Some People Stay

Amelia Katz could feel her legs shaking as she stepped out of her car at the cemetery. She thought she was dreaming. She was waiting for the moment when she would wake up from this horrific nightmare to find her husband, David, fast asleep next to her. Or, at the very least, she hoped to wake up from this nightmare to realize that her husband was still safe and sound in Iraq. But, as she felt her sister’s hand on her shoulder, she knew she wasn’t dreaming.

Bridget Ackerman grabbed her sister’s hand, knowing that Amelia could barely walk at this point. But, she also knew that she needed to be there when her husband’s casket was dropped into the ground and buried. “Come on, Amelia, I’m right here for you,” she assured her, giving her a quick hug before they proceeded to the burial site.

Amelia could remember the visit from the Army officials very vividly in her mind. It had been just a week ago when they had knocked on her door, and she had answered it, not thinking anything about it. But, when she saw the two men in their army clothes, her heart instantly dropped, thinking about her husband of just over a year.

When they had announced that David had been in a bombing, Amelia’s legs had gotten weak, and when they had told her that he had died, her legs completely gave out, and she fell to the floor, sobbing. The two men had tried to help her up, but she continued to just lie there, not wanting to move. Fortunately, Bridget had been on her way over, and when she arrived at Amelia’s house and found her still on the floor, she had been able to finally get her up and at least over to the couch.

Ever since that day, Amelia had felt as if she was having an out of body experience and that she was simply watching someone else’s life right now. She still couldn’t believe that David was gone.

When she walked up to the hole that was already dug where David’s body was going to be laid to rest, Amelia thought she was going to throw up. All she wanted was to die at the moment. She didn’t want to be alive when the love of her life was now gone. She didn’t know how she was going to go on, and she didn’t know if she really wanted to anymore.

She glanced over at Bridget, who was continuing to keep an eye on her little sister. Amelia didn’t even need to say a single word for Bridget to know exactly what she was thinking. “I know,” Bridget said quietly, wrapping her arm around her. “It’s not fair. And, there’s no explanation for it. But, you will get through this,” she promised her.

“That’s just it, B,” Amelia said quietly. “I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know if I want to be here without David.”

“What are you saying, Amy?” she asked, using Amelia’s nickname she had had since a young age.

“I don’t know if I want to live anymore,” Amelia admitted, and at that moment, Bridget knew she was going to need help if she was going to be able to get her sister through this tragedy.