To Be Happy Now

Alaska felt extremely uncomfortable.

She almost expected Austin to be alone, and to have asked her to go somewhere and talk. He actually did ask to her talk, before looking her up and down, clearly impressed, but he invited his gigantic group of friends along as well.

So, Alaska sat sandwiched between two guys she couldn't remember the names of at Denny's with a menu in her hand. She didn't even feel like eating.

"Alaska is, um, one of my friends from, uh, here." Austin explained, his words coming out broken to her, but not to his friends.

"How long have you lived here, Alaska?" Someone asked her. His name was Pat...?

She looked up and said, "I've lived here my entire life."

"Really?" Someone else inputted.

She ignored all the talk around her as she stared at the menu. She wished she could just leave. However, the fact that it was Austin Gibbs in front of her, she stayed put.

"She's fucking hot, dude." Alaska heard someone whisper to Austin.

He smirked. His eyes flickered towards her every few seconds. It must have been incredibly weird seeing her, too. She was probably bringing back the memories of his past; Alaska wished they were alone.

"Hi, what can I get for ya?" The waitress asked, pulling out her notepad.

"Hi there," Austin said, charmingly. "I'd like the cheese omelette."

Alaska resisted the urge to gag at how the charm just dripped off of his words. Even the other guys around her spoke in a different tone, as if they were going to take that girl outside and have sex with her against the wall.

Austin Gibbs was wearing a mask, and Alaska felt like she was the only one who could see right through it.

"And for you, miss?" The woman asked.

"Oh, just a milkshake." Alaska said.

"Really?" The guy next to her said. "What? Are you anorexic or something?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm not hungry."

The woman took back the menus, leaving them all to have to start conversations without the topic of food.

Didn't Austin tell his friends about Kat? They all acted as if life was good and nothing could bring them down. Even only two years after a death, it's still hard on some people. Austin seemed like the person to never forget.

"How have you been, Alaska?" Austin asked, across from her.

"Good," She said.

"Yeah? What have you been doing? You were a senior, last I saw you..." Austin urged.

Alaska replied, "I'm a sophomore at ASU."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Business and marketing." She nodded, with a smile. She wanted to be the CEO of her own company. Those were her big dreams.

It suddenly got harder to reach them.

"What about you?" She asked. "How have you been since - "

"I'm great." Austin cut in. "I'm fine. Everything is good."

"Sure about that?" Alaska raised an eyebrow.

"What the fuck are you two talking about?" The guy on her right asked, laughing, as he observed their conversation.

"Nothing, Jared." Austin said. "I'm fine, Alaska." His attention back on her. "I'm a musician now. Just released an album a few months ago."

"Yeah!" The same guy who called her 'hot' (John?) said, to the right of Austin, clapping his back. "He toured with us over the summer."

"These guys are in a band." Austin explained. "John, Jared, Pat, Kennedy, and Garrett. They're called The Maine."

Alaska nodded, trying to look interested. "That's cool."

The lady came back with their food, and her milkshake, and as she watched the boys around her dive into their food, she took small sips of her shake. She still felt sick to her stomach.

"Are you okay, Alaska?" Austin asked, noticing how uncomfortable she looked.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Alaska still didn't understand the facade he was putting on. It was as if Kat Larson didn't even exist to him - which was completely untrue because she knew for a fact that he loved her. She heard it through her bedroom wall.

Austin gave her an uncertain look, but Alaska brushed it off. She just wanted to get out of there.

Her phone buzzed again as talks about something upcoming tour started amongst the group of musicians she was sitting with. It was Ricky again.

Austin peered over at her as she answered her phone, making sure he heard it.

"Hi, Ricky."

Their eyes locked together, and Alaska could practically see the memories flash before his eyes. All the time he and Ricky stole her dad's beer, left in the middle of the night to get wasted or high, run into her on the way to the bathroom...

"Come home, Alaska. You have school tomorrow." Ricky said, tiredly.

"Okay, I'm leaving now." Alaska hung the phone up, without taking her eyes off of Austin's, who had an uncomfortable expression on his face.

"You're leaving?" Garrett asked. "Aw, we were just getting to know you."

Alaska stood up. "Sorry - maybe another time?"

She left the diner, breathing in relief that she was out of there, even if she didn't really like what she saw in there. The guys may have been somewhat nice to her, but she didn't like Austin. He wasn't real.

"Alaska!"

Austin's footsteps trailed behind her but she kept walking until she reached her car, ways away from the diner.

"Alaska, wait!"

She turned around.

He stopped in front of her, panting. Alaska waited for him to speak but he couldn't form words. It was like he didn't know what to say anymore.

"I'm--I'm sorry." Austin panted. "I just--I had to leave, believe me, Alaska."

"It wouldn't have hurt to give us a call." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

He nodded his head. "I know."

"Do you?" Alaska asked. "I mean, it was like Kat didn't exist, Austin. It's like you forgot everything."

"Don't you dare say that." Austin growled. "I loved her."

"Then why don't you act like it?" She crossed her arms, cocking an eyebrow. "Do your friends back there even know?"

"No, they don't."

"Why not?"

Austin threw his hands up in frustration. "Because I'm trying to move on, Alaska! I'm trying to survive in this world without the girl I fell in love with. It's like everything here is a fucking reminder! If I tell the guys, then I won't be able to move on."

Alaska uncrossed her arms and she opened her car door, throwing her bag in.

"What? You're not going to say anything?" He asked, watching her.

"I don't have anything to say." Alaska shrugged.

Austin sighed, running his hands through his hair. Alaska watched the distressed boy in front of him, unsure of what to do. She didn't really understand what Austin was going through, so she couldn't have known what it was like, nor tell him what to do.

She sighed and said, "As long as you're in town for a while, just - just swing by. Ricky must have given you our new address, in one of the millions of calls he's sent you in the first few months you've been gone. He really misses you, even if he might not seem like it."

Austin nodded his head. "Of course."

Alaska got in her car and started the ignition. Austin watched her leave and she saw him in her rear view mirror as she drove off.

The man she saw right then was the one she was the expecting the entire time. His disheveled hair and exhausted face gave it away.

The unmasked Austin Gibbs.