Status: maybe daily maybe weekly maybe not
Bandersnatches and Scapegoats
13 November 2011
Been a goddamn while. But what do I care, no promises here.
At work today some woman ordered a large decaf cappuccino with pumpkin flavouring.
It's like buying an oriental rug at Burlington Coat Factory, so we charge her $3.65.
I make her fancy drink, give it to her, and five minutes later she's back in the huge lunch-rush line and comin' all up to me with her cappuccino.
I think they put to much flavouring in this or something, it's so sweet! Can I have another one with no flavour at all?
She pushes the large cup over the counter at me. I didn't miss her strategic placement of they in stead of you. She knows I laboured over the goddamn thing.
Okay, I say, and I'm all nice about it. And I charge another $3.65 and turn to put her order slip at the cooking counter.
Oh, you don't understand, she says, I can't drink this, it's too sweet. They made it wrong. In other words, she wants another big-ass drink free.
I gave her the I'm-the-one-making-you-food stare, sorta like givin' someone the finger on the road. But I say fine. Fuck that, though.
Every way I look at it, even from Miss Gooch's perspective, it was not my fucking fault. She asked for pumpkin spice flavouring, and I goddamn put it in there! Lucas agrees with me, says what does she think flavouring is? It's raw corn syrup. With some artificial pumpkin shite. Does she think we go out back and beat some pumpkins to death for her authentic aroma and flavour? It's a goddamn syrupy bottle; she can even see it from line.
Gooch ordered a decaf capp with pumpkin, and that's what I gave her. If her palate was so delicate she was incapable of drinking a sweet beverage, it was her responsibility to tell me.
Goddamnit, who picks on the kid at register? I have a fuckin' APUSH test to study for, and Miss Gooch just had to ruin my day. I'd rather be back at goddamn Madden's washing dishes all day.
--
Do you realize, kids, that this country was fought for under the banner of taxation without representation? We wanted a hand in government matters if they were going to suck our blood. But look at me, America. I'm 16. I give the government over $24 in taxes for every workday. WHERE IS MY REPRESENTATION?
At work today some woman ordered a large decaf cappuccino with pumpkin flavouring.
It's like buying an oriental rug at Burlington Coat Factory, so we charge her $3.65.
I make her fancy drink, give it to her, and five minutes later she's back in the huge lunch-rush line and comin' all up to me with her cappuccino.
I think they put to much flavouring in this or something, it's so sweet! Can I have another one with no flavour at all?
She pushes the large cup over the counter at me. I didn't miss her strategic placement of they in stead of you. She knows I laboured over the goddamn thing.
Okay, I say, and I'm all nice about it. And I charge another $3.65 and turn to put her order slip at the cooking counter.
Oh, you don't understand, she says, I can't drink this, it's too sweet. They made it wrong. In other words, she wants another big-ass drink free.
I gave her the I'm-the-one-making-you-food stare, sorta like givin' someone the finger on the road. But I say fine. Fuck that, though.
Every way I look at it, even from Miss Gooch's perspective, it was not my fucking fault. She asked for pumpkin spice flavouring, and I goddamn put it in there! Lucas agrees with me, says what does she think flavouring is? It's raw corn syrup. With some artificial pumpkin shite. Does she think we go out back and beat some pumpkins to death for her authentic aroma and flavour? It's a goddamn syrupy bottle; she can even see it from line.
Gooch ordered a decaf capp with pumpkin, and that's what I gave her. If her palate was so delicate she was incapable of drinking a sweet beverage, it was her responsibility to tell me.
Goddamnit, who picks on the kid at register? I have a fuckin' APUSH test to study for, and Miss Gooch just had to ruin my day. I'd rather be back at goddamn Madden's washing dishes all day.
--
Do you realize, kids, that this country was fought for under the banner of taxation without representation? We wanted a hand in government matters if they were going to suck our blood. But look at me, America. I'm 16. I give the government over $24 in taxes for every workday. WHERE IS MY REPRESENTATION?
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era vulgarisssss