To Be Happy Now

She's fine, dude. I asked her myself. Austin rolled his eyes, texting back his best friend. John wouldn't shut up about his concern for Alaska, but Austin believed Alaska's word over John's.

Listen, you're my best friend and her boyfriend. My girlfriend is her best friend. Hayley isn't saying anything to me about it and I really think you should check it out. I saw her there again yesterday. John texted back, almost immediately.

Austin furrowed his eyebrows. Maybe it was a little fishy?

But Alaska said so herself that she was fine and that she just went in for check ups and whatnot. Why would she go again?

Austin looked up from his phone onto the road in front of him and changed lanes. He was on his way to Ricky's house anyway just to hang out. Maybe Ricky would have some answers?

It was just to ease John's conscience. Austin didn't want to worry to much because well, women always had risks and things they needed check ups for. Alaska was no different.

He arrived at Ricky's place and slammed the car door behind him.

They were going to hang out–probably watch the Suns game, play video games, and drink a lot of beer. The usual guy stuff that he missed so much in the two years that he was gone. It wasn't really the same since Ricky never truly forgave Austin for leaving, but it was close.

"Hey, man."

Ricky came out of the kitchen and threw him a beer, which he barely caught.

"What's up, Gibbs?" Ricky plopped down on the couch.

Austin joined him and Ricky turned on the TV. The X-Box was already plugged in and NBA Live was on. The two of them picked up a controller and started playing.

Austin internally debated on what to say to Ricky. Was Alaska okay? Was John just being stupidly paranoid? He lost an entire game thinking about that and Ricky cheered for himself and went into the kitchen, making Austin set down the controller and stand up.

He walked over to Alaska's room at the end of the hall. He felt himself smile, remembering the times when they were younger and he would sneak in just to see what it was like to be inside Ricky's little sister's room.

He was always jokingly creepy with Alaska but that was around Ricky, only. By the time the girl turned sixteen, he really thought that she was beautiful. She was shy and reserved, especially around him.

And look at them now.

Austin sat down on Alaska's perfectly made bed. Her room was purple–her favorite color–and it didn't really have much in it. Mostly because it was so small, but also because Alaska didn't like clutter-y things. She liked to keep things neat and orderly and that was one thing that he loved about her.

It felt weird that Alaska Sumner, of all people, was the girl that brought Austin out of the gutter. Even though he cut off all contact with her for two years, he felt himself drawn back to Tempe, Arizona because of everything he left behind. His family, his friends, the love of his life...he couldn't stand the thought of being so close to Kat Larson's dead body but he knew he had to face it someday. He couldn't hide from it forever.

Though he didn't tell his friends about Kat, at first, they eventually found out, especially with Ricky in their group now. They were all shocked and gave him a pity party for a couple weeks before everyone started to realize that Austin was moving on.

He missed Kat like crazy. His first ever serious girlfriend that he fell so hard in love with that he was left broken and unfixable. Austin would never be over Kat Larson. Never. She wasn't someone that anyone could forget–and especially not Austin. He wished that Kat was still alive but he knew that there was no way he could get through life wallowing in misery.

That was where Alaska came in. Austin knew that he would eventually have to see the Sumner's again one day, but he didn't think it would be so soon. Seeing Alaska on Mill that day was so shocking but it was a sign–a sign that he was ready to go back to that old life again. He got it all back, eventually. His old life. The life that brought him to Kat Larson in the first place, the life that got him his best friends, the life that changed him.

It all started with Alaska Sumner.

"Where'd you go?" Ricky came into Alaska's room, seeing Austin sitting on her bed and looking around the room.

"Sorry," Austin muttered. "I was just looking around."

Ricky leaned against the doorframe and stared at his best friend.

"You really like her, don't you?"

Austin felt a smile on his face and he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not in love with her...yet, but, I do like her."

"What about Kat?"

Austin sighed. "Everyone keeps asking me this question." He swiveled his body around to face Ricky.

Ricky smirked. "Well, it's not like you had the best break up with Kat. She's–she's dead. A lot of people don't get over that too easily."

"I'll never get over her, Ricky," Austin said, seriously. "I will never get over Kat. I just need to move on with my life. I can't be stuck in one place for forever. For two fucking years, it was like I died with Kat. And now, I'm starting to be alive again–with my music, with Alaska..."

Ricky sighed. "Of all the people you coulda fell for, it had to be my sister..." He shook his head, changing the subject.

Austin laughed. "This again?"

"My baby sister!" Ricky exclaimed. Austin rolled his eyes and got up from the bed and passed Ricky on the way out. "She was thirteen when you first met. And if you say that you fell in love with her at that age, I am kicking your ass."

Austin chuckled and shook his head.

The thought of John's texts and his worry about the hospital resurfaced in his mind. What if something was really wrong and she became the second Kat in his life? It wasn't really normal for someone to visit the hospital so often...

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"When is Alaska coming home?" He asked, leaning his elbows against the kitchen counter.

"Now, I guess," Ricky shrugged, following him in. "Her last class ends at like, three."

"Okay, I've already asked Alaska this," Austin said, letting out a breath. "And I'm mostly doing this because John is going crazy–but is she okay?"

Ricky slowly put down the drink in his hand and he looked up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"John said that he saw her at the hospital twice. And he's kinda freaking out especially since he knows about Kat now, and he thinks that something may be wrong with Alaska...she's okay, right?" Austin was starting to get nervous–hoping that she was okay.

"What did Alaska say?" Ricky asked.

"She said that she was fine."

Ricky closed his eyes and he sighed. Austin's stomach dropped–that wasn't a good sign.

"Ricky...?"

He opened his eyes again and he said, "I think you should talk to Alaska about this."

"What's wrong with her?" Austin asked, frantic.

"Austin, you should really hear it from her than me," Ricky said. "She said that she wanted to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Austin's mind was running haywire. John was right–something was wrong? What could be wrong? What did she have that was so brutal that she couldn't have told him before? And how long did she know? How long was she keeping it a secret?

What the hell did Alaska have?

"I can't tell you," Ricky replied, as calmly as he possibly could in comparison to Austin. "It's Alaska's job to tell, despite the fact that she's my sister."

Suddenly, the door slammed. Both Austin and Ricky spun around and Alaska stood in front of them, holding her book bag over her shoulder. She looked completely exhausted–as if she were ready to fall asleep at any second and she was staring up at them with bloodshot eyes.

Austin was seeing it now. She looked sick. Why didn't he see it before? Was it the honeymoon phase that was getting to him? He didn't see what was really going on but instead what he wanted to see?

"Austin?" Alaska sensed something was wrong.

"Alaska, tell him." Ricky said, quietly.

Fear shot through her eyes and she realized that now was the time. Austin was staring at her, frightened as to what she was about to tell him.

"Tell me what?!" Austin repeated.

Tears sprung up in her eyes. She shook her head and she whispered, "I wanted to tell you for so long...I never had a chance to..."

"What is it?!" Austin gritted his teeth. He couldn't wait any longer.

"I should have told you, I'm so sorry..." Alaska whispered.

"Alaska!"

"I have cancer!"

Alaska said it so fast that it took Austin a while to understand. But once he realized that she said those three words that he wished would never be the three words he would have to hear, he just froze.

"Austin, I–" Alaska started, but she didn't know what to say.

Austin regained himself and he repeated those words in his head again. I have cancer. I have cancer. I have cancer...

He glanced back at Ricky and then at Alaska again and he shook his head. She whispered his name again but he brushed past her.

"Austin, please!" Alaska exclaimed.

"Don't!" His voice boomed once he opened the door. "Don't talk to me." He said, harshly. He shook his head again and he slammed the door shut behind and he left.

He just left.