my wish never

Dinner that night was odd. For a while we sat in silence, barely pecking at out Chinese take-out. My dad finally broke the silence by banging his fist on the table and bursting out, "Why did you leave school today?!"
My brother and mum flinches out of shock, I, on the other hand, ignored him.
"Answer me!" he bellowed, his face turning a bright red and his hair starting to stick up. He started to tremble out of anger.
"Because three b*tches at school decided it would be funny if I had sobbing wet jeans," I yelled back, frustrated. If there was one thing I hated, it was talking about myself. I'd rather keep everything bottled up inside where nobody could see my ugly self.
"Don't yell at me!" he yelled back, even louder. "I'm your father and you have to respect me. I can yell at you, but you cannot yell at me young lady!"
"If I have to respect you, then you have to respect me! I hate it when people say that they're better than other people!"
Without another warning he smacked me across the face.
"I'm almost eighteen! Just you wait, you'll never see me again! You bast*rd!"
I stormed up stairs.
"Good!" he yelled at me, "I don't want to pay for your college! All you'll get is a hand shake and a goodbye!"
"I don't want you pity!"
I slammed the door behind me loudly, so that it echoed in my house. I hated him like crazy. If I could, I would've killed him. He always over reacts and is a thorn in my side, and he's been this childish even since I was about nine or so. He really started going, though, when I started to rebel with I was eleven or twelve.
It was at times like this, when I felt worthless or depressed, that I would slice my arm up. I pulled out my razor, which I pulled out of my shaving razor, and cut a huge slice in my arm, all the way down, then cut once across, up on my forearm. When I was in the seventh grade I started doing this, and I remember one person found out, I told everyone else that it was just my cat, not that I actually had one. The girl who knew always asked if it hurt, and I always told her no, which wasn't a total lie. Later on she started copying almost everything I did, including cutting herself. Then we went to different high schools and I didn't hear from her since.
I wiped the access blood off my arm and waited for them to dry, then took a shower and went to bed while listening to Godsmack.