not lost. Then he talked about some medicines or something that will help your ears heal. No serious surgery, thank god.

“How long is it going to take for my hearing to get back, then?” I asked excitedly.

Maddie bit her lip, and I was a bit disheartened when she shrugged. She opened her mouth to say something to me, but then she looked at her phone. Her eyes went wide and she showed me her phone.

I would recognize that number anywhere. It was the number of my old house phone. Of my parents.

What do I say? Maddie asked, panicking as much as I was.

“Just…Just don’t pick up. Don’t send your busy tone, either. Just let it ring.” Maddie held her phone in her palm for a while, and then it stopped ringing. Shit. I’d forgotten all about my parents. I’d forgotten that they didn’t know about my deafness. “Did they leave a voicemail?”

Maddie nodded and held up her finger, signaling me to wait, as she listened to it.