Waiting for Life to Begin

2 weeks passed. 2 long fucking agonising weeks with Jack healing in hospital. Obviously I had to go back to school, but I visited him as soon as school cut out every day. I only let myself try to get back into a normal routine because Enderson, Young, Farland and Newman have been suspended for two weeks and because the attack is going on their permanent records, so at least Jack can get a small amount of justice from that. They should’ve been expelled but there’s only so much I can do. I’ve tried, right?

Jack’s broken ribs have healed nicely, and Jack hasn’t bled internally since the operating table, so that’s good. His dislocated shoulder has healed well too, so I’ll just have to make sure he builds up the strength for it again as well as wearing a lot of support bandage before we train and play.

Yeah, Jack still wants to play on the team. He’s terrified that he’ll get attacked again, but this time I’m not letting him out of my sights. No fucking way. Where he goes, I go. I’m not letting him get hurt like this again. Ever.

Today Jack’s coming back to school. He was released yesterday and is refusing to have any bed rest because apparently he bored out of his fucking mind. Fair enough. He’ll just have to take it easy. I’ll make sure he doesn’t overstrain himself, giving him rides to and from school as well as carrying any heavy books. I’m going to protect him, no matter what.

So far, Jack’s first day back has gone okay. Well, he’s had so many stares and whispers wherever he goes, but Rian and I have sorted it out as best as we can with glares and growls. Jack is still Jack. Why can’t they understand that? Jack’s retreated even more into his shell, basically clinging to me everywhere we go, but I don’t mind. Well, of course I don’t mind, but he can’t know that. Not now. Not while he’s healing.

“Dude, I’m so hungry, I could eat a cow,” Rian groaned, shoving his Chemistry book into his bag.

“I think the canteen are serving pizza today?” I offered, taking Jack’s book from him.

Jack grunted in protest, but I ignored him.

“Fuck yeah! I’m definitely having some of that!” Rian said cheerfully, walking with us out of the lab room.

I laughed and rolled my eyes, Jack managing a smile too. That’s good. That’s progress. The three of us headed towards the canteen, but then Coach stepped out of his office a little further down the hall and looked right at us. Great.

“Barakat, I want to speak to you,” Coach said gruffly.

Jack nodded but grabbed my Letterman jacket and pulled me along with him. I rolled my eyes and waved casually to Rian, as if to say we’d catch him up. Coach looked surprised to see me in the room when he shut the door, but didn’t say anything.

“Now, I’ve heard certain things about you, Barakat, and I want to know if they’re true,”

“What things?” Jack said nervously.

“That you’re a homosexual,” Coach said sharply.

Jack swallowed heavily. I narrowed my eyes. I know Coach wasn’t happy that Enderson, Young, Farland and Newman haven’t been in school for two weeks either, but seriously?

“Y-Yes it’s true,” Jack admitted.

I felt a swell of pride at his confession. I’m so happy that he’s finally coming to terms with what happened.

“I think it’s best if you sit out for the rest of the season, don’t you?” Coach said to Jack.

Oh fuck no.

“W-Why? Just because I’m gay?” Jack spluttered.

“I don’t want my team to look weak,” Coach said firmly.

“But…”

Jack trailed off, tears pricking his eyes. No fucking way. I’m not letting Jack get treated like this. Fucking bigot.

“If you force Jack off the team, Coach, then I’m leaving too. And I can reassure you that so will Dawson, Kurily and Flyzik,” I said angrily.

“Excuse me?” Coach said, surprised.

I’ve never spoken out against him before, but this is unacceptable. So what if Jack’s gay?!

“I said, if you force Jack off the team, then I’m leaving too. This is homophobia and you damn well know it,” I said calmly, and a little coldly.

Jack’s eyes were wide in surprise and he shook his head.

“You don’t have to do this,” Jack murmured.

“Yes, I do. I’m not letting you get pushed out of everything you love just because of your sexuality,” I said, narrowing my eyes at Coach.

Coach just gritted his teeth, knowing that I was serious. Good. Fuck him if he’s going to treat Jack like this.

“We don’t have a good enough back-up Quarterback to complete the season, Merrick,” Coach scowled.

“Then you know what you have to do,” I retorted, folding my arms over my chest.

Coach looked between Jack and I, clearly frustrated, before sighing in defeat.

“Fine. There will be no changes to the team,” Coach said reluctantly.

“I’m glad we could work this out,” I said mockingly.

I didn’t give Coach time to reply before I grabbed Jack’s arm and pulled him out of the office behind me. As soon as the door was shut, I heard Jack whimper, making me stop walking and frown. What?

“What’s wrong?” I asked, confused.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be on the team anymore. Coach doesn’t want me on the team because I’m gay!” Jack spluttered, looking at me with tear-filled eyes.

“I don’t care what Coach thinks. You’re a fucking good player and we need you, so I don’t care if he isn’t happy about it,”

“I can’t believe you threatened to leave too,” Jack mumbled, looking down at his feet.

I swallowed heavily and cupped his face with my hand, moving his head up to look at me, before putting my hand on his shoulder.

“You’re my best friend. Where you go, I go, okay? I’m not having anyone mistreat you,” I said seriously.

“Fuck, what did I do to deserve a friend as amazing as you?” Jack whimpered.

I just chuckled and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly before letting him go. I can’t have him knowing that I want to just have him in my arms permanently, can I?

“Come on, let’s go to lunch. Rian should be done queuing up for his pizza by now. You brought food from home, right?” I smiled, starting to walk down the corridor.

“Yeah, you?” Jack nodded, wiping his cheeks dry.

“Yeah, my mom is on a health kick at the moment and wants the whole family to eat rabbit food like she does,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

“I have a pack of oreos if you want any?” Jack offered.

“Fuck, what did I do to deserve a friend as amazing as you?” I sighed, teasing him slightly.

Jack blushed and nudged me with his hip, making me nudge him back. I can do this. I can be totally normal with Jack, like we always have been. Right?

As soon as we opened the doors to the canteen, everyone fell silent. Ah fuck. Jack froze next to me, his eyes wide, looking as if he was going to run away. Oh fuck no, I’m not letting him get scared away like this. He has every fucking right to be here so everyone else can just fuck off.

“Everything’s going to be okay, yeah?” I murmured, spreading my hand across the small of his back.

Jack made a soft noise of surprise, but nodded. I smiled reassuringly back and guided him towards Alex’s table.

“W-We’re sitting with Alex?” Jack stammered.

“Where else would we sit?” I shrugged.

I could feel every single pair of eyes watching us as we walked towards the ‘skater’ table, but I didn’t care. This is for Jack, no-one else. Jack sat down next to Alex, so I sat on the other side of him, coincidently facing my old football team table. They had the audacity to look shocked. I scowled at them, making them look away. Good. Fuck them. Jack’s breath hitched in his throat as Rian sat down opposite Alex, an audible gasp sounding from his lips as Danny and Matt sat in the spare seats next to Rian, opposite us. Alex’s friends, Evan, Vinny and Grieco stared at us football players, before shrugging and returning to their conversations. Good.

“W-Why are you guys here too?” Jack asked Danny and Matt.

Danny grinned wolfishly, Matt just chuckling.

“Zack didn’t tell you? We’ve been fucking for years,” Danny shrugged.

Alex spat his drink out all over Evan, Vinny and Grieco’s jaws dropping. Jack just looked like he was going to pass out. I just snickered. Well, that was blunt.

“Y-You…you’ve been…w-what?” Jack mumbled, confused.

“Danny and I have been fucking since we realised what sex is. We’ve all been hiding secrets from each other and it’s time we came clean. Obviously we don’t want to announce our…intimate activities to the rest of the school, but we want you to know why we’re supporting you,”

“We’ve all been hiding secrets?” Jack frowned.

Danny looked at Rian, who just rolled his eyes.

“I’m bi, but I’m not coming out to the school either,” Rian murmured.

Now Alex looked like he was going to pass out. Huh.

“Holy shit,” Jack gasped.

“Mmhmm. It seems like Zack’s the only one without a secret to hide,” Rian nodded, raising an eyebrow at me.

I felt everyone at the table staring at me. I smiled weakly and cleared my throat. No. I’m not going to share my feelings for Jack.

“Yeah, no secret here,” I lied, nodding.

“I never thought I’d see the day where half the football team are fucking guys,” Grieco mused.

“Four of the football,” I corrected.

“Whatever, you know what I’m trying to say,” Grieco retorted.

I just gritted my teeth. Five of the football team.

“I…I don’t really know what to say,” Jack said with a weak smile to us.

“You don’t have to say anything. We’re your best friends and we’ve got your back no matter what,” I reassured.

“Yeah Barakat, it doesn’t matter who sucks your dick, you’re still the same guy,” Danny agreed.

Rian and Matt snickered, and I rolled my eyes. He’s so blunt sometimes.

“Just know that no-one’s ever going to hurt you again, okay?” I promised.

Jack stared at me for a few seconds, before nodding, smiling gratefully at me. I smiled back and squeezed his knee in reassurance. Jack’s breath hitched in his throat and I immediately cursed under my breath. What the fuck did I do that for?! Stupid stupid Zack. Fuck.

“So this is going to be a regular thing then? You guys sitting at our table?” Vinny asked curiously.

Thank fuck for the distraction.

“Yeah, if you guys don’t mind,” I nodded, Rian, Danny and Matt agreeing.

“No problem with us. Jack’s protection is important,” Alex nodded, his friends nodding too.

Jack blushed and shook his head, embarrassed. I just smiled. If he thinks we’re not going to protect him, he’s got another thing coming.

*

We made it. We made it through the whole fucking day. Wow. Rian’s coming over to mine tonight so we can work on our Trigonometry homework together, but because I’m dropping Jack home, he’s taking Alex home (for some strange reason) and just waiting for me there. Whatever. I don’t care who he fucks.

I cut the engine outside Jack’s house, looking straight at him. He’s been quiet all day. Far too quiet. I just hope he’s okay.

“Have I…Have I been too pushy today, Jack?” I asked worriedly.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked, confused.

“I haven’t left you alone, have I?” I said with a weak smile.

“No, it’s okay, I…I like your company,” Jack said softly.

I smiled in relief. Well, that’s good. I like his company too. But ssh.

“I just don’t want you to get sick of me being by your side all the time,” I said.

“I could never get sick of you,” Jack said shyly.

Shyly? Why is he shy?

“Good. Um, I’ll pick you up the same time tomorrow, yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’d be great, thanks,” Jack smiled.

“No problem,” I smiled back.

“Thanks for today, Zack. I couldn’t have done it without you,” Jack said quickly.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Jack quickly kissed my cheek before leaping out the car, not looking back as he ran into his house. Without thinking, I raised my hands to where his lips had been, smiling slightly. He…He kissed my cheek. Jack actually kissed my cheek. Wow.

Maybe I do have a chance after all.