Speechless

One shot, two shots, three shots, four.

A week ago, Matt made me a promise he would never hit me again. Today, I walked around with a black eye. It was a Friday, so I let Oli and Lee take me out to a party. It took them hours of convincing, though, but I finally caved, seeing as how I just wanted to forget things with Matt for a while.

Right now, I was clinging onto Oli's arm, trying not to fall. I never really drank much, so it was weird having my vision slightly blurred and my balance being terrible. Oli wasn't as drunk as I was, but he was almost there. Somehow, his balanced was great. He was Jesus in my mind right now.

"Yeh want teh go sit down 'fore yeh fall, love?" He questioned, gripping onto me so I didn't fall. I downed the rest of my drink, even though I had no clue what it was, then nodded at him. He sat his current drink down and picked me up bridal style, carried me to an empty couch, and sat us both down. I yawned, then cuddled into his side.

My outfit of the evening wasn't exactly warm. I had worn a plain white tank top and black shorts with just a hoodie, so my legs were numb from being cold, even though we were inside a house. Apparently, the fucker didn't know how to turn the heat on.

Oli pushed the hair out of my face, noticing that my eyes were closed. "Yeh want teh go back teh meh house? It's pretty late any ways."

I shook my head no as I opened my eyes. I stood up, pointed to the area where people were dancing, and grabbed his hand. He chuckled and stood up then lead me to the dancing area. I turned my back to him as he put his hands on my hips and started dancing. I felt Oli press himself against me, but I thought nothing of it and kept dancing.

---

After three more hours of the party, Oli and I decided it was time to leave. I followed him to his car, stumbling ever so often. Once I got inside his car, I curled up in his seat and closed my eyes. Lee got in the back seat, quietly saying something to Oli that I couldn't hear. Oli took off soon after.

After dropping off Lee, a few minutes after, Oli announced we were at his house. I took my time getting out of the car, feeling myself start to sober a little. I wasn't stumbling any more, so that was good.

I followed Oli inside his house, careful not to wake his parents. Not that they cared any ways. I grabbed Oli's hand as I followed him up the stairs to ensure myself that I wouldn't fall.

"Go find some clothes teh change into, alright? I'll be there in a second." He said then kissed my cheek quickly before walking into the bathroom. I walked into his room and searched for something of his to wear, finding some sleep pants and a shirt that swallowed me whole, but I didn't care. I laid down on the bed and curled up.

I thought about Matt. He was pretty pissed when I told him I was going out with Oli tonight. He almost hit me again, but I left before I gave him the chance. I was sick of his shit already. On the other hand, I loved him more than anything. When he wasn't mad, he was the sweetest guy in the world. He would bring me presents and kiss me unexpectedly. He would hold me in his arms and try to explain how much he loved me. He never really did any of the nice things any more.

I didn't even notice I was crying until Oli walked in and asked me what was wrong. He laid down on the bed and rubbed my back soothingly since I was facing away from him. I grabbed my phone and typed in Matt before showing it to him.

"What about him, love?" He asked. I cleared out Matt's name and wrote The way he's being now. He used to be so nice. before showing it to him again.

"I know, love. He won't tell any one of us why he's doin' it besides the fact that yeh won't talk. I think there's more teh it, though."

I sighed and thought about what he said before typing I love him so much, but I can't deal with him hitting me. I don't want to leave him, but what if that's what's best for me? I can't keep telling my mom I "fell" every time he leaves a mark on me. I think she suspects it's Matt any ways. I showed him the phone and watched his face as he read.

"Well, I can't tell yeh what teh do, Ads. It's yeh life. I do know he's loves yeh a lot, but he's messed up in the head, yeh know? He's scared of losin' yeh. I don't know if he thinks hittin' yeh will make yeh stay, or what, but he does love yeh. Don't ever doubt that. He just has somethin' wrong with him up in his head."