To Be Happy Now

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Alaska looked up from her economics textbook, suddenly, as Irena's question was directed towards her, and she looked around. Maybe it was for Jessika?

"Me?" She pointed to herself. Irena nodded her head and said, "You're such a beautiful girl. You must have a boyfriend..."

"No," Alaska shook her head. "I don't have a boyfriend."

"Why not?" Jessika asked, also now intrigued by this conversation.

Alaska shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'm just not ready for it--especially now, I mean, what's the point, now?"

"What do you mean?" Jessika prodded.

"Well, I have cancer," She replied. "If I'm going to die so soon, what's the point of hurting him like that?"

"What a pessimistic way to look at things!" Max exclaimed, looking up from his newspaper. "Haven't I taught you anything? Having cancer is the best excuse to live life to fullest. I'm so old and yet I still party like I'm in college. I love my wife and my children--I'd never leave them just because I'm sick with lung cancer."

"But you already have your wife," Alaska countered. "It's not like I'm pushing away people that I already have."

"Let me ask you this," Irena said. "Do you have a potential boy? Or someone that you like, maybe?"

Her mind immediately pictured Austin, but she shook her head, trying to erase the thought.

"I--I don't know..." She answered, softly.

Jessika rolled her eyes. "How can you not know? Do you like him or do you not?"

"He's my brother's best friend," Alaska said, without thinking. Her eyes went wide, but that was an indicator that Austin indeed was a potential boyfriend for her. Excitement grew in the room as questions started bombarding her.

"What's his name?" Jessika asked.

"Austin."

"Do you like him?"

Alaska was stumped by this question. "Like I said, he's my brother's best friend. I've known him for forever until he decided to leave Arizona for two years. He just came back and now he wants to be my friend, all of a sudden."

"That's a good thing!" Max exclaimed.

"No, it's not," She shook her head. "I can't become close to him--not him, especially."

"Why not?" Irena asked, crossing her arms.

"Because he already lost somebody," Alaska answered, simply. "That would just be so cruel if I did the same thing to him."

"Listen," Max said, leaning as far forwards as he possibly could without unhooking the tubes. "I highly doubt that if this Austin kid knew that his girl would die, he would never take back any moments he spent with her. You have to cherish every moment you have left, Alaska. You can't just hole yourself away--thats not what this wake up call is about."

Alaska was stumped. The pessimist inside of her was ready to retort back with something less clever than what Max just said to her, but a knock on the door made all of them look up.

It was Jamison--Max's son that she had met at his barbecue.

"Jamison!" Jess exclaimed. Alaska looked at her and saw the girl was obviously head over heels for the boy. He was a good three years older than her, but she saw it in his eyes too. He smiled at everyone and especially to Alaska, who was his new friend, he waved.

"What're you doing here, kid?" Max asked. "I told your mother to come pick me up in an hour."

Jamison nodded. "I know, I just wanted to see how everyone was doing."

Alaska rolled her eyes when she saw that he sat down specifically next to Jessika. He smiled at her and said, "Hey, Jess."

"Hi," Jessika blushed.

Irena snapped her fingers and brought Alaska's attention back to her.

"See?" She jerked her head. "Jessika and Jamison--your first prime example."

"But they're not dating, are they?" Alaska asked, glancing back to the two of them, who were in deep conversation. They were speaking in hushed tones but she was surprised neither of them were listening.

"Not yet," Max snorted. "He's waiting for her sixteenth birthday to bust a move. I've taught my son well."

Alaska rolled her eyes and just before she was about to rebuttal, Max stopped her and said, "My son might lose me and Jessika, and look--he's still here. Don't you think Austin would do the same?"

"But Jamison hasn't lost you yet. You can assume anything you want, but once it happens, and either you or Jess are gone, then you never know what can those who love you," Alaska answered, smartly.

"We're never going to get through to her," Irena muttered to Max. Alaska rolled her eyes again and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm thinking rationally. I don't want to hurt him."

Just before Max and Irena could even say anymore, it was time for Alaska to leave. The nurse unhooked her tubes and she waved goodbye to the four people left in the room and she made her way out of the hospital, a sick feeling in her stomach.

And not because of the chemo.

Austin Gibbs was starting to do things to her.