Fire Girl

Jane, Jane, my lovely sweet girl. Do you still think of me, where you are?

You always loved my fire tricks, do you remember? I'd click my fingers, and it would seem like fire would jump out of nowhere and rest on my palm, flames seeming to lick the calloused skin. Whenever I visited you at the orphanage you would beg and beg to see the trick; I used to pretend that I wouldn't do it just to hear you when you begged, your voice took on such a beautiful tone - not whiny like most children. You used to be so amazed, but really it was all about the slight of hand, Jane. A lighter placed carefully under my sleeve a quick flick, and there it was.

It took me a while before I realised; I should have noticed sooner, but then again they do say love is blind, whoever they are. I guess the amazement in your eyes when you saw the trick could have been the first clue but really it was when the orphanage had a bonfire, and I came along to help. Although the supervisors were getting suspcious about why I hadn't adopted you yet, they were grateful for the aid I gave them.

To see you dance around the fire so, your arms and legs waving wildy in a fit of poor joy, it made me realise. You were not made for man, but for flames. The pain of realising this at first was unbearable, and I wanted to keep you for myself. My Mother didn't raise me to be selfish however, and I knew I couldn't keep you, not when you were made for something bigger, something better than me.

I didn't want to say goodbye, I just couldn't. I'm sorry Jane, I really am but I broke in that night instead of seeing your face again. If I saw your face, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. I would break down. That's why I did it, you have to see that Jane. I did it for you; I had to give you what you needed. The flames were yours and you were the flames, I couldn't separate you, I could only bring you closer.

Flames are stronger than men, Jane. I couldn't fight them; how could I? I had to give in to them, I could only accept that you would be happy.

It was only a slight of the hand Jane; a quick flick of a match and so the flames started. Of course they wouldn't stay in one place, not when they knew you were in the building. They had to find you, and find you they did. I didn't stay to watch though, I had done all that I could. Just one last glance back at the building, and I thought I saw you looking back at me.

I hope you will forgive me, one day; it was all for you.

My beautiful, beautiful Jane. My fire girl.