'Til Death Do Us Part

That was three days ago. Valary and Whittier found me hours after Jimmy had stormed out, still sitting in the window seat. They said I was just staring off into space with a lost expression as I mumbled quiet apologies.

I loved Valary and Veronica to death, but there was just some things they didn't need to know. The only person who did know was miles away in Canada; my sister, Hope. Whittier didn't even know why I was possibly unable to have kids. And she didn't need to know, either.

I did everything subconsciously and without emotion. Oh, and I remained by myself. I went to the dance studio and danced for a couple of hours everyday; by myself. I went to the gym and exercised for an hour. I even did a little bit of yoga, though I hated it with a passion. I did everything to take my mind off of things, but no matter what, I still remembered my dad just laughing at me. I remembered Jimmy screaming at me, and my mother calling me pathetic and worthless. None of it would stop flashing before my eyes.

Today, I found myself at the mall watching people as they passed by. I watched couples as they moved about, holding hands and smiling at each other. Groups of girls would pass by, giggling about the latest gossip. Then, of course, the random group of guys would walk by, eyeing me up like I was a piece of meat.

Glaring at those same guys didn't seem to do much, so I flipped them off and told them in a very unladylike manner to fuck off. I was not in the mood to be some asshole's eye-candy.

After that, I watched as a little girl ran to her mom with a smile on her face, her dad right behind her. They looked so happy, and only just for a second, I imagined that it was Jimmy and I with a little girl. Just as fast as it appeared, it was gone. And it was all my fault Jimmy and I couldn't have that.

"You're a hard woman to find," I nearly jumped out of my skin as Brian appeared out of nowhere.

"Sorry," I mumbled as he sat down.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," I shook my head. "I'd prefer for it to all just go away."

"It won't go away if you don't talk about it." He pushed. "Come on, Faith, you can talk to me."

"Did you know that my father was one of Texas' best oil refinery's CEO?" Brian, not getting what I was trying to say, just shook his head. "People adored him in Dallas. They all thought he was an angel or something." I scoffed. "Boy, were they wrong . . . I remember it like it was yesterday; me looking up at him scared I was gonna die and him just laughing at me. To me, my dad is a monster, and that'll never change."

"Serenity," He whispered. "What are you talking about?"

Giving him a fake smile, I shook my head. "It's nothing to worry your pretty little head over."

"You're worrying me, Serenity." He looked me over for a second or two before changing the subject. "You want something to drink? Something to eat, maybe?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I know just what you need." He smiled, climbing to his feet. "I'll be right back."

I did exactly as he said and stayed in my seat, waiting for his return.

"Well, look who it is." I heard that all too familiar voice say, making me cringe both inside and out. "My dear ol' ex's wife,"

"I'm not in the mood for your shit, MacFadden." I growled, turning to look at her. "What do you want?"

"Oh, just to say hi," She smirked. "I heard you couldn't have kids, Marshall. Don't you think that's going to make Jimmy wanna get rid of you even more? I mean he could do so much better than you, anyway, but this just adds to the list, Serenity. Nobody wants someone's used and dirty leftovers. It makes you pathetic . . . "

I didn't even hear a word she said once the word pathetic touched her lips. It was like every thing she had to say was zoned out and replaced with memories of my younger years, forcing me to feel all the pain that one word has ever caused me all at once.

"You're pathetic,"

" . . . pathetic,"

"pathetic . . . "

"What a pathetic daughter you are!"

"Pathetic bitch!"

"You're a pathetic excuse for a woman!"

"That's a pathetic pose, Serenity. What kind of model are you?"

"You won't ever have kids, you pathetic whore! I made sure of that!"

I guess you could say I lost it, but I wasn't in the mood to be fucked with, so I took action. I jumped over the back of the bench and hit her, bringing her to the floor. If the bitch was gonna talk shit, she was gonna get hit.

I didn't notice the people all around us stopping to stare or the crowd that seemed to form a barrier for us. I just threw punch after punch as she tried to scratch me and pull my hair. The stupid slut didn't notice my hair was tied back or that I actually had a jacket on, which prevented her from trying to scratch me.

Straddling her, I had the best advantage of the two of us. I was gonna show her who was pathetic!

I wasn't some prissy girl from California. I was a girl from Texas, who knew how to use her fists.

"Get off her, you crazy bitch!" Looking up from Leana, who kept squirming underneath me, I saw Gena's bleached hair. "I said get off!" She went to punch me, but I caught her fist instead, before sending a punch of my own to her nose. She backed away from me, cradling her bleeding nose.

"That's for Veronica!" I called to her. "I mean it when I say leave Zacky the fuck alone! As for you," I stood up, looking down at Leana. "Leave my husband and I the fuck alone! Our problems are none of your concern."

"Serenity!" I felt someone grab me from behind and drag me from the scene. "What the hell is your problem?!"

"Don't even start, Haner." I groaned, pushing away from him now that we were in the parking lot.

"Where are you going?" He called after me.

"To my car, Haner, so I can go home."

"The hell you are!" He exclaimed, grabbing me again. "I'm not letting you drive. I'll take you to my house, where everyone else is."



Unbuckling my seat belt, I climbed out of Brian's SUV calmly, as he was watching my every move. Placing his hand around my arm, he dragged me inside his house from the garage into the kitchen and told me not to move from the counter.

No longer reeling from the adrenaline rush, I could suddenly feel the pain in my knuckles. They were throbbing, but I didn't care. I was mad at myself for losing control like I did, for showing my vulnerability.

Looking around, I felt crowded -- caged in like a misbehaved circus animal -- so, I found myself back in the garage, leaving to the backyard. Brian's backyard led to a secluded beach, and that's where I went.

I was outside for maybe an hour, when I heard someone walking behind me. "If you're coming to give me a lecture, I suggest you turn around."

"Definitely not what I'm here for, babe!" Looking up, I saw Matt Sanders sit next to me in the sand. "I actually find it quite funny that you kicked Leana's ass and broke Gena's nose. I just find it shocking that it was in the middle of the mall."

"Why?"

"Come on, Sere. Out of the girls, you're the most collected. In any other situation, you would've dragged her ass in a secluded alley or some place deserted." He explained before cracking an over-sized grin. "Man, I wish I could have seen their faces after you kicked Leana's ass!"

"I'm glad you think it's funny, Sanders." I groaned, laying back. "But I'm seriously embarrassed by my actions."

"Matt, can you give us a minute?"

"See you later, Sullivan's!" Matt sang, heading back to Brian's house.

"Serenity, we need to talk." Groaning, I looked over to him with raised eyebrows. "Not about today's incident. About our fight,"

"I'm sorry about not telling you sooner, Jimmy. I - "

"How did it happen?"

Playing dumb, I looked up at him confused. "How did what happen?"

"Serenity, I know you don't want to talk about it, but if you want me to understand this all, you're going to have to tell me what happened."

Despite the negative feeling in my gut, I gave into his request and took a deep breath. "I was sixteen years old, Jimmy, and I had no control over my life whatsoever. I had to do whatever my father told me to do. Well, one day he forced me to go to dinner with this guy that worked for one of his companies. The guy's name was Egan Sonnier, and he was four years older than me.

"He seemed alright at first, acting all sweet and being courteous, so I agreed to become his girlfriend." I felt Jimmy grab my hand as tears began to form in my eyes. "We were together five months when he first hit me. I didn't tell anyone, not even Hope or Whittier. I felt so ugly, Jimmy -- so unloved. I thought he was the only one who loved me. Naturally, I believed him when he told me he would never hit me again, that he didn't mean to. Things only got worse, though.

"It was three months later that he forced himself on me. He raped me, Jimmy, and there was nothing I could do. I had no one to tell. Hope was forced into boarding school states away, and I couldn't call Whittier because I didn't want her in trouble.

"I was 17 when I found out I was four months pregnant. I couldn't tell because I was so skinny. When I told Egan, he beat me, then pushed me down a flight of stairs. I was on the brink of death when my brother's nanny found me.

"The doctor said I was lucky. Not many people walk away from what I went through alive." I wiped at my eyes. "I didn't feel lucky, though. I felt like shit. The doctor told me that due to the severity of my injuries, I'd be lucky if I ever conceived a child again. That bastard took away one of my God-given rights, Jimmy, and I'd rot in hell, if I ever had the chance to kill him." I told him, honestly.

"The same goes for my parents. They deserve to rot in the nastiest, most brutal depths of hell. They used to just laugh at me when I mentioned anything about Egan being less than nice. My dad even called me pathetic for telling him Egan raped me later on." I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "Egan wanted me to never be able to have kids again, and he got what he wanted." I bit my lip, rubbing the top of Jimmy's hand with my thumb. "For that, I am sorry."

"No, Serenity, I'm sorry. You should've never had to go through any of that." He pulled me closer to him, squeezing me as if he never wanted to let go.