Summer Shadows

It wasn’t exactly loud, but there was enough noise to pull me to the waking world once more. Muddled voices, mostly. This time, I could see the brightness on the backs of my eyelids. Opening them felt like a Herculean task; the throbbing in my skull relentless in it’s insistence that I be miserable. It dully register that my attempts to pull my arm up to cover my eyes was completely failed, and with a regrettable movement that sent more shockwaves of pain through my head, I turned my neck enough to peek my eyes open just a tad in an attempt to find the source of the resistance.

Everything was white; except the fuzzy figure donned head to toe in a neutral blue. They had a hold on my hand as they wrapped it in a white bandage. The stinging scent of disinfectant reached my nostrils as a few hazy memories of The Bad Place flitted to the forefront of my mind. Hospitals, God I hated hospitals.

A strange sound emitted from my throat as my location began to register on some level; and the man in blue looked up, pausing his wrapping.

“…Ms. Walton?”

I nodded slightly and brought about a fresh wave of pain as I used my other hand to cover my eyes. Migraine; of course it was a migraine. “God, my head.”

“Do you remember what happened, Ms. Walton? At all?”

For a doctor—or a nurse—whichever he may have been, his voice would have been soothing had it not been for the constant pounding on my skull. I didn’t want to try to think; I didn’t want to do anything but find myself in a quiet, dark, confined space until the pain in my head went away. The lights weren’t helping; any sound at all wasn’t helping, and movement? Absolutely not.

“Migraine. Please. Please be quiet. Please.”

There was a pause, and I felt him release my hand. When he spoke again it was just above a whisper. “I’ll get you something for that; give me just a moment, okay?”

There was the briefest sound of shuffling before the space did, in fact, go quiet. And for a small time, the throbbing dulled. I tried to remember just what had happened, and faintly, I did recall the back of a car. But before that…

“Ms. Walton? I brought you something to help, here.”

This was a somewhat different voice, older, scratchier, and not so quiet or soft. I pulled my hand back from my eyes, peering out at the elderly man with the droopy eyes and long receded hairline. In one hand he held a small cup I assumed had the pills, the other essentially a little Dixie cup of water. I moved to reach out with my bandaged hand, staring at it for a moment instead. I couldn’t so much as recall how that had happened.

“I was informed you had a seizure of sorts when you were in the kitchen making lunch, which resulted in… this.” He held out the cup with the pills again. And instead I took it with the uninjured hand. I tossed the pills back before taking the water from him to chase them with. “I’m Doctor Thames; I’d like to run a few tests, if that’s alright with you.”

I stayed silent, staring intently at the cup in my hands. A seizure? My head felt as though it was ready to explode, enough for the prospective throbbing in my hand to seem like nothing at all. Something had happened; obviously something bad. And as it seemed, I was alone in a hospital without—

“Katie and Simon,” I mumbled, brow furrowing.

“Your friends? They’re here with you. They were the ones who brought you in. Don’t worry; they’re just in the waiting room. I had Jamie go tell them you were awake, finally. Now, Ms. Walton; about these tests.”

It felt like a puzzle, and someone else had all the pieces I needed. I tried to slide things into place; Katie and Simon; we had all been together, in the Dreyton’s kitchen. And then… and then? And then what?

Something was there; something that felt blocked off, and the more I thought about it, the worse my head throbbed. I let out a slight groan, leaning forward as I clutched my head. What was it? What was wrong?

“Ms. Walton? Are you alright?” Dr. Thames sounded more than a bit apprehensive as he spoke.

“I’m. I’m fine.” That was a blatant lie. “Just. No tests, please. My head is killing me. It’s just a migraine. I’m fine.”

“Please, Ms. Walton, I very much insist you let us run some tests. It could be nothing, but then again, it could be something quite serious.” He’d gone from simply concerned to concerned and somewhat exasperated very quickly. I couldn’t exactly blame him. But something had happened; and I felt as though it wasn’t related to my health. Other people might have had answers, but they weren’t in the room to give them to me at the time.

I shook my head. “Please, no tests. If it happens again I will. But. Not today.”

Thames made no attempt to even mask his displeasure at my response, picking up the clipboard on the bedside table and aggressively scribbling something as he avoided looking at me. “The pain in your hand is probably going to be bad for a few days; take Aspirin as you need it, and please, try to refrain from getting it wet. We can schedule a checkup to remove the stitches in about two weeks, providing you don’t have any issues with it before then. If you do, or, if you find yourself more open to some tests, I’d suggest you come back. You’re free to go at your discretion, Ms. Walton.”

Thames wasn’t long out of the room before I swung my legs over the side of the bed, taking a moment to hold my head. The migraines had been fairly kind the last few months; this was the worst one I could recall in quite some time. If I could get out of the hospital, Simon and Katie would be able to get me somewhere quiet to wait it out—and maybe some answers after; god knows I wasn’t about to do it in a hospital.

The walk from the room I’d been in, through the nurses’ area, and back to the waiting room felt like a miserable dream. I was almost so focused on the pain I hadn’t realized I’d gotten myself out until a familiar voice cut through the background noise I was trying my best to ignore.

“Maggie—What—“

I looked over with a wince; Simon was maneuvering around a few people waiting to talk to the woman at the desk to reach me, a look of pure concern on his face. Seeing him brought a sense of relief, and I moved forward to meet him. I crashed into his arms without any thought, pressing my face against his chest. He almost seemed shocked; momentarily motionless before one of his hands found it’s way into my hair, the other carefully wrapped around me. He let out a slow breath, leaning down just enough to press a kiss on the top of my head.

“You’re… are you okay? I thought they were going to run some tests,” he mumbled.

I regrettably gave my head a little shake, as it prompted another wave of throbbing misery to my skull. “No tests, not today. Really bad migraine, I just… can we please get out of here?”

Simon didn’t reply immediately, but heaved a sigh, almost sounding dejected. “Yeah, let’s get you out of here. Katie and Cal are waiting by the car. She needed a smoke after… everything.”

He pulled back enough to put an arm around my shoulder, gently guiding me through the hospital waiting room. I tried to take slow breaths; willing myself to believe the pain wasn’t as bad as it actually was, to no avail.

“…Everything?”

Simon paused. “Yeah, after you told her everything, about me, you, what happened in January, and then after that…”

He trailed off, and I looked up at him as we exited the hospital. I briefly caught his expression; slightly perplexed, brow furrowed in confusion or concern—maybe both—as he studied me. The day had become somewhat overcast, but still all together too bright, so I quickly looked back down, squeezing my eyes shut for just a second.

“Maggie,” he spoke slowly, somewhat cautiously. “What do you remember happened before… you woke up here?”

We walked slowly; he seemed to have settled on a pace that was comfortable for me. I thought on his question for a few steps, slowly recalling how I’d spilled everything to Katie about what was going on with the help of Simon, and from there, nothing.

“Just that… we told her. From there it’s just. Black.” It wasn’t hard to fathom why he had asked; because it echoed how I’d felt since I woke up in the hospital not long before. “I’m missing something, aren’t I? They said I had a seizure. And… my hand.”

In the distance, at the back of the parking lot I could see Katie leaning against a car, Cal at her side. They seemed deep in conversation, a cigarette between her fingers. They hadn’t noticed us yet.

“We’ll talk about it once your migraine is gone. For the moment, let’s just focus on getting you somewhere quiet, okay?”

As badly as I wanted to know what had happened, on some level, simultaneously I didn’t. An odd sensation of prickling dread rolled over me at the prospect. I wasn’t going to fight Simon on this one. Up ahead, Katie finally took notice of us. She dropped her cigarette, snubbing it on the pavement before she began to make her way towards us.

I managed a reply before she got too close.“…Yeah. Okay.”

Katie didn’t even have a chance to get a word out when Simon held his hand up; her pace slowed immediately. She looked frazzled, and I had a feeling she had every reason to look and feel as such.

“She’s got a migraine. We need to keep it down for a bit, and we’ll talk about it all once it’s passed, okay, Katie?”

She looked between us, bewilderment becoming more and more apparent. Cal stepped up behind her, hand on her shoulder.

“If you need somewhere quiet, Belmond is closer than driving back to Palms. We can wait it out at my family’s suite. I think we all have some things we need to talk about sooner rather than later, anyways.”

“Actually, that’d be great, yeah. Thanks,” Simon accepted Cal’s offer without a moment’s pause.

“You good, Katie?” Cal gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as he spoke, we all headed towards his car, parked not too far away.

“Another smoke would probably be nice on the way there. Christ on a cracker, how… do y’all deal with this?” She glanced over her shoulder at me as we walked, watching me almost the way Simon had; as though she was searching for something.

“I’ve had it mostly calm, unlike these two jackasses. They kind of bring the storm with them, I guess,” Cal gave a little laugh, whatever he was joking about didn’t quite feel like a joke to me. I was definitely missing something; whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

I opted to keep my silence for more reasons than one; the four of us piling into Cal’s car in the sticky heat of the afternoon. I tried to doze on Simon’s shoulder during the drive that followed; but every time I opened my eyes, Katie’s stare was settled pointedly on me in the rear view mirror.

***

Belmond, was actually the Belmond Charleston Place; the hotel/shopping center in downtown that Cal’s family owned. It was the place we’d dropped his car off when he had brought me down town for the carriage ride. We made it inside without any difficulty, and up to his family’s suite rather quickly. An edge had come off my migraine by then, but I still needed a little time to be completely freed from its hold.

We had barely made it in the door when Cal muttered to Simon. “You guys can take her to the guest room, pretty sure you remember where that is.”

Somewhere else in their second home, I could hear someone moving around. From a quick glance at Cal’s face, whoever it was, wasn’t exactly going to be a sight for sore eyes.

“Actually, I think I’ll stay with you. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting your dear ol’ dad, and of all days, this sure as hell is one I’ll gladly spit some southern sweetness coated venom at the man if I have to,” Katie spoke up, an edge in her tone almost as if she was looking for a fight. God knows she may have been.

Cal looked over, a slow grin spreading across his face. “God, that’s hot. Have I told you that?”

Katie cocked an eyebrow, arms crossed over her chest as she gave him an almost reproachful look. “Of all damn days and of all damn times, now is when you choose to inform me that a girl with an attitude turns you on. Why in the fresh hell have I been holding it back?”

“Implying this is a normal thing? Because hot damn I didn’t think I could like you any more than I already do. Hit me with it, baby.”

Katie let out a slight growl, slapping his arm as he laughed. She herself, was fighting back a grin. From down the hall, another voice came. “Cal, is that you?”

With that, Simon took my hand and veered me away from the main living area, and down a hall to our left. There were three doors—one on the left, two on the right-- and we took the second one on the right.

“Is there something wrong with us being here? I don’t want to cause problems,” I spoke quietly, wondering if in fact we were intruding on something. Simon immediately shook his head, shutting the door carefully behind us. There was a bed in the corner, and two windows on the far wall that had a pretty view of the city. I watched as he went and pulled the blinds down, dragging the curtains shut soon thereafter. The darkness that enveloped the room was a relief. My feet moved in the direction of the bed, eyes slowly and gratefully adjusting to the change in light.

“We’re fine. Cal’s father is… a bit of a scumbag, to put it mildly. Especially when it comes to younger, female workers in the hotel,” he spoke softly as I settled myself on the bed, making his way over to where I was. “It wouldn’t be the first time Cal caught him with one of them up here. Lets just hope that isn’t the case today, we’ve all got enough to deal with.”

“Did… Did I do something to cause all of this? Katie being so upset she had to smoke, you looking so worried, the whole… hospital thing.” I looked down at my bandaged hand, and back up at Simon. “I mean, I had to, didn’t I?”

He cupped my face gently, tilting it back up so we were looking at each other in the darkened room. “You did nothing wrong, Maggie. Absolutely nothing. I need you to understand that, okay? We’ll talk about all of this in a bit when you’re feeling better. But this is not your fault. I’m a little surprised you…”

Simon trailed off, brow furrowing again before he gave his head a little shake. “Nothing. Never mind. I’m going to let you get some rest.”

“But—“

He cut me off with a little shush, gently placing a kiss on my forehead, followed by a comforting smile. After that, he pulled away. “We’ll be out here when you’re feeling better.”

Simon left me then, the light from the hall briefly filtering into the darkened room as he opened and closed the door. I stood there in the darkness, momentarily staring at the door before heaving a sigh, rubbing my face with my non-bandaged hand. I could faintly feel the heated throb of what I could only assume to be one hell of a nasty cut in the palm of my hand as I crawled onto the bed, taking one of the pillows and putting it over my face to assure total darkness. From there, it was a matter of lying still until the pain in my head left; and then waiting a while to be on the safe side, and finally possibly moving with the prayer it was actually gone, and not just about to flare up again.

I laid there for what felt like seconds and hours simultaneously. Time was passing, at a pace the migraine wouldn’t allow me to process correctly at all. But that was how it always went when I tried to get rid of the damned things. So I waited quietly in the dark; and slowly but surely, with no movement, noise, or light, the pain actually faded to nothing. At least the pain in my head did. My hand had taken up a distinct and miserable throbbing that presumably was going to persist for far longer than I wanted to consider.

“So you’re prone to migraines? I remember those.”

The shock of hearing a voice in the room—let alone a somewhat familiar female voice that definitely wasn’t Katie’s—lodged an iron ball in the pit of my stomach and caused my eyes to shoot open. The pain, pleasantly, wasn’t there. I knew I hadn’t dozed off, not fully at least. I would have heard someone come in. It prompted the question of how, and why.

Moving the pillow, I sat up slowly, trying to ease myself into an upright position to make sure I avoided bringing the migraine back. But I could see her clearly; a little too clearly in fact, over by the covered windows with her arms crossed, foot propped against the wall behind her.

Lillian almost glowed in the dark with an all too familiar, ethereal clarity. She stared at me with a smile, and waved.

“Cat’s out of the bag, I suppose. Or it was going to be. Hi, Maggie. How’re you feeling? You did a number on Darren, you know. I’ve never heard the dead scream like that, and for such a long time,” she paused. “For the experience I’ve had, that is.”

I stared right back at her in silence; still somewhat shocked, and trying to process her presence—not to mention her words. “Wait, you’re…”

“Dead? Or Cal’s sister? Because it’s a yes to both. It’ll be two years this July.”

I could feel my mouth hanging open a tad as the gears in my mind slowly began to turn; come to think of it, no one else had been with me when I spoke to her during our few interactions; and that night on the beach she’d scared me with her quiet and sudden appearance. It also hit me in a flash, the day on the phone back in Rhode Island; the female voice I’d heard on the phone was definitely… hers. And Cal’s angry reaction to my inquiring about his sister. Oh. Oh dear.

The mention of Darren also filtered in behind the initial reveal of just what Lillian was; she knew about him. And it seemed more than that. Hadn’t Darren mentioned another spirit had warned him to stay away from me on that same weekend I’d heard Cal’s sister through the phone? How exactly were they intertwined, if at all? I could feel my guard rising, and a sickening sensation at the mention of my dead ex.

“What. Do you mean, what I did to Darren.” I kept my voice low, trying to stop the slight tremor that wanted to break through.

“You pushed him out, of course. Or maybe ‘pushed’ is like. A bit too gentle?” She tapped a nail on her lip, thinking for just a second before her eyes lit up, and she clapped her hands together. “You ripped him out, Maggie! Somehow. You ripped him out of your body and I think if we could die, you almost did him in. He still couldn’t materialize when I left. Just. Scream. I mean he like, tried? And I could see bits and pieces of him but. He couldn’t keep it together, and he sure as hell was in excruciating pain. Have you done that before?”

It hit then, what she meant, and what I was missing; my stomach completely bottomed out and I felt as though I was going to be ill. I couldn’t recall anything because I hadn’t been in control. Darren had. I remembered his voice, and a tug, and the fear, dread, and adamant rejection of what was about to take place. I hadn’t wanted it, I was terrified and I hadn’t wanted it. I couldn’t remember anything because my mind had also decided to shut out what little of the memory I had; some part of me knew it wouldn’t settle well; it wouldn’t settle well at all.

My hand came up to cover my mouth as I stared at the floor, suddenly feeling dirty in my own skin. He’d taken it as his, even just temporarily and—oh my god. Things made sense in the worst sort of way. The urge for a shower was sudden and undeniable; I wanted to wash it off; wash it away if at all possible. Would that make me feel better?

In what little bit of dim light the room had, I could see the white gauze wrapped around my hand, and the gash there. That was because of him; what had he done? Had he tried to hurt Katie again? Maybe Simon this time? Had he really used my own body to torment and hurt two of the last living people I cared about?

“Hey—Oh jeez, do I need to go get Simon? Are you okay over there?”

I continued to stare at my hand, giving my head a little shake. I then knew of sorts what had happened, but not the details. “I. What. What happened, what did I—What did he do?”

Lillian actually went quiet for a moment, and I looked up to see if she was still there. She was; her face knitted into an expression of uncertainty and concern. “I’m starting to think I really shouldn’t have said anything, oh my god. I didn’t realize you had no idea—“

“Its. It’s okay. I was going to find out sooner or later.” I tried to keep my voice even and as calm as possible; I wasn’t sure how well I was going to be able to keep that up. “I just… need to know. Did he do anything to them, or.”

The ghost of a girl before me suddenly seemed uncertain of herself, chewing on her lip; as if a mistake had been made. Perhaps it had. Perhaps this would have been better to learn with the group of three that was presumably somewhere else in the suite, waiting on me.

“I can’t give you all the details, because I wasn’t there for it. But, Cal got worried when Katie didn’t answer her phone—especially after the whole Darren incident, because they were supposed to go do something together. He didn’t have to ask me to check on things; I just did. Because what else to I have to do like this, y’know?” She shrugged; tone much more resigned this time. “He was already, er, well. In control by the time I slipped in. And I think Simon pissed him off a bit. He wanted to have a go at them, but Simon kind of… redirected his desire for revenge, I think.”

The knots in my stomach wouldn’t lessen, twisting and turning in a most uncomfortable fashion. “What do you mean by that, exactly.”

“Look, is this really okay for us to be discussing, we could always go and—“

“No, you started this, and you’re going to finish it. What did he do. What else happened.” My voice was deadpan and demanding; I was going to get my answers one way or another, from a source that wouldn’t try to sugar coat it or hide the bad parts for my sake. I needed to know the truth of what had gone down, and I knew Simon well enough to know there would probably be omissions; omissions meant to protect me. I would do that for him, I had no doubts he would do the same for me.

Lillian had no reason to have that mindset; no reason to hide details for my ease of mind. I needed to get it out of her.

“He just. Told him none of it was your fault. I heard that much. He told Darren what had happened to him was on his hands, and not yours. And I think… I think Darren believed it. Which is why he… well. I think he was going to hurt you. But then, whatever you did to him happened. It really looked like a seizure. And that was when I went and got Cal.”

So Simon had changed Darren’s focus; that realization sent a wave of mixed emotions through me. On one hand, Darren could possibly focus his attention on myself then, not so much Katie or Simon, or anyone else. Having a target on my back seemed better than either one of them being in the direct line of fire. That didn’t bother me; what bothered me was the uncertainty that Darren would follow through. What if he actually just decided to do something awful to Simon instead in a fit of rage and tunnel vision? What then?

Everything was so convoluted; so disastrous and unpredictable; especially when I tried to think about how I had absolutely no idea what to do to fix any of it. I rubbed at my eyes, the migraine was essentially gone, but the situation seemed to be spiraling out of control. Darren had been erratically volatile before; I had a feeling it was only going to get worse. And now I wasn’t even sure who exactly he would go after.

“This is… god this is such a disaster.”

“I mean, yeah, yeah it kind of is. Wow.” Reassurance obviously wasn’t Lillian’s forte.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about Darren at this point. But something has to be done. I don’t want him hurting Katie, or Simon, or even James. He’s already caused so much misery.”

The air of the room grew silent for a moment, but Lillian finally spoke up again. “I mean, you kind of /did/ do something about him. In a way. He was in so much agonizing pain; and we aren’t typically subject to that. I don’t know if it’s like. Even feasible to use that against him, but, it’s an idea?”

“I don’t even know what happened, at all. I just…” My brain was focusing in on the seconds before the possession that I was slowly beginning to recall; the fear at his voice, the absolute terror at the realization of what was happening when he pulled me off balance, the look on Simon’s face as I fell away from him, the pure mental rejection of what was unavoidable. I couldn’t will it not to happen, I knew that. But maybe I had willed him out, in one way or another. And maybe… just maybe…. “He was in a lot of pain, right? Like excruciating?”

I looked up at Lillian then, she’d settled me with an uncertain stare from where she stood, rubbing her arms. “I mean, yeah.”

“That’s. That’s kind of ideal, if it didn’t kill him. Can you kill a ghost? Jesus.”

“How in the hell do you figure that? Whatever you did has him so messed up he can’t even take a semblance of a form right now, and while I like, don’t personally have a lot of experience with him? That seems really, really bad? He’s got anger issues, and a vengeful streak from hell.”

“I know. And that’s exactly why it’s good.” I nodded. I knew very well of Darren’s temper, his determination to get his vengeance. Maybe that would work out as an advantage in a way.

“You’re absolutely insane, aren’t you?” Lillian shook her head, completely flabbergasted.

“Maybe. Who knows. The last six months have definitely been one hell of a time that might or might not have caused a distinct slip in my sanity. But, regardless, if I hurt him that badly, even without realizing it, maybe he’ll focus on me, and leave Katie and Simon alone. That would be… ideal, I guess.”

“You’d seriously go that far to protect them?”

I nodded without hesitation. “Those two are almost all I have at this point. I couldn’t take it if something happened to either one of them.”

“You and Simon are idiots. Oh. My. God. You two are so stupid.” She gave me a wide-eyed incredulous stare, shaking her head as she did so. I blinked.

“Excuse me?”

“He had me threaten Darren over you. He had me tell him to keep the hell away, or else. I don’t know if Simon actually had an ‘or else’ in mind but, he made sure I told him that he wasn’t the only deceased soul you knew, and that the other wasn’t going to just let him do something stupidly awful. Why are y’all like this? Are you two morons so in love with each other you’re blind to the potential risks you’re setting yourselves up for? I don’t understand.”

It had been Simon all along; of course it had been Simon. Part of me felt I should have realized that so much sooner. It all made sense in some absolutely bizarre way. I had thought maybe it might have been my father; but, knowing the situation then, I suppose hindsight is 20/20.

I couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh at her revelation, and my blissful ignorance to it. The two of us really were a mess of a duo, it seemed. I chose to ignore the latter part of her statement. I didn’t want to answer that, or think about the other half of the equation’s feelings. It could all be an issue of guilt, couldn’t it? Guilt for what had happened that winter. “Well, I suppose I should go and face the peanut gallery, huh?”

“You’re not going to tell them I told you all of this, are you?” Lillian sounded slightly alarmed by my sudden decision to leave the room, and go face the trio who were waiting for me. I paused for a moment.

“If you don’t want me to, I won’t tell them anything. I won’t even tell them you were here. And I won’t even mention you at all. Alright?”

“You… won’t? Really?”

“I promise. I just need one favor in return.”

There was a sigh from her then, and she soon moved to rubbing at her arm with a slight scowl on her face. “Of course you want something. Why am I not surprised? Just spit it out.”

“If… you catch on to Darren doing anything, or showing up or materializing, or whatever he does. Please, please tell me.”

Lillian scoffed, crossing her arms as she glared down at the floor. “Fine. But I get the distinct feeling you’re not going to be the only one asking that of me.”

She didn’t even have to emphasize that Simon and I were too much alike on that front again; it went without saying.