The Pumpkin Massacre

Melia swung her dark purple Miata into the driveway, killed the engine, and hopped eagerly from the car. She practically ran up the front walk, not even hesitating as she burst through the front door. "I’m here!" she called.

"We’re in here!" came Heather’s voice from the kitchen.

Melia walked down the wide hall that divided the house and stepped through the archway that opened onto the expansive kitchen. Kristy and Mickie were sitting at the huge dining table with an open container of Halloween cupcakes between them. Jeanie was perched on the center island, flipping through a magazine that had Avenged Sevenfold on the cover. Heather was leaned against the counter next to the black oven. The faint sound of popping popcorn came from the microwave behind her.

"Hey!" Melia greeted brightly.

"Hey," the other girls all replied simultaneously.

"Want a cupcake?" Kristy offered, pointing at the container.

"Don’t mind if I do." Melia plucked a cupcake out of its plastic holder on her way to the center island. She hopped up on the marble surface next to Jeanie. "So, what are we doing?"

"Waiting on the guys to get home," Mickie answered, licking some orange icing off her thumb.

Melia frowned. "Where’d they go?"

"To a costume shop because—big surprise—your man changed his mind about what he wanted to dress up as," Heather said.

Melia giggled. "Figures. I told him not to make a decision until closer to Halloween. He always changes his mind if he decides too early."

"He always changes his mind anyway," Kristy remarked, rolling her eyes.

The smile faded from Melia’s face. "I’m surprised he hasn’t changed his mind about me."

Jeanie closed her magazine and looked at Melia. "He’ll never change his mind about you. He’d be insane to let you go."

"But y’all know what he’s like," Melia said. "He never stays happy with any one thing for longer than two seconds. Sometimes…" She dropped her eyes to the cupcake still held in her hand. "…I wonder how many days I have left before he moves on to the next girl that snags his attention."

Kristy, Mickie, and Heather immediately converged around her. Jeanie rubbed her back comfortingly.

"Melia." Kristy cupped Melia’s face in her hands, forcing the other girl to look at her. "That’s never going to happen. No other girl will ever get his attention because he’s always focused on you. Trust me. We’ve all seen the way he looks at you."

Mickie and Heather nodded in agreement.

"He’s head-over-heels," Jeanie stated matter-of-factly.

Melia sighed. "I hope you girls are right."

"Uh, of course we are," Heather said. "We’re the Bat Bitch Crew."

A smile flickered across Melia’s lips.

"That’s better," Kristy said. "We can’t have the Deathbat Queen upset the day before Halloween."

The microwave beeped, signaling that the popcorn was done. Heather retrieved the bag, tore it open, and dumped the popcorn into a bowl. "C’mon," she urged. "Let’s go watch a movie."

Kristy, Mickie, Jeanie, and Melia followed her into the living room.

"Hello?" a female voice rang out just as Heather was putting in The Shining.

"In here!" Mickie and Kristy called.

Jason, better known as JB Diz, walked in with his twin brother Matty, his girlfriend Sara, and Matty’s girlfriend Jaimi.

"Where are the guys?" JB questioned.

Heather, Kristy, Mickie, and Jeanie all looked at Melia.

"Brian changed his mind again, didn’t he?" Matty guessed.

Melia nodded.

"Mmm, popcorn." Jaimi and Sara joined Melia, Mickie, Kristy, and Jeanie on the large wrap-around sofa. Heather started the movie and squeezed in between Jeanie and Melia. JB and Matty were left to fight over the one recliner in the room. JB won, and Matty was resigned to sitting on the floor.

It was growing dark outside and they had reached the part where Danny was alone in the hedge maze when they heard a car door slam.

"Somebody’s Miata is in the damn way!" Matt yelled, stomping into the house.

"You'll live!" Melia shot back.

Matt, Brian, Zacky, Johnny, and Jimmy filed into the living room. Brian approached the sofa and tugged Melia to her feet, kissing her deeply.

"You were right," he said once he broke the kiss. "I changed my mind again."

"I knew you would. So, what are you going to be now?"

Brian gave her a wicked smile. "David from The Lost Boys."

Melia’s eyes widened slightly. It was obvious he had chosen the costume for her benefit. She loved vampires, she adored that movie, and she thought that David was the sexiest of the Lost Boys.

"Oooh," Johnny said, plopping down in Melia’s abandoned spot. "The Shining. I love this movie!"

Mickie climbed into Johnny’s lap. Brian and Melia took the empty place she’d left. Jeanie, Heather, and Kristy got to their feet, letting Zacky, Matt, and Jimmy sit down before settling themselves in the guys’ laps.

Kristy leaned across Melia to reach the bowl of popcorn and whispered, "Told ya so. Head-over-heels."

**********

"C’mon, girls!" Matt hollered. "If you want to get there before the damn place closes, hurry it up!"

Heather leaned out of her bedroom and shouted back, "Oh, shut up! You won’t be bitching when you get to walk in with the sexiest girls in southern California."

"Amen!" Jimmy crowed. "Take your time, ladies. I want everyone to be jealous."

The girls giggled. It was four o’clock the next day, and the girls were getting ready for a night out with the guys. The girls weren’t exactly sure where they were going, but they wanted to look their best, no matter what. They loved driving the guys crazy, and Halloween was the best excuse to dress like a slut and watch the guys drool a little. As Jeanie said, "It’s revenge. They make us drool every fucking day. Why can’t we have a little fun once a year?"

The girls had decided to dress up as jesters. Sexy jesters, of course. The outfits consisted of a corset, a tiny skirt that barely covered everything, striped leggings, knee-high lace-up boots, gloves, and a jester’s hat. Each girl wore a different color: Heather’s was blue and black, Melia’s was purple and black, Kristy’s was neon green and black, Mickie’s was yellow and black, Jeanie’s was red and black, Jaimi’s was white and black, and Sara’s was hot pink and black.

The girls also had on heavy makeup, which was rare for them. They’d all applied black eyeliner, eyeshadow the color of their corsets, tons of glitter, dark red lip gloss, and false eyelashes.

"We look fuckin’ sexy!" Jaimi exclaimed, admiring herself in Heather’s full-length mirror.

"Hell yeah, we do," Jeanie agreed, moving to stand beside Jaimi.

"Ready for our grand entrance?" Kristy asked, adjusting her black evening gloves. Everyone, except Melia, had chosen black evening gloves to go with their costume. Melia was wearing her Syn Gates Clothing gloves.

"We’re ready," Sara said. "But I’m not sure the guys will be able to handle this."

Laughing, the girls made their way to the stairs. Kristy and Mickie in the front, they slowly descended the steps to the first floor and lined up side-by-side in the hallway.

There was a long moment during which the guys did nothing but stare. Finally, JB broke the silence: "I fucking love Halloween!"

The other guys immediately agreed. Melia had to admit that the guys looked almost as good as the girls. Matt was Colossus from the X-Men comics, meaning he was dressed in a wifebeater, tight jeans, and workman boots (always a good look for him).

Jimmy was Jareth, the Goblin King, from The Labyrinth. His costume was made up of a white dress shirt with long puffy sleeves, black riding gloves, a black vest, and gray leggings that did nothing to hide his natural bulge. He had a blond wig on and Sara had done his makeup perfectly before getting ready herself.

Brian hadn’t changed his mind again and was going as David from The Lost Boys. He hadn’t shaved in a couple of days, so he was a little scruffy. He had on his typical black eyeliner and a golden cross dangled from one ear. He had on a black tee-shirt, black jeans, and a black trench coat. Even though David had blond hair, Melia had persuaded Brian not to buy a wig. His hair was styled almost identically to David’s. Who gave a fuck if it was the right color? When Brian smiled, he flashed a hint of fang.

Zacky was a ringmaster. His outfit was the one Brendon Urie had worn in the Panic at the Disco video for "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies." It looked way better on Zacky. He even had a bullwhip.

Johnny had dressed as Heath Ledger's version of The Joker from The Dark Knight. He had on purple pinstripe pants, a Tripp black and green striped vest, a purple dress coat, and a pair of Converse Chuck Taylor All Star High Tops.

JB and Matty had decided to be the split personalities of one person. Matty was Dr. Jekyll, and JB was Mr. Hyde.

"Alright," Matt said. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" Heather inquired as they all piled into Matt's Cadillac Escalade.

"It's a surprise," Zacky replied.

"Zacky!" Jeanie whined.

"We're going to eat," Johnny said.

"And after?" Melia pressed.

Jimmy wagged his finger in her face. "Good try, sinful little vixen. But we' re not telling."

"Get your finger out of my face or you're gonna draw back a nub," Melia grumbled, pouting.

The guys laughed.

"Just shut up and enjoy the ride," Matt advised. "You'll see when we get there, and you won't be disappointed."

**********

Dinner was a noisy affair, like always when one ate with the Avenged guys and their stage techs.

"Everyone!" Brian said as everyone was getting ready to order dessert.

Matt, Johnny, Jimmy, Zacky, Kristy, Mickie, Heather, Jaimi, Melia, Jeanie, and Sara all looked at him. JB and Matty, however, continued to debate the merits of having a big piece of chocolate pie for dessert, considering they'd probably be eating a lot of candy later and did they really want to be sick in the morning?

"HEY, ROADIES!" Johnny yelled. "SHUT UP!"

JB and Matty fell silent, both wearing puzzled expressions.

"Mr. Gates has something to say," Matt informed them.

Now, everyone's attention was on Brian.

"I need to get something off my chest," Brian began. "I know I'm a very fickle guy. I change my mind about everything, and that has caused someone some concern."

Kristy, Mickie, Sara, Jaimi, Jeanie, and Heather all glanced at Melia.

Brian faced Melia, taking her hands in his. "I hate the thought of you doubting my feelings for you. I love you, and I will never change my mind about that. So....will you marry me?"

There was a long moment of shocked silence. Melia reacted first. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she didn't think she was capable of speech. She nodded, a half-laugh/half-sob escaping her. Brian hugged her tightly.

"Now can we have chocolate pie?" JB asked, and everyone burst out laughing.

Chattering happily, the group of fourteen finished their meal. Melia and Brian were holding hands and wouldn't let go.

The guys paid for dinner and they all loaded back into Matt's Escalade. Melia and Brian claimed the very back, where Brian slid an amethyst engagement ring on her finger.

"I love you, Bri," she murmured, snuggling as close to him as she could get.

"I love you, too," he said. "And I'm sorry I ever made you doubt our relationship. You've had me from the instant we met. I couldn't walk away from you even if I wanted to."

Melia smiled. "Kristy was right. She told me you were head-over-heels."

Brian nodded. "She's a smart girl."

It took an hour and forty minutes for them to reach their destination.

"We're here!" Matt announced finally, killing the engine.

The girls eagerly peered out the tinted windows to see exactly where "here" was. They could see people milling around a gate, the area illuminated by torches. A wooden sign over the gate read "The Pumpkin Massacre" in jagged, blood red letters.

"I read about this place," Melia said. "It's a ten-thousand square foot indoor and outdoor maze."

"A maze?" Jaimi repeated.

"Yep," Melia confirmed. "And, of course, there are scenes and stuff. But I think the main point is to find your way out."

Matt raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Sound good, ladies?"

"HELL YES!" the girls shouted together. They scrambled out of the van and set off for the entrance, the guys hurrying to catch up with them.

The girls paused at the entrance of the maze. "Who’s leading?" Mickie mused aloud.

Zacky raised his hand. "I will."

The girls all exchanged glances. "Um, I’m not sure that’s a good idea," Melia said.

"Of course it’s a good idea," Zacky disputed, slinging an arm around Melia’s shoulders. "See, men have an innate sense of direction. That’s why men are the ones who hunt. They can always find their way back home, no matter how far they have to travel to get food. It’s evolution."

Melia glanced at Jeanie, who arched an eyebrow. Brian tugged Melia away from Zacky and whispered, "Let him have this one. It’s just a little Halloween maze. What harm will it do if he gets us lost?"

Melia sighed. "Fine." She looked at Zacky. "Alright, Lewis, lead the way."

"Guess that means I’m Clark," Brian remarked.

With the Terror Twins in the lead, the group of fourteen entered the maze.

**********

Melia was clinging tightly to Brian’s arm. They’d been walking for several minutes and nothing had happened. She didn’t trust the lack of scares. She knew she would continue to grow more tense until something happened.

Suddenly, Hollywood Undead’s "No Other Place" emanated from Zacky’s pocket.

"Zacky—" Jeanie attempted, but that was all she managed.

"’Cause there’s no other place that I’d rather be than Los Angeles," Zacky, Matt, Johnny, and JB started singing, just like they did every time Zacky’s phone went off. "Come on, shake it, baby. Come on, grab a drink, I wanna see you hit the floor. You’ve got a fat ass, but you shake it like you ain’t a ho."

Jeanie, Heather, Mickie, and Sara all rolled their eyes.

"Stop!" Sara yelled.

Zacky, Matt, Johnny, and JB looked at her.

"Do you know how tired I am of that song?" Sara said.

"The question is: do I care how tired you are of that song?" Zacky countered.

Jeanie smacked him across the back of the head.

"Ow!" He glared at her.

"Turn off your phone," Sara ordered.

Zacky pretended to think about it. "Um…NO!"

"Zack Baker, if you don’t turn off your phone, I will find some other way to get rid of it," Sara threatened.

Zacky smirked and toyed with his phone for a second. Hollywood Undead’s "Bitches" floated into the air.

"Bitches, I hope you know I won’t stop ‘til I hit that ho," Zacky, Matt, JB, and Johnny intoned. "Baby, come say hello, and get your drunk ass over here. Let’s go."

Sara’s eyes narrowed. In the next instant, she had snatched Zacky’s cell out of his hand and flung it away.

There was a long moment during which everyone stared at her in shock. "BITCH!" Zacky snarled once he could speak.

Jeanie grabbed his arm. "Calm down, Zee. Bri, call his phone so he can find it."

Brian dug his cell out of his jeans. He flipped it open. "I don’t have signal."

Matt, Johnny, Jimmy, JB, and Matty all broke out their cells. None of them had signal, either.

"Well, thanks a lot, Sara," Zacky said. "What if someone needs to get in touch with us? What if there’s an emergency?"

"If you’d shut the fuck up and get us through this maze, we won’t be here long enough for it to matter," Sara retorted.

Zacky glowered at her for another full minute, then stomped deeper into the maze. They rounded a corner and a hand closed around Melia’s arm. She spun around and was face-to-face with a horrifying clown. Letting out a shriek and stumbling backwards, she jerked her arm free.

"Whoa, baby!" Brian chuckled, his hold the only thing keeping her on her feet.

"Sorry," she muttered, embarrassed.

Brian’s dark eyes sparkled with amusement. "Clowns? That’s your big fear?"

Melia shot him a dirty look. "Yeah."

Brian chuckled.

"Shut up," Heather said. "I’m scared of clowns, too."

Mickie, Kristy, Jeanie, and Sara nodded.

"Oh, my God!" Matt grinned. "Seriously? The bad-ass Bat Bitches are scared of clowns?"

Heather crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at Matt. "Yep. You got something to say, Matthew?"

"No." But the girls could tell Matt was fighting not to laugh, and Zacky was doubled over with laughter.

"You know what? Fuck you, guys," Heather said, fuming. "C’mon, girls." She grabbed Melia’s hand and set off.

"Heather!" Matt called. "Where are you going?"

"Away from you!" she replied.

"I was just teasing!" he said.

Heather simply flipped him off. She took the first turn she came to and the girls entered one of the indoor scenes. They were in the hallway of an insane asylum, and there were dead orderlies on the ground. The patients had taken over.

Upon entry, a loud noise right next to the girls made them all jump. Mickie and Jaimi released little squeaks. They looked to their left. A guy dressed as a patient leered at them through the pane of glass set in the door of his cell.

Huddled together, the girls moved slowly through the scene. They relaxed a little when they made it back outside. It was a while before they found another scene—this one a slaughter house where deformed animals were butchering humans. The girls had just stepped inside when a scream made them pause.

"STOP! DON’T GO IN THERE!"

A girl in jeans and a t-shirt ran forward. There was blood matted in her pale hair, dried on the side of her face, and staining her clothes. Melia was nearest to her, so when she reached out, it was Melia’s arms she gripped. Her eyes were wild; tears streaked her cheeks.

"You have to get out of here," she stated, voice barely above a whisper. "It’s real. It’s all real."