To Be Happy Now

As the days progressed, everything looked darker. Not just literally, but metaphorically. Sure, the weather was acting strange and it was raining all week long, but everyone looked sadder. Ricky was quiet a lot, especially whenever Alaska entered the room. Hayley, for some reason, would come over to see him and they would be locked in his room for hours and when she would leave, finally, she would say something quick to Alaska because she didn't want her to see the tears. Her mom came over once a week and brought food and medication she thought would help with the back and abdominal pain, worry lines permanent on her forehead. Her father still refused to see her.

Austin was the only person who was trying his best. They still have their move nights every Friday at his house and she would sleepover, waking up in his arms every time. One time, though, she did catch him in the kitchen, staring at absolutely nothing while holding her necklace in his hands.

"Austin?" she asked, when she walked in. He jumped and looked at her, giving her a smile.

"Hey, Alaska..."

"Why are you holding my necklace?" Alaska asked, pointing to the gold necklace that her father gave her for her birthday.

"Your dad gave you this on your fifteenth birthday," Austin said, holding it up. "I remember because your dad made Ricky buy it, but then he had to do something so he made me buy it."

"Really?" Alaska asked, surprised.

Austin nodded his head and handed it back to her.

"I guess it was my first real connection with you. I bought you your most prized possession."

She placed it around her neck and smiled at him, opening his fridge and taking out orange juice. Austin was watching her intently, like he was afraid something would happen.

That happened a lot with him. He was too cautious sometimes.

Alaska hoped that Max, Irena, and Jessika would be a different story. They always knew how to cheer her up, so she went into chemotherapy, expecting to feel happy when she left.

Alaska entered the room and it didn't feel like how it used to. All three of them gave off an aura–Alaska especially felt it on her first day. It made her feel calm and collected through the whole thing and she appreciated it so much. She didn't feel that aura when she walked in right then.

All three of them looked so sick.

The nurse hooked Alaska in and everyone was silent. Jessika was quietly doing her homework, not even looking up when she walked in. Irena was crocheting but slower than usual–she had bags under her eyes. Max was reading, like he usually did, but Alaska caught him nod off a few times.

"Why is everyone so quiet?" Alaska asked in the open.

"I'm sorry, dear," Irena gave her a weary smile. "I've just been feeling exhausted lately."

"I still have a cold from last week. I might've given it to you all. Sorry," Jessika piped up, her voice sounding hoarse.

"Max?" Alaska asked. Max fell asleep and he jerked awake.

"What?"

"Sorry," Alaska felt guilty for waking him up. "I was just wondering if you were okay. You just look really tired and exhausted."

Max gave her a smile. "I'm fine, Alaska. No need to worry!"

The time went by rather slowly and even though Alaska pointed out how quiet it was, it went back to the same silence. Alaska played Temple Run on her phone to pass the time by and played music in her headphones to make some noise at least.

She said goodbye to her friends and drove home. On the way home, she passed by the cemetery. The cemetery that Kat Larson was buried in. She didn't really notice it but she stopped her car and stared at the hundreds of tombstones. So many dead people...

The shrill ring from her phone made her jump and her heartbeat sped up to a million miles per hour. It was only Ricky.

"Hello?" she said into the receiver, putting her hand on her heart.

"Hey, listen, I'm stuck at work and mom wanted me to pick up a microwave at the house. Could you do it for me?"

"A microwave?" Alaska repeated.

"Yeah. I sorta broke it last night." Ricky admitted. "The new one is at mom and dad's and I'd really appreciate it if you could pick it up for me. You're not still at chemo, are you?"

Alaska shook her head, even though Ricky couldn't see her. "No. I'm driving home right now. I'll go pick it up."

"Sweet. Thanks, Alaska."

Alaska hung up the phone and started to drive away from the cemetery, and back to her old house. She hadn't been there in a while, especially since she started school and had chemotherapy to go to. The house was in Chandler, so it was a little farther away from everything else.

When she arrived, she used her housekey to get in and called out,

"Mom?!"

Silence.

Alaska looked around for a microwave. She entered the kitchen where she and Ricky ate their meals and where she first met Austin in the first place and looked around. She found the microwave sitting next to the sink with a note on it. She picked up the note and read:

Ricky and Alaska,

Don't break this one, too.

Love, Mom

Alaska rolled her eyes and chuckled. She picked up the rather heavy microwave and was about to leave the house when she heard a crash and then a yelp of pain. She stopped and turned around, facing the direction of the basement.

"Dad?" she said, even though he couldn't hear her.

Alaska set the microwave down on the ground and she made her way down to the basement, calling for her father, whom she hadn't seen since she found out she had cancer. Her father was never one to be emotional and he hid it by indulging himself into his workshop.

"Dad?" Alaska stepped into the basement and looked around for her father. There was so much wood everywhere and dust in the air that it was a little hard to see. She found her father, crouched on the ground, and blood gushing out of his hand.

He looked up at her, wincing from the pain and squinting in the light to look at her.

"Alaska?"