'Til Death Do Us Part

"So, Matt tells me Jimmy kicked everyone out of the house yesterday." Val stated the next day when we were at the studio.

"Zacky said he even made Icky Vicky leave," Veronica commented.

"What happened, girl?" Anna, Matt Berry's girlfriend, questioned. "I'd love to hear all the naughty details!"

"Yes, do tell us," Val encouraged.

"Spill!" Veronica exclaimed.

"Well, you know how I get when she shows up," The girls nodded their heads, so I continued on to tell them about how I was sore and even told them about the talk I had with Jimmy. "When he came up from kicking everyone out, he got in the tub with me and we bathed each other." I told them. "It was so romantic. Afterwards, we pulled on some clothes and cuddled in bed. He wouldn't let me do a thing for myself the whole day. He's so sweet."

"Aw," Val cooed. "I told you he was a keeper!"

"And here everyone is, thinking the Rev isn't romantic . . . " Anna laughed. "Boy, were they wrong!"

"He wants to start having kids," The three of them turned to look at me, all laughing ceasing to exist. "He wants me to get off the pill for a while."

"Shit, Serenity," Val sighed, her eyes as wide as saucers. "What'd you say?"

"I told him I didn't think it was a good idea," I mumbled, looking at the floor. "That maybe we should wait a year or two. He insisted, though. He told me he wanted to see me with that motherly glow every pregnant woman got." I sighed. "He's ready to take the next step, but I - I don't think I am, yet. I'm not motherly material - I'm just not."

Veronica placed her hand on my arm, making me look up at her. "You didn't tell him?"

Biting my lip, I shook my head no. "I didn't have the heart to, Ronnie." I watched Jimmy from across the room as he joked around with his band members, a smile never leaving his face. He was happy; I couldn't take that from him. "He was so excited at the thought of having a baby. He kept saying he wanted a little girl so he could spoil her and chase away any boys that even looked at her. It even made me smile." I groaned, placing my head in my hands. "I can't get my hopes up. I just won't allow it."

"Serenity, you're gonna have to tell him sooner or later." Val scolded me. "It'd be best for both of you if you just got it over with."

"If you don't tell him, honey, he's going to eventually piece it all together and be pissed that you never told him." Anna told me. "Jimmy is a smart fella."

"It's possible that he'll leave me . . . I wouldn't be able to handle it, if he left me."

"Serenity!" Val scolded. "It's not for sure that anything will go wrong. Just tell him!"

I got the same lecture from Whittier when she got here a couple days later.

"Ronnie and Val are right, 'Ren. You need to tell him." She encouraged. "I'm sure he'll understand. He loves you."

"The whole point of a wife is to be able to reproduce, Whittier. I don't even know if I have that ability, and you don't think he'll get mad? You didn't see his face when he told me he wanted a baby. It was like his skies turned blue and the flowers sprang to life. Jimmy wants this, terribly. So terribly, it frightens me."

"Serenity, love, you gotta do it!" She stated, firmly. "Us girls have your back, I promise."

It was at that moment that Jimmy came through the front door with a goofy smile on his face. "Why, hello Whitty,"

She gave me a pointed look, then turned to him with a smile. "Hello Jiminy Cricket,"

He pulled her into a hug before asking if she wanted to stay for dinner. She quickly said no before giving me another pointed look. "Sorry, Jim Bean, but I do believe your wife needs to talk to you. I'll see you tomorrow, though." She smiled at us, grabbing up her belongings before high-tailing it out the door. The little rat left me no other option but to spill everything to Jimmy.

"What does she mean you wanna talk to me?" He questioned, sitting on the couch next to me. "Is everything okay?"

I faltered for a second before finally swallowing my pride. "Well, honey, remember the other day when we were talking about having a baby?" He nodded his head yes. "Well, we need to talk about that."

He adjusted his position next to me so that his body was turned towards me, letting me know I had his attention. "What about it?"

"I - " And the words were stuck in my throat, again. "I, uh," How do you tell something like this to the man you love? "Jimmy, there's no easy w-way to say this, but it's possible . . . " Oh, I couldn't tell him! "It'spossiblewemayhaveaboy! You know since it runs in your family and all!" Oh, gosh. The girls would be so disappointed in me right now.

Jimmy chuckled. "You always have been a bad liar, Serenity Faith. You know I wouldn't give a damn whether we had a boy or girl, just as long as it was ours." He threw an arm around me, pulling me into his side. "Now, tell me what's really bothering you."

Standing up from the couch, I walked over to the window seat a few feet away and sat down. Not wanting to see the emotion in Jimmy's eyes when I told him, I turned to face the window, looking out at the ocean beyond the sandy beach below. "I might not be able to give you what you want, Jimmy." When he started to say something, I turned to him with emotionless eyes. "I may not be able to give you . . . to give you children. I . . . I could possibly be infertile."

And that's when my world came tumbling down. Jimmy was pissed. Pissed at me, pissed at the world. I flinched when he threw everything off the coffee table and when he flipped the love-seat. He wasn't mad at what I said, just that I never told him.

"I've known you for over four and a half years, Serenity." He exclaimed. "You could have told me before now."

"I can't believe you never told me!" I remember him almost yelling.

I just remember sitting there, not moving an inch, as he practically threw a tantrum behind me.

I didn't even move when he left the house, slamming the door behind him. I just sat there, feeling like shit for never telling him.