The Day I Left The Womb

3 Months Later...
"Love, Love love, la la la love me... Until your gone. Love love love, la la la love... Look right there, look he thinks he loves me. My dead ringer... Love, Love love, la la la love me... Until your gone and then its too late.. Look right here look he thinks he loves me. My dead ringer. Look right here look he thinks I loves him. My dead ringer. Look right here look he thinks he loves me..My dead ringer... My dead ringer... My dead ringer. "

"I think we should do it one more time." I said after finishing the lyrics.
"Anberlin, I think we nailed it." Finn, my bassist spoke.
"Yeah, we got this. We're going to do awesome tonight." Shaw, my lead guitarist added.
"I'm just nervous guys. We need to get it spot on. You never know who is watching." I replied.
"Rumor has it Brett Gurewitz is going to be at the club tonight." My drummer, Knox spoke up.
My eyes widened and my heart began to pound in my chest.
"Oh great! Now you did it asshole." Shaw said as he threw an empty water bottle at him.
"What?!" Knox whined as the dodged the oncoming water bottle.
"Brett Gurewitz... As in the owner of Epitaph Records?!" My eyes widened.
"We'll be fine Anberlin, we've got this." Shaw reassured me.
I bit my nails nervously.

Our band, "His Fatal Desire" had increased in fans. We had over 300 likes on Facebook. We had been playing local shows at venues. Lots of people came out to watch our shows. We took pictures, sold merchandise, some people even asked for our autographs. It didn't pay much, but the pay it was decent. We had been working hard on our lyrics and music in order to try to get signed. It was our goal and our passion. We love our music and we want to share it with the world.

We were playing tonight at a venue called Royal Red. It was a popular club/bar in Las Vegas, Nevada. Usually 4 bands played a night. Lots of owners from Record Labels come here to check out the bands and offer recording contracts. Only the head lining bands were usually signed though. Now it was our turn... We had been headlining for the past 2 weeks. We were confident that tonight would be the night we would be signed.

"TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!" Janey screeched as she blasted through the front door.
We all stared at her wide eyed and startled.
"Well..." She pouted.
"What did you do Janey?" Finn asked.
"I made posters! And they are all around the mall!" She sing-songed as she handed me the poster. The boys formed around me.
"Oh my god, Janey this is awesome!" I exclaimed. A huge smiled had formed on my face.
"I'm thinking we should make it a shirt too." Janey smiled.
"My poor beautiful face is X'd out." Knox frowned.
"Duh! It is for the My X concept..." Janey playfully rolled her eyes.
"Amazing job Janey." Shaw smiled as he took a hold of the poster.

Janey was practically everything for us. She booked shows for us, managed us, did our merchandise along with a friend of hers, and usually took control of our facebook. We'd be completely lost without her.
I hugged her as tight as I could. "I love you!" I sing-songed.
"I know." She smiled as I released her.
"One more time guys please! Tonight is the night I can feel it!" I pouted.
"Not the pout." Shaw whined.
"Man, she does it every time..." Finn groaned.
"Don't look at her! Look away!" Knox said shielding his eyes.
They all stared at me.

"Ah fuck, One two three four!" Knox said as he smacked his drumsticks together.

________________xXx_______________

We had an hour before we had to head over to the club. We all decided to get ready at Shaw's house, since we were already practicing at his house anyway. I grabbed my clothes our of my purse. I had decided on my black printed skinnys with my dropped arm hole tank and chucks.
I had applied my usual amount of makeup, pencil for the eye, liquid for the lid, but added a gray eyeshadow to finish it off.
"Janey!" I called.
"Yes?!" She called back from downstairs.
"Can you help me with my hair?!" I asked.
I heard her trot up the stairs. "It'd be my pleasure." She spoke with a smile as she stepped into the bathroom.
Janey began to put lose curls in my hair as I sat down on the counter.
My text notification went off. I swiped the button on my touch screen and the message popped up.
A frown crept onto my face.
"Who is it?" Janey asked noticing my sudden dismay.
"Jake."
"He is still texting you? It's been 3 months."
"Would you really put it past him?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.
"No... I guess you're right. What does he want?" She asked.
"It says, 'Good luck at your show. See you there.' " I groaned.
"Fucker doesn't know how to take a hint." Janey spoke in pure frustration.

__________________xXx__________________

The boys and I arrived at the venue. Janey had come an hour before us in order to set things up for us. Our posters that she had made were all over the venue.
"Hey guys! What do you think?!" Janey exclaimed as she came over to us.
"I'm surprised Mark let you do this..." I asked looking around in amazement.
"Dude, it was totally all for it!" She smiled widely.
"By the way," Janey started as she linked arms with me and pulled me away from the boys. "Brett Gurewitz is sitting right over there." She pointed with her free arm. "No pressure, but rock out with your non-existant cock out." She stopped me and turned me to face her.
"This is your moment! This is your chance to live your dreams and get out of this shit hole of a town." She encouraged me. "And also mine, so don't fuck this up." She winked at me playfully. I smiled.

The boys, Janey, and I sat at our little table set up watching the other bands play. We were all talking and have a good time. I kept looking at Brett from time to time. He was a tough guy to read. I couldn't tell if he liked the other bands or not. The band before us were doing their final song.
"Looks like we're up!" Knox spoke as he stood up quickly. "Let's go!"
"I'll be at the merch stand! Kick ass guys!" Janey exclaimed and blew us a kiss before skipping off into the crowd.
I followed the boys toward our backstage area. A soft hand grabbed up upper arm gently and pulled me towards them.
"Anberlin..."
I turned to face the person and my heart began to race. "What do you want Jake?" I asked as my smile sank.
"Look, I know you'll never forgive me. I know I don't deserve it and I don't deserve another change with you, but I want you to hear me out."
"Jake, there is nothing left to say." I shouted over the music. "I can't do it anymore."
"I've been taking anger management for the last 3 months and I'm going to rehab soon." I crossed my eyes and sighed deeply.
"I'm not asking you to take me back, but please at least give me the chance to show you I can be how I use to be..." His eyes were pleading.
I bit down on my lip as I stared at him. I turned toward the stage and saw that the band was finishing up their set.
"I can't deal with this right now, Jake. I'm sorry. I'm up." I said and quickly rushed backstage. My heart never calmed down. Not even for a second. Once I was backstage and about to head on stage with the guys, it became worse.

"Hands in!" Shaw exclaimed.
I put my hand on top of the boys'. "Let's have a good night tonight!" Shaw exclaimed.
"We're going to kick ass and take names!" Knox shouted.
"We're going to show everyone we're a force to be reckoned with!" Finn added ecstatically.
"Who are you?!" They exclaimed with smiles towards me.
"His Fatal Desire!" I shouted smiling proudly. "Who are we?!"
"His Fatal Desire!" We all shouted at the same time.

My nerves began to slip away as we heard the crowd chant. "HFD!" Over and over. The Lights dimmed and Knox, Finn, and Shaw went out on stage. The crowd cheered as they began to play our opening song, "Dead Ringer" played. My text notification sounded. I almost ignored it, but decided to just check it. I swiped my screen and saw a text from Ronnie. "Kick some ass, tonight. :]" I smiled. He texted me before every show I had. He was still touring around with his band, but we talked from time to time still.

"You are the prey and I'm the star. Just shut your mouth and stay where you are..." I sang as I stepped out onto the stage. The crowd went insane as the lights came back up "I see you there! It won't be long now! I pick you up! We'll get it started..."
All my nerves left my system as I jumped around stage serenading the crowd. I was everywhere. I never stayed in one place. I head banged with the beat of the drums. I jumped up and down with the crowd and told them to sing along with me.

"Love, Love love, la la la love me... Until your gone. Love love love, la la la love... Look right there, look he thinks he loves me. My dead ringer... Love, Love love, la la la love me... Until your gone and then its too late.. Look right here look he thinks he loves me. My dead ringer. Look right here look he thinks I loves him. My dead ringer. Look right here look he thinks he loves me..My dead ringer... My dead ringer... My dead ringer. "

I finished off the song and took a huge deep breath as I smiled at the crowd. The music finally faded to the end and the crowd cheered.

"HELLO LAS VEGAS!" I shouted into the mic.
The crowd cheered again.
"I think the crowd got bigger this time!" I exclaimed as I evened my breathing.
They cheered again.
"As you know, or to the ones who do not know us, we are HIS FATAL DESIRE!" I shouted our name at the end.
They crowd cheered wildly again.
"For those who are regulars, we want to thank all of you for coming out again. We love you guys so much!" Our fans who came to see us on a weekly basis cheered at the statement.
"For those who are new, we hope you enjoy our music and that you have a fucking killer time!" I exclaimed. "You guys are doing amazing so far! Lets keep the energy up! Our next song is called "You Remind Me." They went crazy again as Knox started us off.

_______________xXx_____________

We had played through our entire set. The crowd was better than it had ever been for us. We were all high on their energy. Nothing could bring us down. Even if we didn't get signed tonight, this was the best performance of our life.
"We are His Fatal Desire! Thank you!" I shouted and we all headed backstage.
"I can't believe the crowd tonight!" Finn exclaimed.
"Guys, even if we don't get signed. You all did amazing tonight. This has to be the best we ever played."
I brought them all into a hug. Shaw looked up from our group hug. "Guys do you hear that?"
"His Fatal Desire! His Fatal Desire!" Chants began faint and then grew louder and louder.
"They want an encore?" My eyes widened.
We all looked at each other wide eyed. We had never had this happen before.
We all rushed back on stage, shaking the shocked looks off of our faces.
"YOU GUYS WANT MORE?!" Finn shouted into the crowd. They went wild again.
"You guys are fucking INCREDIBLE!" Shaw shouted out to the crowd getting a loud applause and cheers.
"You have all been fucking fantastic tonight. This honestly is my favorite show of all time and it is thanks to all of you." I said as I pointed at the crowd.
"This will be the final song. We hope you guys had an amazing night! Please check out our merch table over there. Janey will hook you up with some killer deals!" I said as the crowd continued to cheer.

"This song goes to the girls who ever had their heart broken. Just remember, He'll regret it. You'll always be His Fatal Desire." I said and faced Knox I raised my mic up in the area and shouted "1, 2 ,3!" as the girls in the crowd cheered.
The music started and the crowd began to make X's with their arms as they jumped up and down.
"This is the story of boy meets girl. He broke her heart and then she rocked his world!
You're my yesterday, you're my goodbye, you're my later baby! Don't ask me why!
You're my ex... You're my ex..."
I jumped around the stage taking in all of their energy. I stepped onto one of the speakers on the stage and crouched down.
"I look around and see your face in the crowd." I sang as I pointed around.
"The lights are blinding and the music is loud." I covered the top of my eyes with my hand as I kept scanning the crowd. I found Jake.
"Try to beg, but there's nothing to do... I'll get revenge and a piece of you!" I shouted as I jumped off the speaker and back on the stage.
"You're my yesterday. You're my goodbye. You're my later baby! Don't ask me why! You're my ex! You're my Ex! You're my Ex!" I shouted with such anger as my blood boiled at the sight of Jake.
"I can't wait and I won't share..." I stopped and put the mic towards the crowd,
They responded with, "You've got to go now. You've got to go now!"
"Don't cry darling!" I shouted and pointed at them.
"Life ain't fair!" They shouted back.

"That's right!" I shouted to them with a smile. "Sing it with me if you know it!"
The boys played into the mini verse.

"There is nothing sweeter than taking control..." I started.
"Bow down and follow my rules!" They shouted.
"Louder!" I exclaimed.
"Tempt me, and you're tempting fate!" The cried out as loud as they good.
"You had the love, now I've got the hate!" We sang together.

"You're my yesterday. You're my goodbye. You're my later baby. Don't ask me why! You're my ex! You're my ex!"

I air guitared the solo part with Shaw and sang the chorus one last time.

"This is the story of boy meets girl..." I sang softly as I finished the song.
"Thank you guys! Have an amazing night! Don't forget to stop by our Merch booth!" I shouted and we all ran back stage.

I had never felt so alive in my life. This had to be fate in some way shape or form. Tonight, was what finalized everything. This was my life goal. This was my ultimate passion. I didn't want to do anything else with my life. This was it.

__________________xXx__________________

We headed over to our merchandise spot. Janey engulfed us all in hugs.
"I'm so proud of you guys! You totally kicked ass!"
"Thanks Janey." I smiled.
The guys were taking some pictures with some fans as I sat with Janey.
"I think you impressed him."Janey smiled.
"You think so?" I asked hopefully as I looked at her.
She nodded. "Hey hun, how can I help you?" Janey asked as someone looked at the shirts.
"Do you have this one in a small?" She asked pointing at the new shirts Janey made with the posters.
"Sure do. Last one." Janey smiled. "Twenty dollars." The girl handed it over to Janey and received her shirt.
"Anberlin, You guys did so amazing." She spoke as she turned to me.
"Awe thanks hun." I smiled.
"I just want you to know, you helped me get over my break up a lot easier. I just really wanted to thank you for that." I smiled, it meant a lot when fans told us we helped them. We may not have a huge fan base like record label bands, but the ones we had were true fans.
I hugged her and took a picture with her.
"So you did make the shirts." I laughed as I looked at it hanging up.
"Of course!" She exclaimed.
"How many did you sell?" I asked.
"Twenty." She smiled proudly.
"Are you serious?!" I asked wide eyed.
She opened the lock box. "I kid you not. 400 dollars. Actually more. Sold a couple other style shirts and 5 cds to some new fans." She grinned in pride.

"Anberlin Petersin?" I looked up. My heart began to race. Brett Gurewitz stood in front of our merch table.
"Yes sir." I stood up quickly and shook his hand. He smiled.
"I was hoping I could have a word with you." He said.
"Of course!" I sat at a nearby table with him.
"You'e performance tonight was incredible. The way you feed off of the crowd's energy. You're a true performer." He spoke.
"It's my passion. This is who I am. This is everything I'm about." I responded.
"I'm going to just cut to the chase, Your band is exactly what I'm looking for. Your chemistry together is unbelievable and the crowds reaction to you is undeniable. I'd like to offer your band a recording contract with Epitaph Records." He said and smiled.
My eyes widened. I felt like I could breath. "You won't regret this sir! I promise you, you won't!" I exclaimed as I shook his hand.
He chuckled. "I don't think I will. Let me get your phone number and I can call you with all the detail about flying you out to sign and to start recording. I want to get you guys started as soon as possible."

_________________xXx_____________________

"We did it! We fucking did it!" I exclaimed. Knox picked me up off the ground and twirled me around as I told them the good news after meeting with them again at the merchandise stand.
"We're signing with Epitaph! Fucking Epitaph!" Shaw cried out.
"I'm so excited for you guys!" Janey exclaimed as she jumped on all of us. Tears rolled down my face in pure joy.

"Excuse me, I was hoping I could get my CD signed. Since you guys are going to be famous and all, I want to make sure I'm one of the first to have an autographed copy..."
I turned to face the speaker. Janey had a smile on her face already.
"Ronnie?!" I exclaimed and a smile spread quickly across my face.
He smiled at me and I quickly embraced him in a hug.
"What are you doing here?! I thought you were still touring?!" I exclaimed. My smile never left my face.
"We were, but we're going to be kicking off a new tour. Headlining it. Besides, didn't want to miss your major show with Mr. Brett watching." He chuckled.
"Wait, he was here because of you?" I furrowed my brows and disappointment began to fill me.

Was Brett only signing us as favor to Ronnie? Did we actually impress him?

"Whoa, don't get the wrong idea." Ronnie put his hands up as if he could read my mind. "I asked Brett to check you guys out yes. The reason he came here was for you guys. After he heard your demo..."
"Wait, how did he get out demo?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
Ronnie smirked and looked at Janey, "You're better and keeping secrets then I thought."
"Janey?!" I asked surprised as I turned to her.
"Guilty." She smiled.
"Anyways, he heard your record. I just so happened to know where you were playing. You guys did the rest and don't doubt that for a second."

I embraced Ronnie in the biggest hug I had even given in my entire life.

This was our moment... This is what I had been waiting for...