Virgin Camp

Either I was completely insane, or I was actually starting to learn something at Virgin Camp. It was a Friday afternoon and I was sitting in a class all about attraction. I’d chosen to listen, mostly because Natalie wasn’t in class due to a suspicious illness and I couldn’t discuss my ideas for elaborate schemes with her. I was sitting in the back row, as per usual, nearest the exit. There were no classes on weekends and I was busting to get out. As soon as the class was dismissed, I’d be running out the door and back to Natalie to plan the destruction of Virgin Camp.

The Whitie at the front of the room was explaining that it took a lot more than just looks to attract a member of the opposite sex. I expected the usual bullshit about beauty being on the inside to come next, but it didn’t.

“In a perfect world, guys wouldn’t judge you based on what you look like, but the world we live in isn’t perfect, and what’s on our chests will always outweigh what’s in our hearts,” she said, a smile playing on her lips. I almost laughed out loud, but held my tongue. I’d learnt really quickly not to create distractions in class as it usually led to trouble. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy creating a scene and getting in trouble. It was just that Nat had said that we needed to lie low so we didn’t raise any suspicions. I didn’t think it mattered if I was staying under the radar or not – I was on Pat’s blacklist from day one regardless.

Something about the Whitie out the front was different. I found myself actually liking her and wondered what group she was with. She continued with the lesson, openly asking all the girls in the room what attributes in a guy they were attracted to first. Some of the girls started calling things out, and the Whitie made a list on the board down the front. Most of the things on her list were physical attributes, and she asked us what was attractive that wasn’t simply physical. I thought back to Reed, Tristan and Shia. I missed my boys. I tried to think of what I liked about them to contribute an answer the Whitie was looking for. I surprised myself with the realisation that I wanted to please her.

The only thing Reed, Tristan and Shia all had in common that I liked about them was that that made me laugh, even when I was feeling like utter shit. They always knew just how to make me smile, even when I was so angry I was ready to punch one of them, right then and there. I raised my hand.

“You, in the back,” the Whitie said, gesturing to me. I smiled at her.

“They just have to make me laugh. That’s it,” I said. The Whitie smiled back at me, just as a siren sounded, signalling the end of class and the start of the weekend. Instead of rushing out of class with the others, I hung back, making my way down to the front to the Whitie that had taken the lesson.

“Hi,” I said. “I just wanted to tell you that I actually enjoyed the lesson today.” When did I become such a fucking kiss-ass? I could hardly believe those words had come out of my own mouth. She smiled at me before asking for my name.

“Ryan,” I said. She frowned.

“I’ve heard about you,” she said.

“I’d be surprised if you hadn’t,” I replied with a smirk. She laughed and shook her head.

“Look, I know you’ve been having a tough time getting settled in here, but we’re all just here to help you, if you’d only let us.”

“Maybe some of us don’t want to be trained to become robotic sluts,” I said.

“Ryan, that’s not what this camp is about…”

“Seems that way,” I said, cutting her off. “We’re being taught how we should dress and act and think, for what? So we can fuck the brains out of someone? And what for? To procreate? God help us if that happens to some of the people at this camp because that wouldn’t end well.”

“I understand this is difficult for you, Ryan,” she said. I looked at the name on her desk. Clara Scott.

“No, Clara. You don’t understand.” I left then, turning on my heel and rushing for the door, almost slamming it behind me. I had no idea why I was even angry. I guess I was just in a constant state of anger, because there was always something to be angry about, especially at Virgin Camp. I headed straight back to the cabins, thinking about Reed. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed him. I missed being insulted in an endearing way, the hours we’d spend in that shipping container on the beach, smoking weed and listening to Tristan and Shia bicker about whatever meaningless thing they disagreed on that week. The way we’d smile in that knowing way at each other, and he’d blow smoke rings in the air in front of him and laugh, as I thought that there was no other place I’d rather be.

I found myself in the building where the public phones were, fumbling around in my pocket for the one phone token I’d managed to score, thanks to Natalie. Phone tokens were given out to reward good behaviour, so it was obvious why I was short on them. Natalie had managed to swipe one of Holly’s, not that she’d miss it, as she had countless tokens and apparently no one worth calling.

I dropped my token into the phone and dialled Reed’s cell. It seemed like forever before he picked up. I could just imagine him fumbling through the numerous piles of shit in his bedroom to find his phone.

“Ryan? Is that you?”

“Yeah, man. How are you?” I replied.

“Fucking hung-over. Big night, shame you missed it. How’s the camp going? Got herpes yet?” he said with a laugh.

“Fuck you! Don’t make me scream into the phone and obliterate your hung-over eardrums.” I shot back at him. He laughed.

“Okay, okay..” he said. “Do you know if you’re allowed visitors?”

“Why?” I asked. “Planning on getting off your ass for once and road-tripping up here to patronize me some more?”

“Ryan, I do miss you, and I’ve been thinking about you..”

“Whatever, man. Pretty sure if you come here they’ll smell your diseased ass a mile away and send someone to deal with you. They’re big health promoters here,” I said. Reed sighed.

“Ry, I have to go, sorry… love ya guts.”

“Yeah, you too. Guess I’ll see you when I smell you.”

“Nice one, fuck-knuckle,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled, too.

“You’re welcome, dick-splash.”

He hung up after that. I stared at the phone in my hand for a moment before putting it back. As I turned to leave the Communications Centre, I overheard hushed voices, coming from a door I hadn’t noticed before, right at the back of the room. I walked towards it slowly, trying to make out what the voices were saying.

“What is she doing?” I recognized the shrill voice as Pat. A few moments later, I heard my own voice, though I knew for sure that I definitely wasn’t speaking. I noticed the door was cracked a little, and nudged it open a little farther, so that I could just see inside the room. What I saw immediately shocked me. The far wall was covered with television screens, which displayed every inch of the camp. I grinded my teeth together and clenched my fists in anger. As if the camp wasn’t fucked up enough, now we were under surveillance?

I looked around the Communications Centre for the cameras, when I spotted the tiny piece of intrusive technology, mounted on the ceiling, disguised as a smoke alarm. I’d disabled enough smoke alarms during my pyromaniac days to know that the ‘smoke alarm’ on the ceiling of the Communications Centre wasn’t a real one. As I continued to stare at it, I saw the tiny lens, and the way it moved ever so slowly around the perimeter of its smoke alarm façade. I was sort of impressed by the invention, but too horrified by the invasion of privacy to enjoy it.

It wasn’t just that they were watching us all the time that horrified me – it’s that none of the campers knew about it. It was beyond creepy, but it made sense. If the camp didn’t make enough money from the campers themselves, they could make a fine living making second-rate porn using their perverted surveillance cameras.

I turned my attention back to the voices in the room and was only a little surprised to see that Pat was looking at a screen with playback of me in class, less than an hour previous. She started going off that I was a troublemaker and that I had to be dealt with sooner rather than later. That was when Damon spoke up. I hadn’t noticed him in the room before, but almost fell over when I realized he was practically leaning against the door, and one more slight nudge would reveal me eavesdropping.

“She hasn’t done anything yet,” Damon said. “Besides, it wouldn’t look good for the camp if you just kicked her out. Don’t want to mess up your one hundred per cent success rate, do you?”

Pat considered this for a moment, pursing her lips. “I suppose you’re right,” she said. “I won’t enjoy this.”

“Oh, I can tell,” Damon said, a hint of laughter in his tone.

“If I could strangle the little bitch, I would,” Pat said, switching off the screens before heading towards the door. I bolted towards one of the phone booths and squeezed in just as Pat came out of the door. She threw me a dirty look on her way past and I looked down at the phone in front of me, pretending to be dialling a number. As soon as she was gone, I stepped out of the booth, and right into Damon.

“Ryan!” he said in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Had someone I needed to call,” I muttered, recollecting my composure before heading for the door. I could feel him staring after me as I left, but he didn’t chase after me. I surprised myself by being kind of disappointed, and then mentally slapped myself for even thinking that way. I was developing expectations when it came to Damon. I expected him to care for me, when I didn’t give two fucks about him. I knew better than anyone that expectations only led to disappointment, which led to heartbreak further down the track. But still, there I was, feeling disappointed in Damon, without knowing when I’d started expecting things from him, and dreading the heartbreak that would soon follow if I wasn’t careful.