And Then, It Was Broken

Aurora was a slut, simply put. She slept with anyone who offered, guy or girl, and it was disgusting. She tried once with me even, as if I actually wanted her, or her diseases. Her hair was half purple and half black and her eyes were lined with eyeliner so thick I wondered what she was even trying to line. She smelled like sickly sweet candy and cigarettes. Everyone thought she’d end up pregnant and dropping out by sophomore year.

Somehow she didn’t though. She’s still here, sitting next to me and making me want to gag. The chemistry benches in our classroom were small and the only way for us to both fit was for our arms to be touching, brushing against each other. She smiled at me, was smiling even now, as if she hadn’t been the one to tear apart my family.

I was born a fraternal twin, my sister Erin stunningly beautiful and tall. She had had sweet green eyes and a smile for everyone back in middle school, except for Aurora. We’d always taken pleasure in hating her together, after she’d lied and said she’d slept with my best friend. It’d ruined the poor girl’s life, everyone constantly making fun of the quiet girl they didn’t understand. It had all been a game to Aurora, who was bi and proud of it.

Somehow in high school though Erin had become one of Aurora’s devoted followers. I couldn’t even call them friends, with the way my sister drooled after her, wishing they could be the same person. Apparently sleeping around had made Erin think it would bring them closer. It had really, with Aurora over nearly every day. It wasn’t long after that I moved into Bryce’s room. He was 13 and had a quiet nature. He never complained, never seemed to mind that I’d moved into his room. It was only a year ago that I even got my own room.

But regardless, Aurora was over constantly. I hated her with a passion, for turning my sister into one of her little clones. I hated her more when she came into my room one night, when Bryce was at a friend’s, and woke me up from a dead sleep to convince me to sleep with her. I found out later it was a bet; she thought she could get me, one of the few out kids at school, to sleep with her anyway. She was on a mission to turn at least one gay kid straight but that damn sure wasn’t going to be me.

Aurora had fed my sister some lie then, about what went on that night, and whatever it was made Erin hate me. Nothing I said changed her mind and she went completely over the edge, partying constantly. I guess I should have stopped it. I know I should have but how could I tell my parents? I couldn’t have my twin hate me even more.

Then she came home one Sunday after spending the day with Aurora, looking shaky and scared. Her eyes were rimmed with red- I suspected she was still high- and in ripped up old sweats. Bryce ran to her, smiling in excitement because he had just turned 15 and our parents were switching him from his private school to the high school we both went to. He’d wanted her to be as excited as he was, or at least say happy birthday, but she shoved him backwards, telling him he was too stupid for that school anyway.

That was the day everything unraveled. It had been a long time coming, with Bryce getting quieter and quieter since she’d starting partying and I’d gotten my first boyfriend, and mom and dad had had another child. He finally told Erin and me that he felt like he was being left behind, like we didn’t want our annoying kid-brother hanging around constantly. She’d said he was right and laughed before grabbing her purse and going out with Aurora.

That night though, as if she hadn’t already hurt Bryce enough, she ruined his birthday too. We were sitting around the table laughing, smiling, and I was happily presenting the cake I’d spent all day making for Bryce, with its terrible handwriting that proclaimed Happy Birthday Bryce!! on it in blue. It’d taken me three tries just to make the cake edible and I’d only done it because Bryce asked me to. I think it was supposed to be a joke originally but he was grinning at me, eyes twinkling and so, so innocent for a teenager these days.

I lit the candles- five tall, cream-colored candles that were actually from our formal living room because I’d forgotten real ones- and we were just about to start singing when Erin stood up, clearing her throat. Bryce’s face had changed, so hopeful, just as I was, that she was about to apologize to him, or at least tell him that she loved him. Instead his face crumpled in about three seconds flat and I had nearly dropped the cake on the table, flaming candles and all.

“I’m pregnant and… well I don’t know whose it is Mom,” she said quietly, looking at our mother. She was terrified, I could tell, and she wouldn’t even look at our dad. Amelia just sat on her booster seat, blond ringlets bouncing as she clapped, only three and too young to understand.

“Baby!” she exclaimed with her green eyes just as bright as Erin’s used to be. “Yay sissy!” Looking back, I’m not sure how she even knew what that meant. None of us did then. I think we hardly knew what Erin had even meant. I couldn’t quite comprehend it. My twin, my beautiful and amazing sister who had so much ahead of her, was pregnant.

“Shut up Amelia,” Erin sneered, glaring. My parents snapped at her then, telling her not to be so mean. Bryce stood up, shaking, as he plucked Amelia up and walked upstairs, never looking back. I wanted to follow him. I wanted to know my little brother and sister were ok, but Erin gave me a look so pleading I couldn’t abandon her.

She’d ruined Bryce’s birthday and had gone crazy over the last few years but she was still my twin. I loved her, I’d do anything for her and no matter how angry I was I forced myself to take a deep breath and sit back down in at the kitchen table, blowing out Bryce’s candles. She gave me a small smile, the first one I’d seen since what seemed like forever.

“When did you find out?” my mother asked Erin, her voice small and weak.

“This morning, well a few days ago actually but Aurora took me to one of those anonymous clinic things today, just to be sure…”

“How far?” I asked quietly. The awkward silence had stretched far too long already and I couldn’t think of any other way to break it.

“Almost two months… I guess I should have realized it sooner but I just… I never really thought about it and…” She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes that had gone glassy, before daring to look up again. “I…I already thought about it. I’ve thought about it for years actually, all those what-ifs, not that I ever planned on this happening but… Well I made an appointment today, while I was at the clinic. I’m gonna get an abortion in a few weeks, well next month really. It’s the soonest I could get in and even that was hard. They said it would be almost too-”

“What?” I yelled, the accusation in my voice clear. I hadn’t meant to speak up, to be so loud especially, and my entire family flinched back. “You can’t do that!” I told her, desperate. I’d never been overwhelmingly religious but I did believe in God. Regardless though; I didn’t believe in abortion unless it was rape. This baby didn’t deserve to be murdered because my sister made a mistake.

“Rowan!” my father snapped, eyes narrowed, “you will not tell your sister what to do, or pressure her.”

“She can’t kill the baby! It doesn’t deserve to be punished because of her mistakes!”

“Don’t tell me what to do you ass! This isn’t even going to affect you whether I have it or not! It’ll be me that suffers, my education, my life, my-“

“You’re constant partying, and drugs, and everything else? As if you give a shit about your future anyway!” I yelled back at her, anger flaring along with a sudden resentment for all the things she’d done to Bryce and I in the past few years. At least Amelia she treated somewhat decently, whenever she was actually around to see her little sister at least.

“Rowan!” my father yelled, in the voice none of us ever dared to argue with. “You will not pressure-“

“She can’t murder-“

“Enough!” The word was a roar that made me start and I had flashbacks of being a child, of belts and beatings that were just a little too severe to be normal. I loved my father, trusted him, but when he was angry he got violent. Not to my mother, or sisters, thank God, but we’d had more than a few fistfights before.

“Dad,” I tried, pleading, “please. Erin you-“

“Out! Now!” he yelled at me and I hesitated, not quite wanting to leave, but Erin was glaring daggers and my mom was crying. From the stairs that led from our kitchen to the upstairs I could see Bryce. He was looking at me through his bright green eyes, pleading and holding out his hand. I shoved myself out of my chair, giving Erin the fiercest glare I could, before going to my brother.

“Amelia wants to play family,” Bryce said when I reached him, giving me a dry smile, “and get this, apparently only you can play dad. I’m just the annoying uncle. Like, she actually told me that.”

“Bryce,” I started before laughing. He grinned at me, triumphant, as we walked to Amelia’s room. I could never stay angry around my youngest siblings, even if I knew our quickly approaching train wreck was lurking just around the corner.

Aurora’s giggle broke me out of my flashback and I glared at her, daring her to say something. Her smile fell, though only slightly, and she leaned into her seat more so that she could pout. She tried to be inconspicuous- she always did- but I could still see the arch in her back where she tried to shove her chest out, alluring in her black corset. It was hardly school appropriate, even with the jacket she wore over it, but it was warm out and no one cared.

“Tell Erin I’m coming over tonight? I haven’t seen her in a few days.”

“Morning sickness,” I explained reluctantly. Aurora was Erin’s friend however much I hated that, and I knew I’d get an earful for not conveying information.

“What about the rest of the day?” she asked, pouting further. “I miss her. Can I catch a ride over with you?”

“No,” I snapped, laughing in disbelief as the bell rang to signal the end of 6th period. I made my way out as quickly as I could, wondering just what was going to happen tonight. Something always went wrong when Aurora came over.