Waiting for Life to Begin

Please don't make.

[Jack]

I can’t believe March is here already. I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since Zack walked in on Alex and I in the showers. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he saw us. Disbelief. Like it wasn’t happening. I bet he’d like to push the memory away like it didn’t happen, if he could.

Wait, that was mean. Zack isn’t like that. Well, at least I hope he isn’t.

He seems to be coping pretty well so far. He barely even flinches when Alex and I kiss in front of him anymore. I guess I should be glad that he’s willing to get used to my sexuality. I just wish he’d understand how much I hate his approach to women. A different one on every date, ending with sex and the promise of a phone call that never comes. Yet they still fall to their knees, begging him to let them suck his dick. And it’s not even like he’s mean about it either. I’ve never heard a single complaint. I don’t get it. Even when I was straight I didn’t get it.

I was surprised when he said he wasn’t going with the Neanderthals of the football team on Spring Break though. Usually he does, leaving me behind without a second thought. I wonder what changed his mind?

Zack was nice enough to drive Alex and I home today, probably because he’s in a good mood about the sex he’s getting tonight from that red-headed skank cheerleader. Fuck, they’re all so fake. 90% plastic and the rest fake-tan. What could possibly be appealing about that?

“Jack, can I talk to you for a second?” Zack asked, once he pulled up into his driveway.

I glanced in the mirror at Alex, who just nodded. So I nodded too.

“I’ll be in my house, Jack,” Alex said, leaving the car.

Zack turned to face me.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“You were acting strange at lunch, y’know, after Enderson, Young, Farland and Newman were insulting Alex and his friends,” Zack said.

Ah. Well, I know what he means, but I’m not going to tell him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, shrugging.

“Jack, I saw your face when I walked over to talk to Casey. You looked like someone had drowned a load of kittens in front you,” Zack said bluntly.

That’s a horrible thought!

But I just sighed.

“You know I don’t like how much you sleep around. I never have,” I said simply, not looking at him.

“Is that it?” Zack frowned.

What the fuck do you mean is that it?!

“Pretty much,” I nodded. I’m not going to elaborate.

“Well, I guess…I’m not going to defend what I do, Jack. I like sex, and if I have a lot of girls offering it why should I stick to one person?” Zack said simply.

Because it’s the decent thing to do?

“Wow, I just sounded like a slut then,” Zack snickered.

I couldn’t help but smile lightly. At least he isn’t turning into a complete ass.

“Yeah, you did. And yeah, you are,” I grinned.

“Shut up Barakat. You think I didn’t hear you and Alex last night – you left the window open and mine was open too,” Zack smirked.

Oh my gosh. That’s fucking embarrassing.

“Uh, I’m going to go now! Wear a condom tonight!” I squeaked, scrabbling to get out the car

“Same to you!” Zack called, getting out the car too.

I stuck my tongue out at him before running into Alex’s house, nearly crashing into the boy himself.

“I got sodas already – we can go to my room,” Alex snickered, steadying me from falling over.

I blushed but nodded, following him up the stairs, Alex kicking the door shut behind us. His parents know not to just come into his room without knocking. Alex bounded over to his bed, kicking his shoes off before sitting elegantly in a calming yoga position. How someone who’s taken as much verbal and physical abuse as he has can be so happy all the time, I’ll never know.

“Soda?” I asked, picking one up from his desk.

Alex nodded and grinned, so I threw it at him. Gently of course. He still didn’t catch it, grunting as it hit his stomach. I just chuckled picking one up for myself before sitting next to him

“Gossip time!” Alex trilled.

“Fuck, you’re camp,” I snickered.

“Fuck, so are you,” Alex retorted.

I rolled my eyes, cracking open my can and taking a swig.

“So…have you made any progress with your one true love?” Alex smiled at me.

And he goes straight for the target.

“I wish you would stop calling him that,”

“Why should I? Merrick did turn you gay, y’know, however unintentionally,” Alex shrugged.

And there you go, the fucking truth is out. No, Alex isn’t getting his surnames mixed up. He is talking about Zack, everyone’s favourite Quarterback. My best friend. Alex knows every single fucking detail of my crush on Zack, and always tries to get Zack to notice me. Pathetic, isn’t it? That’s what makes it so much worse, knowing that I see him and talk to him every day, but that he will never look above all the pussy thrown his way to notice me like I noticed him.

“How the fuck am I supposed to make any progress when, one, he’s straight, two, he’s still not used to me being gay, and three, when he takes a new girl out nearly every night?” I grumbled.

“Well now that he knows you’re gay, you can just launch yourself at him!” Alex grinned.

“Yeah, great plan, Lex. I can’t even get him to compliment my amazing ass-hugging jeans, let alone get him in a situation to seduce him,” I muttered.

“You seduced me easy enough,” Alex shrugged.

“Gaskarth, it was you that seduced me, and you take dick left, right and centre whenever you get offered it. Hell, even when you just want it you get it,” I shot back.

“It’s not my fault I have a perfect ass or that everyone wants a piece of it. Except, you know, my future husband who has yet to acknowledge my existence. Besides, I’m just trying to help you! That’s all I’ve ever done!” Alex pouted.

I sighed. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that…Zack doesn’t even seem affected when we kiss in front of him anymore! How am I supposed to make him jealous and make him want me if he doesn’t even care?!”

I was confused as a smirk spread across Alex’s lips. What could he possibly be smirking about at a time like this?

“Oh I think Zack Merrick cares more than he lets on, Jack,” Alex said.

Uh, what?

“Are you going to elaborate on that or just leave me hanging?” I frowned, cocking my head to the side.

“He cares more than he thinks and more than you think. Zack goes to extraordinary lengths to protect you, even more so to make you happy. Including lying to your other best friend, just because you asked him to. I don’t think he’s as straight as he thinks he is,” Alex said simply.

“Oh God, don’t tease me like this Alex! You know how badly I want him to love me,” I whimpered.

Alex lost his smirk immediately.

“Jack, calm down, I was just stating my opinion. I was just stating what I see, and what I’m sure other people see too,” Alex said, rolling his eyes.

“Please don’t…please don’t say he’s not straight just to make me feel better, okay? I know he is, and I don’t need to be tortured like that,” I whined.

“Alright, alright, if you don’t want me to state the fucking obvious, I won’t,” Alex sighed.

I stayed silent, looking down at my hands. Zack is as straight as a plank of wood. There’s no denying it. Why the fuck would Alex suggest otherwise?!

“Lex?” I said softly.

“Yeah, Jack?” he sighed.

“Can you make me forget?” I asked him.

“Forget about what, Jack?” Alex frowned.

“Forget about Zack?” I asked again.

Alex sighed. “I can make you forget for the night,”

“That’s good enough for me,” I said with a weak smile.

Alex smiled back, pecking my lips in a kiss, brushing my hair from my eyes before pressing his lips to mine fully, pushing me down on my back. I sighed happily into his mouth as he straddled my waist, my hands going to their usual spot on his hips.

I need to forget about my stupid crush on Zack. If I don’t, I’m going to go fucking mad. If I don’t…well, I can’t see it ending well for any of us.
♠ ♠ ♠
Oh Jack!
:(
And now we know the truth.
Zack’s as awkward as ever in the next update…

Everyone go and check out In Darkness and In Light. It’s full of beautiful ATL pairings and deserves way more love than it’s getting. Go!

Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter =] Please keep it up! I love reading your feedback!

Hello Fascination.
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xo

p.s. I posted a Halloween All Time Low one-shot full of slashy goodness. Go check it out!