You're Never Gonna Find It if You're Looking for It

"Hey sweetie."

And then...Jeph's arm went aroun her in the booth...

and they kissed.

Why was this so hard for me to watch?

Then Jeph looked back at me.

"This is my girlfriend, Katrina. Katrina, this is a friend of mine, Hazel."

"Oh really?" she was an inch away from his face, and it was almost sickening to see it. "How long have you known her?" Katrina had a smile on her face the whole time.

Jeph paused for a moment. It looked like he was going to say something, but then decided to say something else. "She was a good friend of mine in high school. Best of friends, we were. Then she moved away, and came back to Orem just recently." He winked at me.

I guess that's just what i was going to have to go along with.

"Hazel and I were just catching up on old times." Jeph said.

"Thats GREAT, honey! Well, i have to get back to work, my boss says that the next time he catches me out talking to people--"

"Hey! Katrina!" I heard a voice say loudly. "Get back in here or you're losing your job!"

"Just a second, Rick!" she said back. The man named 'Rick' dissapeared into the back, and Katrina sighed. "I guess this is goodbye until later."

"Awwwww." Jeph said. He then put on a big pouty face.

"I'm sorry." She then gave him a really big kiss, and i looked down at my hands.

It made me sick to my stomach.

"I'll see you later tonight." Jeph said, then kissing her one last time before she ran into the back room. "God, i love her."

"I can tell." I mumbled.

Okay, have you ever had a good time with somebody, and you really liked that somebody and you were in a great mood until their girlfriend/boyfriend came around and they started being all kissy around each other. And then that just totaly destroys your mood? Yea, that's EXACTLY how i felt. I had this sinking feeling in my gut, and my head was just screaming to me, 'What made you think, for one moment, that he liked you back? He has a fucking girlfriend, woman! A girlfriend!'

"Yea, we've been going out for 3 months now. We really like each other, and, 'it shows' according to Bert."

"I'd have to agree with Bert there."

"What's your problem?"

I hesitated to say anything, and then i sighed. "Nothing."

'Nope, nothing at all' was what went through my head. 'It's just the fact that with my stupid thoughts, i actually thought he liked me.'

"Well, i'm gonna go back to the skate park and meet up with Zoe. I guess I'll see you there." I got up quickly and was out the door before he could question.

*Now we're back at the skate park*

"Hey you!" Zoe squeeled at me. She was sitting on a park bench with Bert, i could tell she was flirting with him. "Where's Jeph?"

"I have no fucking clue. I could care less." I grumbled.

"What's the matter?" she asked. But before i could answer, Bert piped up.

"Did he take you to that cafe?" He asked. I opened my mouth to say 'yes.' but i just nodded instead. Bert shook his head dissapointedly. "That asshole. I'm going to kick his ass when he finally comes around."

I shook my head. "You don't have to, man. I'm perfectly fine without him."

"C'mon, honey." Zoe said, then getting up and putting her arm around me. "Let's go do something that'll get your mind off of him."

I groaned. "I don't want to do anything. What time is it?"

"It's almost 3 o clock." Bert said. I sighed, then looked at the ground.

"I think i might go and sleep for a little while...i have nothing better to do."

"Come on, Hazey! Stick around, have some fun, blow him off, he's a guy!"

"Yeah, a guy i actually thought i liked." I rolled my eyes and started to walk away.

With all honesty,

i could care less where i went...

so as long as i was away from there.