Impulse

Top Ten Reasons to Date a Hockey Player

1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9. They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls.

I sat back - eyes widened at the computer screen - and nodded in agreement. To no one in particular, since the boys were at practice and Emma had left earlier to go run some errands. Was is sad that I hadn’t been around hockey for even a month now and could still confirm each and every one of those reasons? I decided not to dwell on it long, lest I start questioning my morals.

They have long sticks. That one really got me laughing, not because of its hilarity so much but because of his truthfulness. I could agree. Emma had stated so more than once, along with the rest of WAGs of the Oilers. And reason number nine? It sure explained the various aches and pains I’ve started to notice since I’ve been with Jordan.

I kept that page up and opened another tab to browse Facebook with until I heard the front door open. “Emma!” I called, not having to look to know it was her stumbling into the apartment with an armful of crinkling shopping bags. “Come look at this!”

I heard the bags drop to the floor, followed by the quick patter of footsteps on the hardwood. She plopped down next to me on the leather couch and looked at my laptop screen, not having to be told twice before she read the scarily accurate list.

“Wow,” she commented as she read the last one and sat back. “Story of my fucking life.”

“I know, right?” I laughed, rereading the list again.

“We could totally do one of those,” she said, pointing to the list.

“What do you mean?” I asked, trying - and failing - not to laugh at number eight again.

“A list of reasons to date a hockey player,” she explained, “Lord knows we have enough experience with that. We could each come up with five.”

“Easy peasy,” I laughed, already thinking of how easy it would be to come up five. “Let’s have them by the end of the week?” I challenged, wanting to make the list a little more fun.

Emma smirked. “You’re on.”

*

I bit into my delicious cinnamon sugar toast, chewing slowly before licking my lips to catch any excess sugar crystals left behind. Taylor watched me from across the table, his bowl of Frosted Flakes long-forgotten. I smirked at my boyfriend, before taking another scrumptious bite. He let out a low growl, and I winked teasingly at him.

Who knew breakfast could be so sexual?

I finished up the rest of my toast before grabbing for my glass of orange juice. A female scream from Jordan’s bedroom briefly grabbed my attention, and I barely felt my knuckles graze the cup, before brushing it off the edge of the table. I looked back, and watched as the cup fell in slow motion, that is, until a hand reached out and snatched it before even a drop of citric acid could spill from the rim.

“What the fu-…” I started, but Taylor just smirked at me, before setting my glass safely onto the tabletop.

“Babe, I’m superman.” He stated, before grabbing both our dirty dishes and carrying them to the sink. If the noise from Jordan’s room was any indication, I deemed that Maddie was currently in a compromising position, so I simply grabbed my white iPhone from the counter, and opened our chat log, before typing a new message.

Rule #1 – Quick reaction time on and off the ice.

I quickly pressed send, before joining Taylor on the sofa, and snuggling up to him as he turned to the volume up higher on the television, in hopes of drowning out the noise coming from down the hallway. I grinned as Step-Brothers started playing, and was quickly growing to enjoy the boys’ day off.

---

We exited the room - fully clothed now - to a silenced living room. Emma and Taylor both eyed us carefully, but thought better than to comment on the big elephant in the center of the room. Sure, me and Jordan had been loud while engaging in...fun. And sure, we weren't exactly trying to be quiet about it either. But in my defense I was only staying true to the list.

Jordan and I took a seat at the other end of the sectional couch. He draped an arm around me as I pulled my phone out from my pocket to see one new message from Emma. I opened it, expecting complaints about the loud ruckus we had made, but instead seeing the first reason to the list we had less than a week to make. Rule #1 - Quick reaction time on and off the ice. I made a mental note to ask her about the reason behind it later and settled back into Jordan's side, turning my attention to the TV.

"Ten bucks says its partly cloudy with a temperature in..." Taylor began, the first to speak among us. He kept his eyes on the morning's news as he tried to guess a temperature. "What do you say, Ebs?"

"The thirties," he said surely, leaning forward in anticipation of the weather man's predictions.

The room went silent again as the weather man spoke. "-should be partly cloudly with temperatures in the low to medium thirties-"

The rest of the news cast was drowned out as the boys flew from the couch and began fist pounding and screaming at their accurate predictions. All they needed was some ice and a scored goal and it'd be like another hockey game for them. Me and Emma eyed eachother over the bundle of joy on the floor; she smirked just as I reached for my phone and pulled up our chat.

Rule #2 - They have a tendancy to cheer/celebrate every little thing.

I saw Emma laugh as she got the message.

---

I slumped onto the couch, having spent the last half hour playing scavenger hunt with all the dirty clothes in the house. Now that Maddie was a semi-permanent resident, Jordan felt no need to keep anymore, and Taylor already threw his shit around wherever he felt.

“Babe, you look exhausted.” I heard from behind my closed eyes, and squinted to see Taylor’s face inches away from my own. I reached up, and lazily ran my fingers through his flow, lightly scratching his scalp with my nails.

“I am, completely exhausted. Taylor, can you please do one, itty, bitty thing for me?” I asked softly, a pout on my lips. I watched Taylor’s eyes zero in on my lips, before shifting back to my brown eyes. I tugged my bottom lip with my teeth, and grinned at the sigh of submission that escaped Taylor’s full lips.

“What is it?” He asked warily, pulling back from me slightly, causing my hands to fall from his head. I gave a victorious smile, and slyly pointed to the laundry basket at the end of the hallway.

“Oh, just put that in the washer Tay?” I asked, smiling sweetly, even though I had already won. I watched his gaze shift to the offending piece of plastic, before glaring at me. With a defeated grunt, he pushed himself off of me, and picked up the basket, walking towards the laundry room.

I relaxed, and made small talk with Maddie and Jordan as we waited for Taylor to clean our clothes, so that we could finally leave the house. Soon enough, my tall blonde was walking slowly out of the laundry room, with his head hung. I sat up a little, slightly alarmed about my boyfriend’s sudden change in mood.

“Hallsy, man. What’s wrong?” Jordan asked, twirling a strand of Maddie’s hair around his finger, while she lightly drew random shapes on his thigh. Taylor gave his long hair a good tug, before looking up at us, a bit disgruntled.

“I decided to try Tide instead of Gain. It said twenty-four hour clean-smelling, and I decided to just go with it…” Taylor confessed, causing all of us to crack up. I whipped out my phone, and quickly opened Maddie and I’s chat log.

Rule #3 – They tend to make snap decisions. Throw caution to the wind.

---

I was still laughing to myself two hours later, huddled in front of Emma's vanity mirror and dabbing lipgloss along my bottom lip. I could feel Jodan's hungry eyes on me from his spot on the bed; I made a kissy face at him through my mirror.

"Tease," he mouthed back.

Emma laughed from beside me, winking at me through the mirror as she brought the eyeliner pencil up to her eyelid. I went back to perfecting my lipgloss.

"Shit," I heard her mumble after a moment. I glanced over to see her holding the pieces of what used to be her eyeliner, a chunk in each hand.

"Want to use-?" I began, only to be cut off by Taylor strutting in from the walk-in closet.

"Tape?" he offered, holding up his trusty roll of hockey tape. Emma kissed his cheek and took the roll, repairing her pencil with a thick strip of tape. Good as new. I busied myself with my phone now, opening our chat to enter in the next reason.

Rule #4 - They always have hockey tape on them. Just in case.

---

“Hey, Vincenzo!” Jordan called happily as we walked into their Barber’s shop. I smiled warmly at the only man the boy’s trusted to cut their hair, and followed Taylor as he took the seat closest to us, before running my fingers through his flow for the last time.

“This is probably the saddest moment of my life.” I confessed, pouting as Jordan fell from the chair he had just sat in from laughing. That, of course, cracked Madelyne up, who was sitting in one of the waiting chairs. Taylor grinned at me, before leaning in to try and capture my lips. I continued to pout, and used my grip on his hair to keep his head where it was.

“Baby, it has to happen. I can’t walk around looking like a bum.” Taylor told me, using his hands to try and loosen my grip on his blonde locks. I sighed, before pulling Taylor’s face to my own, and kissing him passionately, while lightly scratching his scalp, and massaging where I had kept my tight hold.

“That, is not happening again until you grow out your hair.” I stated after pulling away, before going and sitting next Maddie calmly, smiling slightly as Jordan choked out another laugh. I winked at my blonde, and could basically see him weighing the pros and cons. You could visibly see the light bulb go off by the way his eyes lit up, but it was too late as Vincenzo quickly flipped on the razor, and started hacking away at the blonde.

“Fuck.” Taylor muttered, slouching back against his seat and pouting like an overgrown child.

Finally both Taylor and Jordan had their new hair-dos, and were standing at the cash register. I played with Taylor’s short hair, scrunching my nose up as I ran into random bits of gel, keeping the blonde in a faux-hawk style.

“Hey, thanks Vinny.” Jordan said, and they quickly paid before we exited the shop. Ah, me so horny! Ah, ah, me so horny! started playing from someone’s phone, and we all whipped out our iPhones, looking for the culprit. By the crimson blush that came across Taylor’s cheeks, I couldn’t help but laugh as he hit ‘accept’.

“Nuge, what’s up?” He asked, before starting a conversation with the younger guy. I bit my lip for a second, before tapping my messaging app.

Rule #5 – Having a tendancy to give people nicknames based off their last names.

I quickly hit send, and the ‘oh’ of realization from Maddie confirmed that I wasn’t the only one who noticed this.

---

Somehow, Emma and I had been vanished to the back seat of Taylor's SUV, leaving Jordan and Taylor to argue about directions up front.

"No, no! You take 124th Street to get to Jasper!" Jordan ordered, pointing stubbornly to the road that Taylor had just flew past.

Taylor wrinkled his brow in disagreement. "Dude, I need to stop for gas first. We'll get to Jasper Avenue, just contain yourself!"

Me and Emma just kept our mouths shut in the back seat, texting complaints back and forth and waiting for an accident to happen. Soon enough, the boys would learn the benefit of having at least one girl in the front seat. That's how shit got done around here.

Taylor pulled the SUV into the gas station and up next to a pump. Both he and Jordan got out - Taylor at the pump and Jordan with the windshield cleaner to free the SUV of the many dead bugs splashed across the window. I glanced out my window at Taylor, who's head kept rapidly switching between his hand clamped on the gas nozzle and the total price, which kept rolling upward.

"What's he doing?" I asked, nudging Emma's side.

She followed my gaze. "Oh," she explained simply, "he's likes to get the price directly on the .00." We both watched intently out the window to see if Taylor would reach his goal.

When the tank was near full, he let go quickly - but not quickly enough. The price campe to a stubborn .01, making Taylor say a word that made a mom coming out from the gas station cover her kid's ears.

We both leaned closer to the window yet as Jordan came up beside Taylor, laid a consoling hand on his shoulder and kicked the till. We both made little gasps as the till magically rolled back to .00.

Taylor paid and got back in the car with Jordan; neither of them said anything about the phenomenal event they'd just created and drove on. I, meanwhile, whipped out my phone and opened my chat with Emma.

Rule #6 - Teamwork always makes the dreamwork.

She nodded in agreement as she got the text.

---

I quickly pulled a few quarters from the left pocket on Maddie’s purse, handing one to Taylor, before using mine to unlock a cart from the line of rolling metal. We split up by sex, and made our way through the aisles, picking out anything that we found to be a necessity.

“Mommy look, it’s the Oiler’s!” I heard a little kid in the cart beside me yell, and looked up just in time to see Jordan and Taylor riding down our isle. Jordan kneeled in the container part of the cart, and Taylor had put his feet on the bar on the bottom to hold cases of pop and such, as they travelled at an insane speed down the aisle.

Directly towards us.

As they got closer, I felt Maddie grab my upper arm, and pull me beside her, out of the cart's way. The little boy giggled with glee, and his mom made quick work of abandoning the aisle in which her son’s role models were behaving immaturely.

“Baby! Did you see how fast we were going?” Taylor called, after the guys had pulled the metal cart to a stop. I glared at my boyfriend, and returned to shopping, ignoring the idiots. Maddie swiftly followed my lead, but once she turned away from the guys, she left a huge grin take over her face. I elbowed her in the ribs, and continued to pull some Kraft Dinner from the shelf, and stocking it in the cart.

“Yo, Hallsy! Gatorade Gel is on sale. Let’s stock up!” Jordan called, and they both hurried over to the shelf covered with Pre-Game Fuel. I watched as they cleared the shelf into a cart, before pushing it towards us.

“Babe, seriously? You just bought, like ten cases of that last week. We don’t need anymore.” I tried to reason with my pouty boyfriend, but only received a glare from the blonde.

“Bitch, don’t you touch my Gatorade.” Taylor said, before pushing the full cart towards the counter, Jordan following behind him loyally. I felt my phone vibrate, and glanced down, seeing a text from Maddie, who was trying to contain her giggles near the canned vegetables shelf.

Rule #7 – Never deny a hockey player his Gatorade?

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my own lips soon after reading it, nodding repeatedly at the question.

---

"Since when is it winter?" Emma complained loudly from beside me, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked on the snow piling up beside the sidewalk. Taylor came up behind her and took the place of her arms, pulling her into his chest. I felt Jordan's hand tighten around mine.

"It's technically fall," I called after her, sticking my tongue out at the one-fingered hand signal she sent my way.

"I wonder if it's the sticky kind," Taylor wondered aloud, letting go of Emma as he bent over like a child and began packing snow together in his bare hand. We paused to watch him, curious if it would be sticky enough to have a snowball-

"Unf...ow!"

We turned our heads just in time to see Emma get body checked by a man trying to squeeze through our group on the sidewalk. She stumbled for a second before losing balance and falling backward into the snow, ass first. I hid a laugh behind my mitten, only to choke it back when I saw the guys start after the guy. Let the chest-thumping begin.

I hurried over to help Emma out of the snow just as the guys approached the guy. "He didn't even say sorry to you," I whispered to Emma as I looped an arm through hers and watched.

"Look," we heard Taylor say angrily, stopping the guy in his tracks. Taylor had a good four inches on him. "You can't just shove my girlfriend in the snow like that and walk away." Taylor gave the stranger a hard shove with his hands.

"I'm sorry, I-" the guy stammered, stumbling backward and hitting the wall that was Jordan. I tried not to smile - Jordan looked like some tough security guard at a concert. A really buff security guard.

"Don't tell me sorry," Taylor spat, gesturing back to where we stood. He gave the guy another forceful shove in our direction. The guy came up to Emma and mumbled an awkward, yet meaningful apology, which Emma accepted.

The guys ended up apologizing for their hostile ways, too. And, after the kid stopped shitting bricks, he asked for Taylor and Jordan's autographs, which they happily gave. As we watched, I felt Emma lean into me. "Rule #8 - They're always slamming bodies?"

I just laughed, but quickly quieted as the guys approached us again. Jordan quickly scooped my hand up in his as we continued down the sidewalk. "That was really a show you put on," I commented. Taylor overheard me and shot me a giant grin from over Emma's head.

"You think so?" Jordan asked, a grin on his own lips now.

I nodded and leaned in closer. "Five minute major for fighting."

This time, he pushed me in the snow.

---

I grinned as Jordan helped Maddie out of the snow, but only I saw the handful she had grabbed, before she gave him a snowy face wash. I giggled to myself, but stopped as a ball of frozen precipitation made contact with my own face. I raised my mitten to my face, and slowly pushed the slowly melting snow from my face.

“What’s the matter babe? Looking a little chilly over there.” Taylor called, before Jordan got beside him, and silently made this a guys vs. girls challenge. I grabbed Maddie’s upper arm, and high-tailed it to the park around the corner.

“You can’t run from destiny!” Jordan yelled, before they charged after us, forcing us to take refuge behind a large maple tree. I started compacting the snow into tight balls, and watched Maddie take the snowballs, and throw them with precise aim at the guys who were hiding behind the park benches. I glanced up at her questioningly, as she went to grab her next snowball.

“I played little league when I was younger, pitched damn-near perfect games. Be jealous.” She stated, before hitting Taylor square in the face. I grinned as he used his tongue to remove any snow near his mouth.

“Game over.” I stated, as the guys walked out from their base, hands raised in defeat. I ran towards my boyfriend, and attempted to tackle him into the snow, when in reality, he just caught me with my legs around his waist. “Fall.” I whispered, and grinned sadistically as he sighed, before leaning backwards slowly, before landing on a cushion of snow.

“I love you baby.” Taylor whispered into my ear, nipping it lightly, causing goose bumps to form where ever his hot breath reached.

“I love you too Taylor. Forever and always.” I stated, before firmly kissing him, loving how the heat from our lips instantly cancelled out the cold surrounding us. I heard Maddie squeal behind us, but was too caught up in the moment to have a look at what was happening.

If I had looked, I would have saw Jordan tackle her into a snow back, and then lick all the snow off her face.