Like a May-fly

It was a hot summer night and Phoebe A. Zabat, the youngest daughter of Athena and Eric Zabat waltzed around the area as if she owned the place. Their family was staying at their shack. They had always called it the shack even though it was in fact a cottage and a very nice one at that. Eric Zabat had created it in the First Wizarding War as a haven for his future family. At then they had only had their three eldest children: Anthea, Hera and Hermes. Since then Apollon, Phoebe and Hercules had been born, Hercules being the baby of the family.

Phoebe inhaled slowly and exhaled. She loved the surroundings at the cottage, especially at night when the fall was so close. She tiptoed around an anthill carefully, bending down to get a glance at what they were carrying. Phoebe, like the rest of her family, had been sorted into Ravenclaw. She was curious of many things and when she started wondering about something she became almost childlike. The inquisitiveness she had was that of a child; when she wanted to know something she asked in an innocent manner not thinking about whether the subject would bother someone at all. She had often found herself asking people questions about their personal lives and that had often resulted in her being disliked by her fellow students and adored by others.

She searched her pockets in hopes of finding some crumbs for the ants and she smiled idiotically, a single dimple appearing on her right cheek, as she pulled out a wrapper from a cookie. It had a few crumbs left in it. She kneeled down and gently piled the crumbs up as well as she could. Subsequently she stuck the wrapper into her pocket and once again began her escapade. There was one thing that Phoebe really loved about August. The May-flies had a tendency to hatch then. At least the ones in their area.

She finally found her place and she sat down on a tree stump that had been shaped into a comfortable shape. Her father had taught her the spell. It had been an invention of his own and he said that it would be useful if she ever needed to take a seat and there was nothing around. It was perfect for the show.

Sometimes she had to wait for hours, wondering whether they would hatch. She had already spent the past week going to that same spot and waiting until dawn to see whether the May-flies would hatch and dance like they did annually. There was something refined about how they danced around in their big groups. Phoebe had wished as a child that she could be a May-fly and just dance around with no worries at all. If only things were that simple.

However, this night she didn't have to wait long. No, the May-flies starting hatching nearly as soon as she sat down. Phoebe smiled fondly as one by one they began hatching and leaping up for the air. She had always hated bugs. There was something gross about a creature with more than four legs. But not the May-flies, they were majestic in everything they did. From the way they danced to the way they would gently set on her arm. Every action was special.

Before she knew it a whole batch had hatched and the May-flies were dancing around in an elusive manner. Phoebe gawked at them intrigued and mesmerized.

"What are you doing out here?" a cool voice asked her. Phoebe didn't need to turn around to guess who it was. Apollon's two friends had decided to join their family for the last few weeks before Hogwarts began again and since they had arrived they had brought many laughs to the family. Phoebe enjoyed their company as well although she didn't like the fact that one of them had followed her out to this sacred moment. Phoebe didn't bother replying. If he needed to know something he could just ask Apollon. It was funny, in some sense, that a girl like Phoebe wasn't talkative. She asked countless questions when she was curious but when it came to answering them she preferred to ignore the question and let it slide by. She never had enjoyed having people know what she was thinking and why. Allowing them to see what she wanted to know was enough. In her opinion, that was the biggest giveaway to her personality. The things that she wanted to learn about, the subjects that she excelled in. Those were the kind of things people were allowed to know about her and from those things they should be able to deduce what she was doing.

Phoebe's eyes began to water up as a May-fly sat on her finger. She gaped at its wings as if they were the most beautiful thing in the world. There was nothing that Phoebe found more beautiful than a May-fly. She could hear the grass rustle as the person sat beside her. She didn't look at him- she could do that any day. If she wanted then she could have the rest of her life to look at that face. She wasn't sure which one he was, George or Fred. At times she felt like there was no difference between them at all. She tittered as she recalled when she had first approached them, asking how she could tell them apart. They made fun of it and tried their best to confuse her, which they certainly had managed. After a few miserable attempts she had given up and decided that it was useless. They enjoyed vexing people and she didn't have patience to get the real answer from them. So it goes.

"Are you alright?" Phoebe considered ignoring yet another question but the May-fly flew away, signaling that she should give the boy a chance. Phoebe smiled diffidently as she turned her head towards her companion. Even if it was dark outside his red hair could easily be distinguished and the handsome features of his face were shadowed giving him a mysterious appearance. She nodded slowly, bringing her left hand up to wipe the tear that had rolled down her cheek moments earlier. Phoebe had always been a very emotional person and her parents had always said that she wore her heart on her sleeve. Ironically she seemed to be blind to other people's emotions.

"Which one are you?"
"George,"
"Really?"
"No, I'm Fred,"
"Be honest."
"Alright, alright, I'm George."
"Okay."
"Just kidding, I'm Fred."
"I'm not listening to this anymore."
"I'm Fred, I swear!"

A simple exchange of words and she didn't know which one he was but the conversation left her dazed. That was the one thing that bothered her about the twins. The fact that they always had a need to be the other and bewilder anyone got tiring after a while. She tried searching his expression for the truth but it was hopeless. All she could see was the twins. Not just one of them but both of them. They were so painfully alike. She turned her head away from him and she commenced gazing at the May-flies again. "You know, I wasn't lying, I'm not George," his voice was steady and there was no playfulness to it. Phoebe decided that he wasn't lying. "That's good." Her voice was dry and listless as if she didn't care which one he was at all.

"So, are you going to tell me what you're doing out here late at night, by yourself?" Phoebe sighed. She felt like a baby when he addressed her. It was like she couldn't be trusted to take care of herself or like she was a child who had decided to run away from home. Why did people have such a hard time realizing that she was old enough to make her own decisions? Despite her irritation she nodded leisurely before opening her mouth to speak. "I'm here to see the May-flies," it was a simple reason. Fred mugged; not understanding why a girl like her would ever care for things like May-flies. No one would really be able to understand fully. "I've been coming here every year since I was seven. Everyone at home knows about it so it's no big deal. I just want to see the May-flies hatch," she admitted, hoping that her words would help him at least being to comprehend why she would go through so much effort just to see some flies fly around. They don't even live for that long.

"Why do you want to see them hatch?" Fred was starting to sound as if he were genuinely interested. Phoebe beamed in satisfaction. She only liked answering questions when it was something she was interested in. "Because there's something… really beautiful about them." Her eyes didn't stray away from the May-flies for a single moment. "It's gorgeous… How they hatch. One by one they leave their former bodies in the water. I mean, you suddenly see a May-fly pop up from the water. Like there," she said, pointing at a spot close to them. Fred leaned forward and squinted his eyes until he was able to make out something that was peeking out of the water. They stared in silence as it seemed to move ever so slightly. Then, all of a sudden, a May-fly popped out of the water and began flying around, joining its brothers and sisters in an elegant dance.

"They are born and they go straight to each other and fly around. It's sort of like they're dancing," Phoebe mumbled, motioning towards something that looked like a cloud of May-flies. Fred stared, intrigued by the nature of these insects. "They are born, they dance, they reproduce and they die. They're life, in all its simplicity, is the most exquisite thing that nature has to offer. There's no fighting, no wars. Just… love and dancing," her tone was starting to sound as if it was a dream that she had always longed for and in a way it had been. She had grown up and trained to believe that Voldemort would return. She was supposed to believe that they would never be safe and the world was cruel. It certainly was true.

"I envy them then, if their lives are like that." Phoebe turned her head towards Fred and her expression was one of a completely flabbergasted child. It was like she had never imagined anyone else to find their lives so desirable. "You… envy them?" she asked in utter disbelief. Fred chuckled before nodding. "I do, as hard as that may seem to believe. They have no worries at all while we're stuck here in the midst of what could be a war." Phoebe gulped. That was what she feared the most- a war. She feared losing the ones she loved and fighting. She dreaded the day that she would have to fight and hurt someone. She was peaceful in nature and that had always been a very prominent trait. When her siblings teased her she never reacted in a violent way, instead she would just pout and be sour. Once when Fred had jinxed her in a playful manner she had refused to speak to any of the Weasleys for a whole month nor did she speak to Apollon who had played a big part in the whole matter.

His understanding felt like a revelation to Phoebe. Suddenly it was like some sort of fog was lifted. She wasn't the only one who was afraid of the return of Voldemort. She wasn't the only one who didn't want to watch everything crumble. In some inexplicable way the hands belonging to the two teenagers had come together and their fingers had entwined. It was comical that Phoebe was having such an intimate moment with one of her older brother's best friends but that didn't matter. The fact that he had understood her had been a good enough reason for her to show her true colors, even if it were for one night.

"We can be like them."

Phoebe faced Fred with a brow cocked. What was he talking about? There was no way they could ever be like the May-flies. He smirked as if he knew that she had no idea about what he was thinking. He stood up, gently pulling Phoebe up with him. "We can dance like, no with the May-flies," he said, pulling her closer to him until their bodies were thrust up against each other. There was hardly anything between them. He sniggered as Phoebe's cheeks turned red. Teasing had always been a second nature to him and even if this was different from his usual antics it was still interesting enough. "Come on now," he said, moving her left hand so that it was on his shoulder and he gently let go of her right hand and without any direction she placed it on his other shoulder. "At a girl," he teased before giving a short, hearty laugh. Phoebe bit her lip as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "See, now we're like them. Dancing," he said in a sultry voice.

If you ever asked her, Phoebe would never have been able to tell you when her heart had begun beating so rapidly nor could she be able to pinpoint the exact moment where her cheeks had started to feel hot. She was the kind of person who got lost in the moment and when it worth paying attention to she forgot everything else. But there was one thing she could tell you and that was the fact that it was the first time that she had ever been so close with a boy. She could tell you that Fred Weasley had been the first boy to make her heart beat fast and her cheeks turn red. That is, if Phoebe weren't such a private person.

There they stood, in a moment that they could never relive unless it was as a memory. They took small steps as they slowly went a few circles. Slow-dancing wasn't what the May-flies were doing but at least they were dancing. "You know, I've always thought you were pretty," Fred said, letting one of his hands wander up until he touched the golden blond hair which was a prominent feature in Phoebe's family. Phoebe tittered nervously. "You mean because I'm like my sisters, right?" Phoebe's sisters had always been unreachable for guys around her age because they were five and ten years older than Phoebe. She had the same soft figure as they had and the moss green eyes.

Fred shook his head. "No, not really. I don't think you're like them at all. You have this glow of… innocence that they don't have and when you smile you have this dimple, not two, but just one. It's very odd but also very beautiful at the same time…" Fred trailed off as he studied her. "And you have just a few freckles, spread across your nose. Neither Hera nor Anthea have freckles. You're unique." Phoebe managed to squeeze forth a timid smile as she looked up into Fred's eyes. The usual mischievous glint that he had in his eyes was long gone. Instead, Phoebe saw only honesty and sincerity. Fred smiled wearily as his mind stopped working and his body took over.

Before they knew it their lips had met. No words in the existence of the English language could begin to describe. The best possible word would be pure bliss. If it were like in the Muggle movies that Phoebe had seen as a child then fireworks would set off or beautiful romantic music would play in the background.

But when the body takes over things can go awry. Suddenly Fred tripped over a root of the tree and he fell into a shallow section of the water, taking Phoebe down with him. The two rubbed their heads because they had bumped during the fall. Phoebe mentally scolded herself for allowing things to go this far. It was going to be weird to face him in the morning when they weren't protected by their solitude or the veil of the night but that wasn't an issue now. The two laughed sheepishly as they stood up, wobbling in the process.

"Look at that, I'm all wet," Phoebe said, looking at her clothes. Her jeans were soaked through and her had splashes of water on it. Luckily Fred had been there to break her fall to some extent. "Me too," Fred said as he turned around and attempted to look at his behind. Phoebe gave a muffled laugh when she saw his state. The bottom of his pants was wet through and the pants he had been wearing were both wet and muddy. The lower section of his shirt was also dirty. "Hold on a second," Phoebe said before pulling out her wand. She quickly muttered the hot air spell which dried up their clothes.

"Scourigify," she muttered and after a while the mud on their clothes had disappeared. Fred turned around again and faced Phoebe with a grateful smile on his face. The two stared at each other for a moment, appreciating the intimacy that had just occurred between them. Neither of them had really taken the time to appreciate something so simple with someone else. Phoebe had always done it on her own and Fred had just raced passed the simple beauty of the things around him, too busy with his pranks and fun. "Thank you," he said as he closed the distance between the two of them once again. The closeness of their bodies had felt so right, like they belonged together, that there was no way he was going to let anything come between them. Phoebe had been thinking along those lines but she was far too bashful to act upon her own thoughts.

She had never really been timid or bashful around anyone before. She had never been afraid to do what came to her mind and that was the reason for her pursuit for things that were of an interest to her. This was the first time since she had been born that Phoebe had been afraid to do something and it frightened her more than the notion of an upcoming war. If she couldn't do what she wanted to do because something within her limited her actions how was she supposed to be able to survive in this life? The knot in her stomach made her excited as well as frightened. It was exhilarating, feeling a new kind of emotion that a single moment had brought forth.

"You're beautiful, like a May-fly," Fred said with a small May-fly sitting on his finger. He allowed a minute amount of distance to form between them as he showed her the May-fly that had, for a chance, sat itself upon his finger. They gazed at it in union, admiring its beauty before it flew away.

"Phoebe Artemis Zabat!" someone was shouting her name. They never worried about her unless it was… Phoebe looked around, realizing that somehow time had slipped away from them and the veil of the night no longer protected them from seeing each other in full light. She studied the redhead in front of her and smiled bashfully. She decided then that she wasn't going to let herself be stopped by something simply because she was afraid. She stood up on her tip toes and with a little cooperation from Fred their lips met once again. "I'll never forget this moment," she whispered in a way that implied that it would forever be their secret. The two began walking towards the cottage with a smirk of content on their faces. "Neither will I," he promised. As the cottage came into sight their fingers broke loose from the mess of tangle they had been in and Fred began running. "Last one in has to act as a House Elf for the rest of our stay here," he shouted before casting impedimenta.

"That's no fair! YOU CHEATED," Phoebe shouted as she stumbled back up and began running after Fred with a smile upon her face. He had taken her hint and they were going to keep it a secret. It didn't matter if they would ever be together again because that moment out by the water had been theirs. Theirs and the May-flies'.

________________________________________________________________________________________

"No!" Phoebe shouted as she heard an explosion. The fight had been long and strenuous and she hadn't planned one giving up just yet. It had been at least four years since the incident between her and Fred but that didn't mean that her feelings had died since then. In fact, they had continued meeting in secrecy on occasions and sharing moments that were incomparable to anything else she knew in the mortal world. Fred Weasley was the only person who understood her. That is why she was headed straight to where the explosion had been.

She had seen Fred there just moments before the explosion had sounded. "You can't Fred," she muttered to herself as she approached where Fred was laying, motionless. Percy had flung himself over the motionless body and Phoebe watches with her heart breaking into thousands of pieces. As soon as Percy dashes off towards a Death Eater Phoebe runs to the body and falls to her knees. There was no way that this was actually happening. It was unfair in every single way that Fred Weasley, the only one who understood her, was on the floor, motionless. She could hear sobs from others around her but soon enough her own sobs drowned out any other disturbance. She gently took his hand and tucked hers inside of it. His hand had always been big when compared to hers. Whenever he had taken it she had felt safe because she knew that he would be there to protect her. As long as he was around there was no need for anything else. Her body was shaking rhythmically as if it were singing a song of sorrow. Phoebe closed her eyes and recalled that night that had been theirs, so many years ago.

He was holding a May-fly and showing it to her. They had both admired its beauty. The unique beauty that belonged to a May-fly.

"You're beautiful, like a May-fly."

It had taken Fred months to confess that those weren't originally his words. Ernest Hemingway had once said those words to his future wife. Phoebe gasped for air before continuing to sob. They had talked about getting married after the war. It hadn't been set in stone but they had both liked the idea. She opened her eyes and stared at the only man who knew and could comprehend the beauty of a May-fly. She let go of his hand and stood up. "You will always be beautiful, like a May-fly," she said as she drew out her wand. Then she ran, she ran as far away as she could, drowning the memories in her anger.

That night Phoebe had conflicted pain upon someone for the very first time. She had spent the war healing and protecting her friends and loved ones. But Fred's death had had such an impact on her that she had done what she never could have done before. That night, she killed someone.

And with that, Phoebe had killed a part of herself- the innocence which Fred Weasley had been so fond of. If he was not there to love it, there was no reason for her to have it. She had finally finished her cycle. She had danced, love and now she had died.

Just like a May-fly.