Status: Working on new chapters!
Whoa Oh!
Why?
Actually, I could use some help unpacking. No they can hang out and stuff. I can do it myself. So many boxes. I push the one with the pictures aside. I don't want to risk finding another picture that will make me sad. I'll just do that later. It sure is quiet in here. My stereo is in this mess somewhere. Oh here. I put Green Day's Dookie in and start singing quietly to myself. Unpacking these boxes was like taking a trip down memory lane. I found old clothes from when I was little. Old school art projects. It made me realize how simple life was back then. The biggest thing you had to worry about was what you would be having for lunch. The biggest decision you had to make was whether to play on the swings or the slide. I missed those days. Life was perfect. Now my life is just a mess. My mother is gone. My father wants absolutely nothing to do with me and I feel the same way about him.
"Hey you hungry?" Jonathan asked, standing in my door frame.
"No not really."
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing. I'm just thinking."
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked.
"Not really."
"Okay well if you need to talk to anybody, I'm here for you," he said.
"Okay. Thanks."
"No problem."
I have made some stupid choices. I used to sneak out to see my friends when I was grounded which caused me to get into even more trouble. My father was a drunk. That's something I have never told anybody. When he drank, he wasn't himself. He would hit me and my mom. I started to cut myself. I felt worthless. Since then, I've tried to stop but it never works. With that, I grab my razor and go into my bathroom. I watch as the blood runs down my arms and drips into the sink. It hurts. It takes away the pain my father caused me. I heard someone walking into my room. Crap! What am I gonna do? They're gonna see me like this and think I'm suicidal or something!
"Ann you okay. Jonathan sai- What are you doing?!" It's Austin. I break down in tears and fall to my knees.
"Austin don't leave me. I'm sorry." I say between sobs.
"Sh-shh. It's okay I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
I continue to cry uncontrollably.
"Why are you doing this?" he asks. I proceed to tell him about my father beating me and my mother.
"You need to stop doing this to yourself," he said.
"I know I've tried. I just can't."
"It's okay. Me and the guys will help you through this," he says. "Unless you don't want me to tell them."
"Please don't tell them."
"I won't."
"I'm tired Austin. I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"Okay I'll see you in the morning."
The Next Morning (Sunday)
"Wake up Anni. It's time to go to church," Jonathan says, shaking me softly. I get up and get ready. We all go to church together. It was nice. I always enjoy going to church.
"Okay. Now when we get back to the house, we're gonna change into some normal clothes and hit the movies," Caleb says.
"YAY MOVIES!!" screams Kyle. I still can't help but laugh at that boy. We got home, I changed, and we all got back into the car. I sat in the front with Austin this time and the guys in the back squeezed together real tight. They fit. Barely.
"So what are we gonna see today?" Caleb asks.
"MEGAMIND!" Kyle shouts.
"Why would you wanna see Megamind?" asks Jonathan.
"Um because it's awesome," Kyle adds.
"Okay. Megamind it is," Austin says.
Today I sat between Kyle and Austin. I think Caleb gets that I don't like him the way he likes me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Wow, that movie was awesome!" Kyle says.
"Well yeah! Did you expect it to be anything less than awesome?" I ask.
"Nope. C'mon. Let's run to the car so we can get there first," he says grabbing my forearm causing me to cry out in pain.
"AH!" I squeal.
"Are you okay?" He grabs my arm to see why I was in pain. "Why? Why did you do this?" I explained everything to him just like I did with Austin. "Does anyone else know?"
"Yeah Austin does. He said he wouldn't tell anyone. I don't want you to tell anyone either."
"Okay I won't. I'm gonna help you," he said pulling me into a tight hug. By now, the guys were coming into view.
"Thank you," I whisper to him. He doesn't say anything. He just hugs me tighter.
"Hey you hungry?" Jonathan asked, standing in my door frame.
"No not really."
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing. I'm just thinking."
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked.
"Not really."
"Okay well if you need to talk to anybody, I'm here for you," he said.
"Okay. Thanks."
"No problem."
I have made some stupid choices. I used to sneak out to see my friends when I was grounded which caused me to get into even more trouble. My father was a drunk. That's something I have never told anybody. When he drank, he wasn't himself. He would hit me and my mom. I started to cut myself. I felt worthless. Since then, I've tried to stop but it never works. With that, I grab my razor and go into my bathroom. I watch as the blood runs down my arms and drips into the sink. It hurts. It takes away the pain my father caused me. I heard someone walking into my room. Crap! What am I gonna do? They're gonna see me like this and think I'm suicidal or something!
"Ann you okay. Jonathan sai- What are you doing?!" It's Austin. I break down in tears and fall to my knees.
"Austin don't leave me. I'm sorry." I say between sobs.
"Sh-shh. It's okay I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
I continue to cry uncontrollably.
"Why are you doing this?" he asks. I proceed to tell him about my father beating me and my mother.
"You need to stop doing this to yourself," he said.
"I know I've tried. I just can't."
"It's okay. Me and the guys will help you through this," he says. "Unless you don't want me to tell them."
"Please don't tell them."
"I won't."
"I'm tired Austin. I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"Okay I'll see you in the morning."
The Next Morning (Sunday)
"Wake up Anni. It's time to go to church," Jonathan says, shaking me softly. I get up and get ready. We all go to church together. It was nice. I always enjoy going to church.
"Okay. Now when we get back to the house, we're gonna change into some normal clothes and hit the movies," Caleb says.
"YAY MOVIES!!" screams Kyle. I still can't help but laugh at that boy. We got home, I changed, and we all got back into the car. I sat in the front with Austin this time and the guys in the back squeezed together real tight. They fit. Barely.
"So what are we gonna see today?" Caleb asks.
"MEGAMIND!" Kyle shouts.
"Why would you wanna see Megamind?" asks Jonathan.
"Um because it's awesome," Kyle adds.
"Okay. Megamind it is," Austin says.
Today I sat between Kyle and Austin. I think Caleb gets that I don't like him the way he likes me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Wow, that movie was awesome!" Kyle says.
"Well yeah! Did you expect it to be anything less than awesome?" I ask.
"Nope. C'mon. Let's run to the car so we can get there first," he says grabbing my forearm causing me to cry out in pain.
"AH!" I squeal.
"Are you okay?" He grabs my arm to see why I was in pain. "Why? Why did you do this?" I explained everything to him just like I did with Austin. "Does anyone else know?"
"Yeah Austin does. He said he wouldn't tell anyone. I don't want you to tell anyone either."
"Okay I won't. I'm gonna help you," he said pulling me into a tight hug. By now, the guys were coming into view.
"Thank you," I whisper to him. He doesn't say anything. He just hugs me tighter.
♠ ♠ ♠
Getting better. See?