Not Insane

After a relaxing weekend with just himself and his fiance, Brian was ready to get back with the guys and work on more music. Jayden was still sound asleep after an evening of work, but Brian had shaken her gently awake to tell her that he was heading to meet his friends.

“Brian? Please stay with me today?” she asked quietly, not letting herself forget what date it was.

Brian sighed. “I agreed with the guys that we'd meet up today, but I tell you what, I won't stay long, and we'll have a nice dinner tonight.”

“Just keep a close eye on Jimmy, okay?”

“Sweetheart, you know we always do. Go back to sleep and I'll be back in a few hours.” He kissed the side of her head before exiting the room to get ready for the day.

Brian headed to Matt's house, which was where they usually met and hung out in his basement when they were writing. He was the first there, and shortly after, Johnny and Zack had shown up, but when another hour passed and Jimmy hadn't shown, the four men decided to go to his house, figuring that he was still asleep. They barged into Jimmy's house, all calling for him like they usually would do. There wasn't a response until a scream had shaken all four men to their very cores. They sprinted up the stairs, nearly tripping over each other, where Matt had nearly ran over Leana who was stumbling out of her bedroom, her face void of any color.

“He's...” her voice broke as her body fell limp in Matt's arms where she began sobbing.

The singer helped her sit on the floor while Brian went into the room. “Someone call 911!” he shouted over his shoulder before shaking his best friend's lifeless body. “Jimmy! Jimmy wake up!” his shouts had broken up as tears burned at his eyes.

Johnny was at his side seconds later, unable to speak. The only sounds that were heard over the course of the next few moments were Leana's muffled sobs and Zack on the phone with 911. The next moments were a blur as the paramedics arrived and they were all on their way to the hospital. Everybody was in a silent state of disbelief, waiting for answers. Matt, Zack, and Johnny all called their significant others, knowing already what to day to them, but Brian couldn't find the nerve to call Jayden just yet. He wanted answers first. He was pacing the waiting room of the hospital for what felt like an eternity when a doctor approached the group.

“His heart was stopped, we have no idea how long it's been stopped, we've tried everything we could, but unfortunately, nothing has worked. I can't begin to say how sorry I am to you guys,” the doctor said solemnly. “I tried to tell the other doctors to let you guys see him one last time, but they needed to get the body to the morgue to begin the autopsy.”

“It's fine,” Matt said, never letting his sadness show. “We have friends and family to notify. Thank you.”

“Fuck,” Brian mumbled when they had gotten outside. Tears stung at his eyes as he sat on the ground against the wheel of the car. “I have to tell Jayden. I have to crush my fiance's entire world. How the fuck do I do this?”

“It's going to turn out bad, but you obviously can't hide this from her. You just have to come out and say it,” Matt said. “I hate to sound so heartless about it, but it has to be done. I think we all need to just stay together for a while. We'll come with you.”

“Matt, it's a great idea, but I don't want her to be overwhelmed. I'll call you later.”

After a tearful exchange of hugs in front of Matt's house, Brian got in his car and went home. When he stepped inside, his stomach flipped, almost causing him to vomit out of anxiety. Jayden was in the kitchen making herself some lunch, and Brian felt his heart break. She looked so innocent and happy standing there and the last thing Brian wanted to do was change that. He watched her for a moment, letting her take in those last few minutes of being worry-free before she turned, startled to see him standing there. “Wasn't expecting you to be home yet,” she said with a quickly fading smile.

Brian sighed. “Jade, something happened. You should sit.” He tried his best to stay composed, but his voice still broke, and fresh tears burned his eyes.

“Brian?”

He let out a long sigh. “There's no easy way to tell you this. Jimmy never showed up to meet us, and when we went to his house to wake him up, Leana found him unresponsive. His heart stopped sometime through the night, and they were unable to bring him back. Sweetheart, Jimmy's gone.” He could feel the crushing pain in his chest as he watched the color drain from her face before she stumbled backwards, grabbing the counter to remain standing.

“No. You're lying to me.” Brian was unable to contain his tears as he stepped towards Jayden. She stepped away from him, shaking her head.

“Jade, honey, please just sit.” He watched his fiance for a moment, just standing against the counter, letting his words sink in. He could pin-point the exact moment when her world had crashed down, and he had no idea what to do. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her alone, but he was afraid to approach her further. “Please just sit so we can talk. Baby, you're in shock, and I need to make sure you're okay.”

“Okay? Okay!? You say my fucking brother is dead! How am I okay right now!?” She snapped at her fiance before turning and storming out of the kitchen into the backyard.

He followed her a few moments later to see her sitting next to their pool, hugging her knees tightly. As he approached, he could hear muffled sobs. She had completely understood what he had told her, her world had crashed, and she had finally broken down with it. Brian sat next to her, placing his hand on her back, feeling a small sense of relief that she had finally started crying. She leaned against him and continued to cry while he held her. They didn't exchange any words until she had finally calmed her tears. “Jayden, I am so sorry about this. I know this hurts. It hurts me too. He was like a brother to me also.”

“The dreams...it happened.” Jayden choked out.

“I know, I know.” Brian had no idea how to respond about her remarks about the dreams.

“Have you called my mom and dad yet?”

“Not yet, and I'm terrified to do so.”

“I'll save you that and call them myself, and then I'm gonna lay down.”

Jayden stood up and went inside to call her parents. Brian couldn't deny feeling somewhat relieved that he only had to make one world collapse and not the other two. Also, he didn't think he could handle telling Jimmy's parents that their son had died. Brian continued to sit next to the pool, staring into the water, still trying to let it sink in himself that Jimmy was gone.

Time passed before Brian went back inside. The house was silent. Upstairs, he saw that Jayden had laid down and was most likely asleep. He was about to lay next to her when she stirred, reaching for her phone. “Hey, Jack. I don't think I can come in tonight, there was a death in the family,” she murmured, her voice cracking up. “Yeah, well her fiance was also my twin brother.” There was a pause before she continued. “Thanks, Jack, I'm sorry we kind of screwed you tonight. Bye.”

She set her phone back on the nightstand before hugging her pillow tightly to her body. Brian wanted to leave her alone, but at the same time, he just couldn't. He wanted to talk to her, but there wasn't anything he could say to make the situation any better. He watched her lay there for a few moments, her body shaking as fresh tears quietly poured from her eyes. After a few moments, he turned and silently headed out of the bedroom, going downstairs to the living room.

He sat on the couch, suddenly running short of breath as he felt the crushing pain in his chest. The guilt he felt from hurting Jayden had opened up a new world of hurt for him. He was trying to stay composed as best as he could, not wanting to show any kind of weakness, but the pain was too much. After a deep breath, he had finally broken down into his own hysterics, burying his face in his hands, feeling tears soaking his palms. “Jimmy, why'd you do this? Fuck. What do I do?” He sobbed to himself.

“Brian?” a soft voice startled him, and he looked up through his tears to see Jayden standing in the entrance-way to the living room. It hurt him worse to see her standing there because she looked so much like Jimmy in her own way. The same dark hair, the same blue eyes, he could see his best friend almost standing there in the form of his twin sister. She stepped to him and without even thinking, Brian grabbed her, hugging her tightly again while still sobbing.

As he cried, Jayden shifted to where she was sitting across his lap while hugging his head as he cried against her chest. She had began to go numb, unable to produce anymore tears, so she brushed her fingers through her fiance's hair as he cried. “I don't know what to do,” he whispered when his tears calmed. “I don't know how to talk to you about this. If I don't, I feel like I'm going to abandon you, but if I do, I'm just going to upset you.”

“Don't worry about it,” she whispered back. “You're not going to abandon me, and either way I'm going to be in pain. He's my brother, and now he's dead. Come to bed with me?”

The couple slowly headed to their room, laying down in each other's arms silently until they had fallen asleep.