Cliché

She was aware of his eyes on her all night.

It was hard not to return it. Allison hadn’t seen Kris in months. Up close, anyway. She didn’t count the sightings on TV during games, telling herself she wasn’t watching for Kris. She watched for Marc and Jordan and for the rest of the guys. Just because things had ended with Kris didn’t mean they ended between her and the rest of the team. They were her friends, too.

Which brought Allison to Thunder Bay, Ontario in late June. Wedding season.

A cold beer sat untouched in front of her on the table, its glass surface slick with condensation. Allison scanned the banquet hall, sifting through crowds to see who was drunk and who wasn’t. The number of sober guests quickly dwindled after news of Jordan’s spur-of-the-moment trade - announced right in the middle of his own wedding’s reception - and Allison quickly realized she might be the last uninfluenced guest left.

Her eyes fell on a burly man in a crisp white button-down - fitted just enough to hint at the bulk of muscle concealed beneath the expensive fabric. Allison’s eyes moved up to the mop of brown hair, styled into that signature tangled mess. Oh, Kris. Always so well-dressed; always so handsome. Allison sighed quietly to herself and finally picked up her beer. Time to extinguish the last of the sober.

“Allison! Why are you not dancing?”

Allison’s ears perked at the familiar French accent. Vero took a seat beside her at the table, her elegant updo long gone, having morphed into a mess of raven black curls. Her face looked smooth and glowing, pretty as always, but the slight haze in her gaze told Allison that she had taken advantage of the open bar, as well.

Allison shrugged her answer. “I’m alright,” she lied, unable to keep her eyes from flicking to Kris as she spoke.

Vero followed her gaze. “Don’t worry about ‘im,” she insisted, placing her hand on Allison’s and giving a squeeze. “Don’t let ‘im keep you from ‘aving fun. Promise?”

Allison’s gaze dropped to the beer in front of her. Maybe Vero was right. “Promise.”

“Good! Now come and dance!” Vero was already out of her seat, pulling Allison along by her hand.

“Alright,” Allison agreed, though it’s not like she had much of a choice.

---

Five-and-a-half inch heels had no place on the dance floor, but Allison chose them over going barefoot on the beer-soaked floor. Leave it to Jordan to throw the party of the year at his own wedding. Hard to think he’d been traded considering the happy-go-lucky attitude he wore. Then again, his worries about the trade were probably long drown by the hefty amount of alcohol he’d managed to consume since the announcement.

Eventually the fast-beat music gave way to the opening chords of a slow song. Us Against The World by Coldplay, Allison quickly identified. It was incredible how quickly the crowd shifted, transitioning from high speeds and limb flailing to everyone clinging to each other in what felt like two seconds. Allison jumped when she felt a hand slide against the small of her back, her guard immediately going up. She relaxed a moment later when she realized it was only Jordan.

“Where’s Heather?” Allison asked, one hand going up to rest on his shoulder as he grabbed hold of her other hand. Maybe it had been a good thing she’d kept her heels on - there was no way she’d be able to match up with Jordan’s unreal height while barefoot.

“Having a heart-to-heart or something like that,” Jordan dismissed with a quiet chuckle, nodding somewhere just behind her. Allison twisted around and searched the throngs of swaying people, spotting a blonde in a white dress tangled with two of the bridesmaids in a drunken group dance-hug. All three had tears streaking their faces while they patted each other’s back soothingly.

“She should be fun tonight,” Allison joked, turning back to Jordan, who was looking around at nothing in particular as he hummed along to the song. She squeezed his hand softly. “How are you doing?”

He shrugged beneath her hand. “Fine right now,” he said. Allison could smell a hint of alcohol on his breath, but decided he wasn’t as drunk as she thought. “I’m sure it’ll all hit me pretty soon.”

Allison felt a sad smile tug at her lips. “I’ll miss you in Pittsburgh,” she told him, letting her head fall against his broad chest as they swayed to the music. He was the closest to a brother that Allison had.

In response, he hugged her a little closer. “How are you doing?” he asked, his voice a deep vibration against her cheek. He didn’t need to clarify for Allison to know what he was talking about.

Allison shrugged, pulling back to look at him. “It’s weird, you know? I don’t think I’m mad about it so much anymore, but I feel like I should be. I just feel so tired. I don’t know.” She shrugged again.

“He’s sorry.”

Allison blinked. “What?”

“He feels horrible,” Jordan said. “I’ve never seen him like this. He doesn’t do much anymore. Hardly saw him outside of the rink before the season ended. And did you see him at all during playoffs? It was like him against the world. You changed him.”

To her own dismay, Allison had watched him during the playoffs. And Jordan was right. Her heart sunk a little.

“Can I step in?”

Speak of the devil.

Allison felt her entire body go icy. Jordan’s, too. Slowly, she turned her head. Kris stood there, arms behind his back in an innocent gesture, looking every bit as breathtaking as he had the first time she’d met him. His eyes flicked between her and Jordan unsurely, as if he’d asked for the world in that single question.

“You’ll be alright?” she heard Jordan say only loud enough for her to hear. His grip had gone from friendly to protective.

Allison gave a small nod and Jordan let his hand fall from her waist. He offered Kris her hand like a gentleman before disappearing into the crowd, no doubt watching from afar.

Kris’ hold on Allison replaced Jordan’s, but it didn’t feel the same. While Jordan gave off a secure, brotherly vibe, Kris’ felt strong and familiar, though a little unsure.

“Hi Kris,” Allison felt herself say. Her insides should have been tumbling over themselves with nerves right now, yet somehow she felt cool and relaxed. Like there was nothing she needed to worry about.

Kris’ dark eyes studied her, trying to gauge her emotions. But her composed face wouldn’t budge. Instead, he let his gaze find hers and held it there. “You look so beautiful tonight, Allison.” His words were a little shaky, like he had to dare himself to say that aloud.

Allison’s brow furrowed a little, unsure of how she should respond to that. Thank you? So do you? Instead, she stayed silent and swayed in time with the music, letting the lyrics do all the talking.

And tonight I know it all has to begin again
So whatever you do, don’t let go

It was a weird case of déjà vu, dancing with him like that. She felt the same comfort and safeness as she had back when they were new and still discovering each other. When they could lay against each other forever just enjoying one another’s touch. And boy, did she love his touch. The way his hand pressed against her lower back; the way his fingers felt around hers. But she could feel the difference, too - feel the invisible distance between them. A gap that couldn’t ever be completely filled.

And if we could float away
Fly up to the surface and just start again
And lift off before trouble
Just erodes us in the rain

“I love you, Allison,” Kris said, his lips near her ear. “I know I fucked up. But I’ll always love you.”

Allison squeezed her eyes shut. It was so easy to forgive him when he spoke the words she always craved. But the newer, smarter Allison knew better. She couldn’t forgive him again. Not completely. But even this newer, smarter Allison knew that this could be a start.

“Say something,” Kris coaxed, like his sole being depended on a response from her. She could tell her silence was driving him insane. They were so close that she could feel his breaths. Ragged. Shallow. This was really taking a toll on him. Much like it had on her. Allison had forgotten about the idea of revenge months ago, the night when Kris left. She hadn’t felt the need to - it’d just be prodding at an already open wound. But now, she realized, this was all the revenge she needed. The power she held over him now. He was wrapped around her finger. She finally had the upper hand. But just the thought of that was revenge enough - she knew better than to take advantage of that.

Allison leaned back, just far enough so she could look into Kris’ eyes. The sadness welled up in them nearly broke her heart a third time. Jordan was right - she’d never seen him like this before.

Allison exhaled a long breath through her nose, not having to dwell much on her next words before she spoke them. “There’s not much to say,” she told him, keeping her eyes on his. And really, there wasn’t. What had gone on between them in the past was all history now. No amount of wise words in the world could fix it.

Kris was silent, but she could tell he understood. His touch did all the speaking for him - holding her like it was the last time, and he wouldn’t take it for granted. Allison responded to the touch, too, letting herself fully relax against him and - for just the closing lines of the song - pretended they were brand new again.

Through chaos as it swirls
Its us against the world