my wish never

When my alarm clock went off at seven forty-five this morning, I decided to ignore it and sleep for another hour or so. When I woke up later on, and decided to get dressed and go to school, I realized that I still had to finish part of my homework and pack my lunch for that day. Both of my parents and my brother had already left the house, so I was left all alone, the way that I liked it. By the time I actually left the house it was about an hour before lunch, which made me hungry. It didn’t help that, like every morning, I rode my bike to school.
Class had just gotten out when I panned up to the school; I could hear the bell when I chained my bike up. Going to the office, explaining why I was late, and getting a ‘tardy slip’ was too much of a hassle to do, so I just crept by very carefully, making sure that I was hidden behind a cloud of people swarming in the halls. It didn’t really matter, though, since my dark grey sweater, black skinny jeans, and dyed black hair stood out against the rest of the crowd, who happened to be a bunch of freshman’s with bleach-blonde hair.
“Miss Langton,” the secretary, who I knew all too well from countless called me from her desk.
Reluctantly, I turned around and plastered a fake, cheesy smile. “Mrs. Peasly,” I said, in a fake, somewhat cheesy/happy voice, “what a pleasant surprise.”
“I know you don’t mean that, now come here and get your slip.”
She scribbled down – and I literally mean scribbled – on a small slip of paper and handed it to me saying, “I’m not even going to ask why you were late this time. If you keep this up, Shilo, then you’re going to get into deep trouble soon.”
“I know, Mrs. Peasly,” I said, sarcastically, “I’m aware of it. I’ll try to be more punctual.”
After being sure to give me a glare that screamed ‘watch it- I’m ticked ’, she gestured for me to leave. I crushed the note into a little damp ball in my fist, and slipped it into my messenger bag, which was slung around my neck and tucked under my arm.
I walked up to the second floor where my locker was, and it was easy to detect even if I had forgotten which was it was. Almost every day, without fail, there was something going on around it. Either a first fight, two people who looked like they really needed to get a room, something funny going on, which wasn’t really funny at all. It was like whoever assigned lockers to us decided to put all the delinquents into one corner so we could all kill ourselves. It didn’t exactly help that my locker was smack in the middle of all this.
But this time, nothing was going it, other than some random giggling when people passed by the lockers. Once I got close enough, I could see why. Plastered all over my locker, in messy black hand writing, were notes taped onto my locker that every idiot here thought was so funny.
I stood back against the wall to read them. I was used to people being cruel, but this was honestly a new low, even for whoever had the great idea of putting them there.
“ F*GGOT !”
“GO KILL YOURSELF”
“FREAK”
Each remark felt like it killed a part of me, but in a way, made me feel . . . alive, almost. Strange as it may be, this is where I would get my high from- from all the torment. Maybe it was because that was something that I could use against people? Either way, it basically only went skin deep. If there was one thing that I was going to make sure happened, even if it was the last thing I’d do, it was to leave this place. Too much stuff has already happened here, so a new start is defiantly what I needed.
I walked up to my locker with a low profile, and then violently tore off the paper with my black claws that I had for nails. I even left a few scratches on the locker due to me accidently scraping off the green paint covering them.
“Geeze, can’t you take a joke,” some wise aleck told me.
Ignoring him, I threw my bag into my locker and got out the stuff that I needed for my next class.
For the rest of the day I stayed my usual, ‘dark and mysterious’ self, at least that’s how everyone looks at me. I ate lunch on the roof, like I usually did, and after school went to cross country practice like I normally did.