The Diva Inside

Ben’s POV

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out and see I have a text from Shelby.

Oh, great. She’s back from California.

It says hey babe where r u? call me

I sigh and know I should call her, but I really don’t feel like it. I decide to just throw on a hoodie and grab my iPod. I head to the park. I need to clear my head.

I walk past Camryn’s house and my mind starts to wander back to yesterday afternoon. I can’t believe that I might actually like someone who looks like her. I mean I think she’s gorgeous pretty, but what will my friends think of her. She doesn’t act or look the usual girls I go out with. She isn’t a pushover. She has so much confidence. She’s also not stupid; I can actually talk to her. It’s such a turn on. There’s just something about her that makes me tick. Maybe I should stop by and say ‘Hello’. I hesitate for a minute, and then shake my head.

I keep on walking until I make it to the park. I sit on the ground and pull my iPod out of my pocket. I start to lose myself in the drumbeat of the music when I spot her from across the baseball field. She looks like she’s been working out. She has on black yoga pants, a t-shirt and her usual beautiful curly hair is thrown back in a ponytail. She still mangers to look great.

She has her headphones plugged in as well. I wonder what she likes to listen to. She looks in my direction and notices me watching her. She grins and starts to walk in my direction.

I feel my heart start to race and I look back down at my iPod casually.

“Hey.” Camryn’s standing in front of me with a huge grin on her face.

“Oh, hey.” I take out my headphones. She sits down on the ground next to me. She’s a few inches away; I wish she had sat closer.

“Do play?” She points at the basketball game going on.

I grin to myself. When I played basketball, it was the best time of my life.

“Yeah. I loved it.”

“Loved? Don’t you still play?” I couldn’t tell her the truth. I think about lying, then look up into her big brown eyes and know I can’t lie to her.

“No, I don’t. I can’t. I have bad knees. Some old person’s disease. I don’t really like to talk about it.” I can’t believe I just told Camryn something so embarrassing about myself. I look over at her and instead of laughing or grinning like I thought, she seems concerned.

“That’s horrible. Not being able to do the something you love. The thought is unbearable. I mean I love fashion. If I wasn’t able to create beautiful outfits, then I have no idea what I’d do with most of my time.” She smiles. Her smile’s beautiful, just like her.

“Yeah. I just have to find other things to do with all my time. Like listen to music.” I smile and look over at her. She still has one headphone in.

“Oh, so you like music?” She asks me. I thought everyone liked music, but I guess maybe not.

“Uhh…yeah. I mean, I don’t know. I love music more than anything. Music’s like my escape, my escape from the real world. Like when I’m listening to music, it’s only me, the drumbeats and the lyrics.”

“Same. I mean I’ve never been really good at listening to the lyrics, but I love just sitting and listening to the drummer pound the drums with passion, the guitarist jam at his guitar like he doesn’t have a care in the world and the singer belt out verse, after catchy verse. It feels like your being transported to another world. A world where you can be anyone you wanna be and you just don’t have a care in the world.” Camryn tells me, her eyes never leaving mine. She spoke with such passion and confidence in her voice.

“Yeah. Same.” I could barely speak.

“Well, I should be getting back. Movie night with friends. So, I guess I’ll see you at school.” She starts to get up, but I don’t want her to leave yet. I wanna be with her all the time.

“Heyy, wait. Do you want me to walk you home? I mean, we live in the same neighborhood and talking with someone might be more fun than walking by yourself.” Her eyes brighten up immediately. I guess she didn’t want to leave either.

“Sure. That’d be nice.” She grins again. I get up first, then help her to her feet. She’s a lot lighter than you think she’d be.

We start walking back towards our houses. It’s quiet for a few minutes before she breaks the ice. “So, what are you doing tonight?”

I wanted to scream “NOTHING!!”. But instead I just slyly say, “Not much. A little T.V. Homework. Same old, same old.”

“Oh. Cool. Same. I mean a little homework, then movie night at Natalie’s house. We’re watching Captain America.” A girl that likes superheroes. Awesome. I mean I’m a total comic book nerd I like superheroes too.

“Oh, well have fun with that.” I notice she still has one of her headphones in.

“What are you listening to?” I ask, curiously.

“Uhm…nothing. Just…ummm…nothing.” She’s hiding something. She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Seriously what are you listening to? I won’t laugh. I promise.” I’ll try my best.

“You promise?” She hesitantly asks.

“Cross my heart.” I was a boy scout.

“Ok.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m listening to Big Time Rush.”

I can’t contain my laughter. It just came out. And so did some mean things. “Your kidding. You can’t actually be listening to that loser boy band from Nickelodeon can you?” I continued to laugh. That’s when I realize Camryn isn’t laughing with me. “Oh, shit. You were being serious?”

“You asshole. You promised you wouldn’t laugh.” I try to compose myself, but I just can’t help it.

“I know I’m an asshole for laughing, but come on. Big Time Rush? Really?”

Soon Camryn starts laughing as well. “Yeah, I know it’s pathetic, but I just love them for some reason. I know they’re probably auto tuned and don’t really sing, but for some reason I’m just obsessed with them.”

“Whatever floats your boat!” My god, I’m a nerd sometimes.

We continue to laugh for a few minutes. Being with her was just so natural.

“You know, Camryn. I can’t remember a time I’ve laughed this much in a long time.”

“I know.” How would she know. “It’s just that at school I never see you laughing or smiling with your friends. You just never seem like your happy when your with them. Why? I mean do you like your friends. Do you have fun with them?” Camryn asks me. I don’t think I even know the answer to that question.

“I mean, yeah I like my friends don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like I can’t be myself around them. You know what I mean? Like, I have to be a different person when I’m with them.” It sounds worse when I say it out loud.

“Then why do you hang out with your friends?”

I don’t even how to answer that. I’ve never really thought about why I hang out with my friends. So I decide to change it up on her. “Why do you hang out with your friends?”

“I hang out with my friends because I like who I am when I’m with them. I like laughing and not being afraid to be the real me when I’m with them. When I’m with my friends I don’t have to worry about my hair being perfect or wearing the right thing, I just have to make sure we have a great time together. So again, why do you hang out with your friends?” That’s a great answer. I wish I could say something like her response, but I can’t because it’s not true.

“Uhmm…I don’t really don’t know. I’ve just been friends with them forever; so I feel like I’m suppose to be friends with them. Plus it feels good to be popular, I guess.” God, I sounded conceited.

“Oh, okay. I mean don’t you think you can be popular and still have a fun time. To me being popular isn’t based off of who you hang out with or what you wear or how you look. It’s how you are with your friends. How you treat other people. And most importantly how you act. But, that’s just me. You can hangout with who ever you want and do whatever you like.” She made everything seem so easy. Like, making new friends is so simple. I’ve never had a conversation like this with another girl. They’re usually so stupid that you can’t even hold a conversation with them.

“Speaking of friends, do you have a boyfriend?” I say so quietly Camryn can’t even hear me.

“I’m sorry. What’d you say?”

“I just wanted to know…if you had…a boyfriend.” I whisper the last part, but she hears me and starts to blush. I can tell I caught her off guard which seems like something that rarely happens.

She shook her head ‘no’.

“Oh, cool.”

We continue to walk and talk to whole way back to her house. I find out that we have some of the same interests, but also a lot of differences as well. We both love football, just watching not playing and she also loves dogs. She has a yellow lab, that she calls her ‘baby boy’ and she loves the color purple. She also has a special place in her heart for special needs people. I also notice that when she laughs, she covers her mouth and she puts her hair behind her ear when she gets nervous. I also learn that it’s just her and her mom at home. Her dad left before she was even born and she doesn’t have any siblings, even though she wants one more than anything. She loves Harry Potter (the books and the movies) and going to concerts. And lilies are her favorite flower. She talks so much I barely say anything, but I don’t mind. I like listening to her.

When we arrive at her house, I walk her to her door.

“Well, thanks for walking me home.” She says, tucking the same loose strand of hair behind her ear again.

“Yeah, no problem. I had a lot of fun. We should do this again.” I start to rub the back of my neck, my habit when I’m nervous.

I start to lean in, as does she, then I realize she pulls away.

“Something’s vibrating in your pants.” Holy shit. I look down and see that it’s just my phone. Thank God!

It’s another text from Shelby. Hey im @ ur house where the fuck r u?

I close my phone and shove it back in my pocket. I look up at Camryn and she’s just standing there, looking even more nervous than before.

She starts to open the front door, but I stop her and pull her close to me. I lean in for a kiss and she accepts. It doesn’t last very long, but I feel something I’ve never felt before.

She pulls away first, then fiddles with the door handle before entering the house. She turns back and smiles. I smile back and wave goodbye.

I turn from the door, grinning like an idiot, hands in my front pocket. My grin soon turns into a frown when I spot Shelby sprinting towards me, hands high in the air. She runs over and jumps onto me. I catch her and she presses her lips to mine. We continue like that for a minute or two, before I drop her feet to the ground and she looks up at me.

She smiles, and then asks “Did ya miss me?”