I See Your Name in Lights

I followed Jack to his locker after sticking my things in my bag, trying to both stay out of people’s way and keep my eyes from wandering downward. He flung his things into his own backpack in a whirl, shutting his locker and kicking it quickly, slipping back into the crowd to reclaim his spot by my side. He stuck his hand that was closest to mine in his pocket, then looked sideways at me with a soft grin.

My hand itched to snake into his pocket to take his, but I refrained. He and I shuffled through the bus-bound crowd in order to get outside, our shoes crunching on the snow beneath us. He struggled to unlock his door, fell into his car, and opened the door for me from within. I shot him a thankful look, then collapsed into the passenger seat. I shivered slightly as it roared to life; Jack instantly turned on the heat full-blast.

“It’ll take a minute to kick in, I’m sorry.”

He spoke. Thank god. He hadn’t since we’d planned to hang out at his place in the middle of Spanish.

“It’s alright, it’s not like it’s too long of a drive.”

He nodded, shifting into gear. He drove carefully out of the lot, almost getting sideswiped by two other cars. Jack mumbled empty threats under his breath, but his expression didn’t change. I watched him, concerned, then he caught me as he turned out.

“Are you alright, Alex?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” I admitted. “You’ve been quiet, it’s weird for you.

He smiled sadly at me, but turned his gaze back at the road. After a quick ride he turned into his driveway, turned his car off, and got out without a word.

I looked up at the house as I escaped his low-to-the-ground vehicle, dragging my bag out with me. I remembered it fairly well; I couldn’t count how many times Iwalked past it every day during the summer when I needed to get outside to clear my mind. It wasn’t exactly small, but my house was probably double the size. Jack opened the door for me as I walked onto the small front porch and I thanked him quietly. As soon as I was inside, I kicked off my shoes and set them against the wall next to a messy pile of skater shoes.

“You don’t need to take them off,” Jack cocked his head at me.

“But they’re wet,” I protested. “I’d get the floor wet, too.”

He smiled warmly at me, then beckoned to have me walk farther into the house with him. I ventured in obediently, looking around at the rather plain living room.

"Ma, my friend's over to help me with homework!" Jack called loudly, not stopping. He paused at the doorway when a woman's voice asked who it was, and he yelled my name.

His mom poked her head from one side of the foot of the staircase, eyes squinted. SHe stepped into the walkway to wave at me. "Welcome to our home, Alex! It's nice to meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you too, ma'am!" I grinned, then Jack pulled me into his room. I turned around to chuckle at my blushing friend.

"She's embarassing," He mumbled.

"But she seems nice," I pointed.

"Just come here," He ordered, kicking some clothes on the floor to the side of the room and tossing all the shirts and jeans scattered on his bed into an overflowing hamper. I obeyed, slowly sitting on his bed, taking in my surroundings. It was messy, there was no denying that. There were papers, bags, and random articles of clothing scattered on the floor, random band posters covering half of his walls, along with picutres of who I guessed were his family, and a board with concert tickets tacked onto it. He bit his lip, smiling sideways at me as he realized what I was doing. "I'm not always this unorganized..."

"I find that hard to believe," I joked, pulling my econ notebook out of my bag and sitting on my crossed legs.

He blushed, defeated. "I'm sorry."

"I was kidding... You're so down today," I stated, frowning as he sat in front of me, his backpack between his legs as he matched my rapport. "It's kind of killing me."

"It's stupid," He muttered, looking at his hands as he messed with his bag's zipper.

"I want to hear it."

"I..."

"You can talk to me," I smiled warmly at him, placing a hand on his leg. He looked up at me quickly, but didn't move my hand away.

"I heard you like Rae," Jack admitted. My heart skipped a beat, hopeful. Was he saying...?

"How did people find out about me saying that?" I gasped, ggenuinely curious.

"Rian told me before third hour. He said you told him." He shook his head. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can," I removed my hand from his leg, telling myself not to reach out to touch his face. I wanted so badly to bring him to face me so I could look into those big, brown eyes.

As if he was reading my mind, he raised his gaze slowly, eyes partieally veiled between a curtain of dark eyelashes. I swallowed hard, trying to stop all of my thoughts from how gorgwous this guy was, how...

"I went out with Jasey for a year," He started. Jasey was Rae's twin; I listened intently, even though he had no idea that I had my eyes on someone a little... closer. "She cheated on me at least three times that I know of, and was always out doing god knows what with Rae at parties when we were supposed to be together. Rae may be a little more innocent than her sister, but... Just wait until Zack's party. You'll see who she really is."

"They did say it was going to be easy to hook her up with me," I laughed dryly. "And I already got her number, we all know what that means..."

Jack's features darkened. He wasn't in the mood to hear anything like that, I instantly grew serious. I had to make up for that, maybe I'd tell him the truth. Both curiosity and slight confidence bubbled in my stomach as he stared. "Jack, I have a confession to make."

He slightly cocked his head to the side. Damn, was it cute when he did that. I grew slightly speechless.

"Well?" He pressed, moving himself closer to me.

"I don't like Rae."

"Then why did Rian...?"

"Zack was choking me, I didn't feel like joking around so I thought agreeing with whatever they said would quiet them down." I clutched my bag against my chest as if it was what was keeping me earthbound. "I just... I'm a bit afraid of the truth."

I didn't want to look up at him, so I stared at my feet. My heart beat wildly in my chest, my breath coming with great difficulty.

“You shouldn’t be scared of something like that,” He cooed. My eyes snapped up to look at him, I wasn’t expecting such a soft sound. His eyes were pleading, his features soft. The spark of the unsaid between us burned, and I hoped to a god I didn’t believe in that the pull I felt at that moment was mutual. I was almost in agony as he looked into my eyes, and for a split second I lost a bit of my control and my gaze fell to his lips – yearning to press mine against them. I re-locked our gazes, and it was obvious he caught me. His eyes fell to mine, and… Wait, was I right?

As my heart soared in hope, I loosened my grip on my bag, then pushed it aside, placing my book on top of it. He did the same, leaving only a thick wall of tension between us.

“Alex,” His voice was a whisper, far gone and saturated with the hoarseness of need. “I have a confession to make, too.”

A thousand words filled my mind, but my tongue wouldn’t move. I wanted to beg him to tell me, to please admit that I wasn’t the only one feeling this. I knew that it would be a jumbled mess, so instead of spewing out countless incoherent babbles, I simply nodded once.

He scooted forward, our knees touching each other. I drew in a shaky breath, then I licked my lips as they dried from the intensity of my want of contact, worse than it had ever been in my life. Jack slowly leaned in, breaking through some of the anxiety that veiled us. My eyes fluttered shut as he slowly got close enough so that I could feel his breath on my face, my pulse pounding in my ears, drowning out every other sound. That is, until –

“Jack!” A girl’s voice roared. We whipped our heads around to look in the direction of that god-awful, inconvenient sound.

“May!” Jack groaned, a forced smile spreading across his face slowly. “What is it?”

“Your friends are downstairs,” She smirked knowingly. “Wrap it up and get going.”

“You tell anyone and I’ll –”

“You won’t do anything, Jack,” She cut in before I could feel any pain from him being ashamed, then she giggled. “Come on, they’re complaining.”

The girl he called May bounced out of the door, half-closing it behind her.

“I completely forgot that we were going to practice today,” Jack bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”

I stood up, fixing my shirt absentmindedly, then pulled my sleeves over my wrists and bit one. “It’s just Rian and Zack, right?”

“Yeah,” He paused a moment. “Are you ready to pretend you’re into Rae again?”

“Guess so,” I sighed. He stepped in front of me in order to walk out first, but paused in the doorway. Without a word, he softly placed a hand on my chin and lifted my face to his to plant a soft, quick, innocent kiss on my lips. He smiled as I caught my breath, then hurried down the stairs.