Show My Cards, Gave You My Heart

I haven't seen Alexander Gaskarth in almost two months.

It was killing me. All I could do was lay on the guest bedroom bed in my mom's house, just thinking about him and Madi. I missed those two terribly, but then I'm reminded that I did this to myself. I felt better about everything now, I was just scared that Alex wouldn't want me back.

I laid there, flipping through channels and found MTV playing music videos. I caught the end of a Katy Perry video for her song 'I Kissed A Girl.' I shuttered, remembering the night she accidentally kissed me. Then another came on from a band called Metro Station, who was supposed to actually tour with All Time Low this fall. Their music wasn't that bad.

After that video, one came on that caught my eye. The beginning started off with a talk show host talking, introducing the topic of her show. Then a familiar man walked out with a unsure look on his face. Oh my fuck. It progressed on to a live performance of the band. It was crazy how different everybody looked within the time I've been away. Alex's hair was lighter brown again and longer, Jack no longer had skunk hair, Rian.. well Rian still looked like Rian, then Zack's hair was curly.

I watched the video closely, admiring how sexy Alex looked in the video. It made me miss him more than I already was. I was laughing so hard at the video, I couldn't breathe. The boys' music videos were never serious. I watched as fights broke out at the end of the video. Jack slamming a plant into Alex's face. Alex definitely pretending to knock out Zack, when we all knew that was bull. It was the other way around. But it depended on how angry Alex was though.. Then he might do damage.

I desperately wanted to go back to Baltimore now. I began considering it, but yet I was scared. I picked up my phone and checked their Myspace for tour dates. September 27th. I then scrolled through my contacts to find Brooklyn's name. I think I could trust her enough to help me with this without telling Alex. I wanted things to come out into a surprise.

I waited for her to answer. It rang and rang and went to voice mail. "Dammit!" I cursed. Who else? Jack, Rian, Zack, Kay, or just contact Alex himself.. No. I called Zack this time, since I know he takes things calmly.

"Hello?" he answered, a little worried to talk to me.

"Zack, is Alex around?" I calmly asked.

"He is. But he's napping with Madalynn."

I sighed in relief. "Zack, can you do me a huge favor?"

"Anything if it involves getting you and Alex back together. He's not the same anymore Haley." he said slowly.

"It's fully a hundred percent about that. Can you hook me up with three tickets to your show tonight?"

"I can do that." he laughed.

"Can you also manage to get Alex out somewhere? Like have him take Madi to a park or something? I wanna talk to him alone first before I see anyone else.. if you know what I mean."

"I understand. No one really wants to see your beautiful reunion that starts as kissing then leads to steamy sex." he snorted. "But it's all done. I'll have Brooke help me out. She's the one to get Alex out though.. she's more assertive."

"But your the muscles! Brooklyn is smaller than me." I giggled. "Thanks Zack."

"No problem kiddo!" he laughed. "I think Alex will be stoked to see you. Same with Madi."

"That's a relief. I figured he hates me."

"No. He doesn't hate you. He's actually been so down, he's wrote songs for a new album. They're all too much about love than hate. It's obvious."

"Okay, well I need to go. I need to convince my posse to go."

"Who might that be?"

"My brother Jordan and my sister Ali." I took a deep breath. "Thanks again Zack."

"No problem. Bye." he said, hanging up.

Now I had to convince them to go. I got up from the bed and raced into the living room where I found Ali, my mom, and Jordan. "Hey guys." I smiled, setting down.

My mother gave me a strange look. "You seem.. different."

"Well I'm about to get everything fixed. Hey Jordan, hey Ali, wanna go to a All Time Low concert?"

Ali's eyes got huge. "OMFG! Yes!" she screamed. "I need to get dressed!"

"Hurry, we need to leave. Jordan, you up for driving?" I asked my adopted brother, who was just a year younger than me.

"Hell yeah." he stood up. "I'm gonna go get ready for this too."

"Okay." I nodded. I turned my gaze to my mom, seeing she didn't look too happy.

"Haley, you're going back to that?"

"Yes Mom." I nodded. "I made a promise to Alex that I'd return and I think it's finally time. I can't handle it anymore. I need to be with him where I belong."

"I don't want you to get hurt again.." she sighed, shaking her head.

"Mom, this happened along time ago and it was kinda out of my control. Just finding out so long afterwards is what hurt. Alex, he would never do anything to hurt me like that again. And I have a child to take care of."

"I know." she said, looking up to see Ali and Jordan in the room again. "Be safe you three."

I nodded, nearly bolting for the door of the apartment in this building on Lexington Avenue. Ali, Jordan, and I ran down the two flights of stairs to get to Jordan's new Honda Civic. When we got in, I turned on So Wrong, It's Right just to hear Alex's voice. Something I've missed.

We arrived in Baltimore around four PM. I was shaking in excitement as I gave Jordan direction to Brooklyn and Zack's apartment that they now owned. I took Ali and Jordan to the door and knocked lightly, waiting for someone to answer the door.

"Haley!" Zack cheered as he opened the door to let us in.

"Zacky!" I laughed, giving him a hug. "It's been awhile."

"It has." he nodded. "Brooklyn is in the kitchen."

I nodded and took off to their kitchen, finding Brooklyn making a sandwich. "Bitch, making me a sandwich?" I giggled, attacking her in a hug.

"Haley!" she squealed. "Okay, so Alex is at the park with Madalynn. If you were smart, you'd go now. He just left ten minutes ago."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. I walked into the living room where Ali and Jordan were awkwardly sitting in silence with Zack. "Jordan, give me your keys."

"Ugh, bitch." he rolled his eyes, throwing me the keys to his car.

"Queer." I rolled my eyes. "Stay here with Zack and Brooke. I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going?" Ali asked.

"Going to save my relationship with my husband." I confidently smiled, walking to the door.

"Good luck!" I heard behind me. I ran out to Jordan's car and got in. I was now worried what to expect when I got to Alex. As I drove, a song he wrote ages ago came through the speakers.

"There's a look in your eye and it's screaming goodbye, now it tears me apart just to look at the sky and I hate to watch you cry. I hate to watch you cry!"

I almost started to cry. The lyrics were so relevant to how things were right now. I held control, driving to the park I knew I'd find him at. I had a mini heart attack when I saw the Range Rover in the parking lot. I parked Jordan's Honda and get out, slipping my heels off and threw them into the seat. I smoothed out my skirt as I searched the large playground for him and Madi.

Low and behold, there stood my Alex pushing our daughter in the swing. I broke into a run, rushing over the bridge that led to the playground. I didn't bother to call out, but I had something different in mind. I was going to attack him in a giant hug.

I got closer to him, pushing my arms to wrap around him when I made impact. Instead, our bodies made a loud smack and he tumbled backwards, bringing me to the ground with him. He groaned and looked down in anger, his eyes lightening up when they caught mine. "Haley?! Baby?!" he asked, a large smile appearing on his flawless face.

"Alex!" I excitedly said, adjusting my positioning to see his face better. He pulled me into a kiss that caught me off guard, but I didn't care. I was extremely happy.

"Baby, it's good to see you." he said, pushing himself up. I attached myself to him with no intentions on ever letting go again.

"It's good to see you too. I've missed you." I admitted, running my hands down his chest. I turned, seeing Madi looking at us like we were insane. "Baby!" I squealed, picking her up into my embrace.

"Mmm!" she hummed.

"I taught her that." he smirked, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Oh?" I smiled.

"Mhm."

"She's gotten so big.." I looked at her, seeing that she looked like a normal three month old. "What's your daddy been feeding you?"

Alex snorted and shook his head. "She has a love for applesauce and strawberry banana sauce. Plus her formula."

"You've done a good job."

"I've had a lot of help." he laughed. "Jack, Rian, Zack, and Brooke have helped me out tons. They kept me together."

"Did she drive you insane?" I smiled, kissing her forehead.

"No, it was you." he sighed, nuzzling his face into my hair.

"Oh.." I quietly said. "Alex, I'm sorry."

"I kinda had it coming, but I wish it didn't happen that way." he frowned. "Will you do something with me tonight?"

"Depends what that something is."

"I was hoping maybe after the show, I could take you out to.. win your heart again?" he stuttered. He was nervous now.

"Alex, you've always had my heart." I rolled my eyes. "But I'd like that. I shall put on my best heels." I smiled, setting Madi back into the swing.

"Well it's a proof of my love then."

"Okay." I smiled. "I really don't wanna do this but I have to get back.."

"To New York?!" he frowned, looking down at his feet.

"No! To Zack and Brooke's apartment. I have extra visitors with me and I think it's a tad awkward to be sitting with strangers you've never met before.. right?" I giggled. "I'm back for good, Alex."

"Good." he laughed, picking Madi up from the swing again. "I'll walk you to your car?"

"It's Jordan's. I stole it for this occasion."

"Well, I'll go to Zack and Brooke's to bother you and them. I mean, if you want me there."

"No, you mean if Zack and Brooke want you there." I smiled, slowly walking along side of him. "I want you there."

"Okay. It's about her nap time anyway so I think this'll work." he said, his voice getting high pitched. I looked up, seeing Madi with a tiny fist-full of his brown hair.

"Baby, don't pull hair." I gently told her, prying her hand away from his hair. "Especially Daddy's. You'll make him cry."

"Shut up." he narrowed his eyes at me. I watched as Madalynn knocked his beanie off his head in frustration, giggling in delight. "You're going to be the death of me, kiddo." he shook his head, picking up his beanie. He pulled the door open to Jordan's car for me, awkwardly putting his arm around me.

"I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay." he said, kissing my forehead, then a small kiss on my lips. "I love you." he hesitated, kissing me once again.

"I love-" I started, but I was cut off by Madalynn making strange noises. She was panting like a dog. "Is she panting?" I busted up laughing.

"I think.." he laughed along with me. "I can't explain this, but she's been doing this for a couple of days. Just randomly, she'll start panting."

I shook my head and smiled. "Anyway, I love you too."

"All panting distractions aside, we'll see you later. Bye baby."

"Okay." I nodded. "Bye." I waved, getting into the car. He shut the door for me and walked to the Range Rover, strapping Madalynn into her car seat. I turned the car on and quickly put it in reverse to leave.

I was happy Alex didn't give up on me and he's taking me straight back in. Now I was curious what he was possibly going to do with me after his show. I think it would disappoint him a little that I wouldn't be hanging out with him backstage during the show. Brooklyn and I made plans to stay in the crowd for tonight.

After tonight, I was back though. Forever and always. My intentions were never to give Alex up because of something stupid. But it was over and done with.. Now I regretted walking out in the first place. Fuck my life.

I got back to their apartment and slowly walked to their door. I pushed it open and entered, expecting awkward silence on the other side. Instead, I found Ali, Zack, and Jordan playing guitars and Brooke playing a Nintendo Wii. "How'd it go?" Zack asked, looking up from his guitar. "Are you and Gayscarf back together?"

"I tackled him.." I shyly said, listening to him laugh. "Shut up.. And I think everything's good."

"You think?" Brooklyn asked, pausing her game.

"He's taking me out tonight too."

"Oh yeah, you're definitely back on then." she giggled.

"Hails, you look exhausted." Zack said. "Go lay down for a bit before the show so you're not completely worn out.. if Gaskarth doesn't do that before." he winked. I flipped him off and walked down the hallway to their guest bedroom. I crawled into the full sized bed and shut my eyes, waiting for sleep to come. But I heard noises down the hallway.

"Where's Haley?" I heard Alex's voice.

"Guest bedroom." Brooke answered him. "Keep your clothes on."

"Fuck off." I heard him laugh outside the door. The door squeaked open and shut and Alex walked in, crawling into the bed with me and wrapped his arms around me. Oh God how I've missed this.. "Hi." he mumbled.

"They better not be in there fucking." I heard Zack down the hall, followed by a few 'ews'.

"Hi." I giggled, snugging closer to him. "Where's Madi?"

"She's with my parents. They asked to watch her tonight." he shrugged. "Up for faking them all out?"

"Moaning?"

"Yes." he smirked, clearing his throat. "Moan."

"Mmm!" I groaned. "Alex!"

"Oh baby."

"Alex, faster!" I giggled, running my mouth into his shoulder to muffle my giggles. "Harder!"

I heard the door open, and there stood Zack. "You guys are fucking sick." he shook his head, closing the door behind him.

"It's so good to be back together again." he smiled, kissing me to shut me up.

"It is." I smiled, kissing him again. "What took you so long to get here?"

"I had to take Jack to the hospital.. Something's wrong with Kay. That's all I know." he sighed. "Then I took Madalynn to my parent's house and stopped home for clothes to wear on stage, then something nice to wear for you."

"What's wrong with Kay?" I sat up, looking at him in concern.

"I don't know baby." he answered. "Jack made it sound-" he was cut off by his phone ringing. He pulled it out and looked at the contact. "Jack."

I nodded and laid back down, trying my best to listen to the conversation. "Dear God, let her be okay." I whispered to myself.

"How is she?" Alex asked him. I heard Jack's voice on the other end, but I couldn't make any of it out. "Seriously? Shit! Okay man, I'll see you at the show then. Later."

"What's wrong with her?" I quickly asked, not giving him time to hang up.

"She's got a few broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a broken arm. She was in a car accident earlier and the collision was pretty bad." he frowned. "Her and the boys are okay though."

"Oh thank God."

"I'm glad she's okay. You should get your sleep, love."

I took a deep breath and nodded in agreement, resting my head against his chest. With silence in the room now, I could go to sleep.
______________________________________________

I woke up a few hours later, still in Alex's arms. I yawned and sat up, blinking many times to make the leftover sleepiness go away. "Hi." I said to him, who was looking up at the ceiling deep in thought.

"Hello." he said, switching his view to the ceiling to my eyes. "Nice nap?"

"Mhm. What time is it?"

"About six. You should probably go get ready. Matt's probably going to chew me out for being late, but I don't care." he smirked. "Everyone's already gone. Brooke left you some clothes."

"Okay." I took a deep breath and pushed myself up, walking to the chair that the clothes she left for me were. I picked up the jeans and pushed my legs through the holes, pulling them up under my skirt. I decided to be funny and take off my tank top and throw it at Alex since he was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought again. I picked up the black shirt that was laid out and slipped that on, looking down to read the name of my husband's band in big yellow letters. I put on the slip on Vans also, and turned around to reveal my outfit to Alex. "Tada."

He laughed and shook his head. "Nice."

"What?"

"It's amazing that you're wearing a shirt with my band's name on it." he smirked and stood up from the bed. "I don't know, but lets go before I get in even more trouble."

I nodded and quickly fled Brooke and Zack's apartment with him. We got into the Range Rover and started our Journey to the venue. "So you play last right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because Brooke and I were going to stand in the crowd and watch the show. Then hopefully push our way to the front during your set."

"Oh. Well, that sounds fierce." he laughed. "I'd come with you, but I think that'd be a issue. We'd be swamped by fangirls."

"Would you please?" I looked at him, using my techniques to make him cave.

He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. "Fine. I hate it when you do that to me. You and Madi both. Psh. Chicks."

"You love us though."

"Indeed I do." he shook his head, pulling into the back parking lot of the venue. He parked his car and we got out, racing to the back door. When inside, Matt was waiting to chew Alex out over being late. I stood behind Alex, waiting for the yelling to start.

"You're late." Matt inhaled sharply.

"I don't wanna hear it Matt."

"You never wanna hear it Alex. It's been the same fucking thing over and over since Haley left you. I've been lenient on you because of Madalynn, but this is the last straw dude."

I shook my head and walked to Alex's side, pulling his arm around my shoulders. "Hi Matt."

"Haley." he nodded, walking away in embarrassment.

"You just saved things from getting verbal and vulgar, babe." Alex laughed, kissing my forehead. "Thanks."

"He can put a cork in it."

"Correction. He can put a cock in it." he laughed, dragging me towards the dressing room. We walked in to find Zack, Brooke, Jack, Rian, and Ri's new girlfriend Cassadee, sitting on the couches talking among themselves. "Hello all."

"Who invited Gayscarf?" Jack snickered.

"Well since I am the lead singer, I figured I'd show up since none of you can sing."

"What's up with Matt?" Rian asked, ignoring Alex and Jack's little argument.

"He's pissed off at me." he shrugged. "So we're going to stand in the crowd. We'll catch you later."

"Come on Brooke." I waved her on.

"I can't." she gave me a unsure look. "I wanted to, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to anymore." she said, giving me a look to let me know there was something other than that. I nodded and didn't ask about it anymore. I left with Alex to the giant room and started to push our way through the crowd.

It was funny none of them had no idea Alex Gaskarth was there. Alex kept his arms around me, protecting me from the pushing and shoving. We managed to push our way to the second row and maintained our position during the first act.

"Oh my God!" a girl shrieked to her friend. "It's Alex Gaskarth! Alex, I love you!" she screamed at him, nearly on the verge of tears.

"Love you too." he replied, flashing her a smile. She broke down into tears on her friend's shoulder while her friend shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"It's okay sweetie, don't cry. It's just Alex." I giggled, patting her shoulder. She looked up at me with wide eyes and stared me down from head to toe.

"Holy shit!"

"What?" I raised a eyebrow, a little afraid of what she was going to say.

"You're Haley?!" she smiled.

"Mhm."

"Wow, Haley's making friends." Alex smirked, poking my sides.

"Ah, quit you asshole." I slapped his hands away, making the girl giggle.

"You two are cute." she said before Cassadee from Hey Monday came out on stage.

We stayed to watch Hey Monday play. Once they did, I began to get tired of the pushing and shoving and begged Alex to take me back to the dressing rooms. He agreed and escorted me towards the back stage area, pushing through crowds of girls who screamed and reached out to touch him as we passed.

Once we were in, the silence in my ears was soothing. He sat down on the sofa and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around my body. "Remember when we played here last December?" he mumbled, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Mhm." I nodded. "And we cuddled in this exact same place?"

"Funny how we talked about conceiving Madalynn, then not even six months later we have her."

"How has she been doing? You know.. since I haven't been around." I gulped.

He sighed and took a deep breath. "For the first few nights, it was hell. She wouldn't sleep through the night. She would cry more. She became attached to me. Like really babe. I couldn't put her down for a couple minutes to go pee or hand her to Brooklyn while I went to play a show or meet fans. She would cry and I just can't take that. It breaks me."

"I'm sorry I left." I frowned. "I was stupid."

"You were mad. I can't imagine how much you probably wanted to kill me that night."

"What exactly happened between you two anyway?"

"It was early October. She knew that you and I were as close as best friends then. Jack wanted to go out so we went. I asked you if you wanted to go, but-"

"But I was sick?"

"Yes, you were sick. So before we left, I made you soup and climbed through your window to give it to you. Well anyway, back to relevancy. Jack and I went out to someone's house. I can't remember who's, but your sister was there. She and Jack enticed me to drink, and me being the fucking idiot I am, I did. After a few rounds, she got me upstairs. At that point, I had no idea what was happening. Well, until I felt her hand in my pants. Then she threatened me to tell me what I knew or she'd do unpleasant things to my penis.. then I was terrified." he shuttered.

"So basically, she got you drunk just to get things out about me?" I raised my eyebrow. "What the hell did she ask you?"

"She asked me why I was helping you. And what I knew about the whole Jenna and Lucas drama so her and Cat could patch it up."

"What'd you say?"

"I told her I was helping you because I loved you. Then, like a little sister, but now. Don't get me started." he smirked seductively. "And I told her there was nothing she could do to patch that up and you were happy with me. Nothing was more important than your happiness."

I blushed and hid my face in his chest. "Alex, I love you. But didn't you call me one night crying when you were drunk?"

"I think that was the same night. After it happened."

"That's what you were probably apologizing for. Alex, I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. It's over and done with. Lets just forget about it and worry about being good parents to our baby." he smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." I giggled, pressing my lips to his.