Not Insane

“Jade, baby, who are you talking to?” Brian asked, walking into their dimly lit bedroom. He had just gotten off the phone and went to talk to Jayden, but heard her voice as he approached the door.

She jumped, startled. “Uhh...I was on the phone...”

“Uh-huh. Babe, your phone is downstairs.”

Jayden sighed. “I swear I keep hearing my brother's voice, and he actually responds to me.” She stared at Brian who didn't respond. “I know, you think I'm crazy.”

“No I don't. I don't know how to respond to that without upsetting you. Babe, Jimmy's gone, and you're probably just thinking you're hearing his voice. You were probably asleep and dreamed it.”

Jayden sighed again. “Maybe. Who knows.”

Brian sat next to his fiance, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body to his. “You're doing good though, Jade. It's been two months and you're healing much faster than we all expected. I'm proud of you, sweetheart.”

Jayden relaxed in Brian's arms, losing herself in thought of what Brian had just said. It was true. While she would still cry at times, it was to be expected, but other than that, she wasn't as numb anymore, and her eating habits have nearly returned to normal. She still missed him like crazy, but she remained confident that he was watching over her and kept reminding herself that he wouldn't want her to waste her life being mopey and depressed.

“But hey, listen. I just got off the phone with Leana. She wanted to see if we could go by the house.”

Jayden nodded and both of them got their things and headed over to the house. Jayden shivered, seeing Jimmy's house for the first time since he passed. She hadn't noticed the 'For Sale' sign until Brian said something. She took a deep breath before following Brian into the house and finding Leana in the kitchen. Jayden had a good feeling as to why the sign was in front of the house.

“Lea, what's with the sign?” Brian asked.

“I haven't slept since I've been back. Everything around here just reminds me of him and it hurts. I can't live here so I'm selling the place.”

I knew it, Jayden thought. “Why don't you come live with us?” she spoke up, taking both of them by surprise.

“I can't intrude on you two like that. It wouldn't be right. I'm just going to find a small apartment.”

“Nonsense,” Brian said. “You have tons of friends around here who would have no problem with you moving in. You're more than welcome to move in with us. We have the extra room. I think it'll be good for both you and Jayden.”

It didn't take much to have Leana agree to the move. After the agreement, the three talked a bit before going out to lunch. Plans were being made for her to move in as soon as possible and not waiting for a buyer. Both women agreed that it would be good for them to be around each other. They'd always be there for each other, and then Leana wouldn't have to deal with everything in her and Jimmy's house upsetting her. Jayden smiled at the thought of her best friend moving in.

The one downside she saw was when she and Brian would soon resume planning and organizing for their wedding. Jayden knew that Leana would get upset about that, and almost began to fear the subject all together. She decided against bringing up the subject to Brian when they had gotten home, not sure if she was ready to even resume the wedding plans.

Shortly after getting home, Brian had disappeared into the basement. It was where he went to work on anything music related, so Jayden wasn't going to disturb him. Instead, she went up to the bedroom and laid down to watch TV.

“Howdy,” the all-too familiar voice softly floated through the room.

As usual, Jayden looked around and saw nobody. “What the fuck?” she mumbled to herself.

“I know, I know. You still can't believe it. Jay, I'm really here, even if you can't see me.”

“Jimmy, I just don't get it.”

“Because you never believed in ghosts, spirits, and all of that stuff. Plus, we're twins. We're connected way more than anybody wants to believe.”

“I still don't get it.”

“I don't get a lot of it either. I think it's because part of me is still living. IE: you. Since we're connected like we are, you're able to hear my voice.”

“So I'll be the only one to ever hear you?”

“Yep. But of course, I'm still going to watch over everybody. Because that's how we dead-folk roll.”

Jayden still couldn't believe her ears. Even if Jimmy really was just a ghost or a spirit, he was acting like he was standing there in the flesh, making jokes and everything. She never believed in ghosts, she never believed anything like that could ever exist, but she was hearing Jimmy's voice like he was standing right there.

“So, if you're a ghost like you say, can you, like, grab something and move it?”

“Would you believe me if I said yes?”

“I'd have to see it.”

Jimmy chuckled and silence followed. Moments later, a candle that was sitting on the dresser had began to float through the air. Jayden's eyes went wide as she watched it clearly moving on it's own and set back on the dresser. “Of course, I'm not going to do that when others are around. They're not going to be able to hear my voice.”

Jayden was still trying to tell herself that she was imagining everything. “I'm going crazy.”

“Well if anyone sees you talking to me, of course they're going to think it. Jay, you're not. I'm always going to be here. Remember I promised you that I wasn't going anywhere. I might not be there physically, to hug you when you're hurting, to hug and dance with you when you get married, but nothing is ever going to hurt you, and I'm always going to be here.”

Jayden scratched her head. “Then how did I supposedly see you that one night? When I saw a silhouette that looked exactly like you.”

“Can't explain that one. It was the middle of the night, so you could've been imaging it when I started talking to you.”

“I guess I get it. I still feel totally insane though. I'm talking to my brother who isn't here.”

“To everyone else, yes. But you're not insane. By the way, I'm glad that Leana's moving in here. It'll be good for the both of you.”

“Sure...” Jayden paused for a moment as a question flashed through her brain. One that she was scared to ask, one that she wasn't sure she wanted to know the real answer to. Taking a deep breath, she decided to ask anyways. “Jimmy? What actually happened that caused you to...to...d-die?”

“You know I've been sick, and you know I've been on meds for my heart right? Well I was an idiot and had too much to drink. I took my meds, but soon forgot that I took them and then I took more. It was an accident thanks to my stupidity.”

“Oh.” Jayden hung her head. “I miss you, Slim Jim.” Tears began to sting the corners of her eyes.

“I'm still here though. Remember what I said. And please...no more tears. You have no idea how much it kills me to see you crying.”

“H-have you only seen the tears?” She asked, recalling when she went weeks without food, and then a few more weeks barely eating and had lost so much weight. She was starting to gain it back, but was still ashamed of herself for letting it happen.

“No.” The disappointment was very obvious in his voice. “Jay, you scared the hell out of me, and I couldn't bring myself to talk to you yet. I really can't believe you let yourself get like that. How do you think mom and dad would've felt if you had gotten so bad that you ended up hospitalized and if it had gotten even worse that you had died? You almost starved yourself to death, and I never wanna see that again.”

Jayden sighed. “I'm sorry. It was just so hard to do anything. Food wouldn't stay down if I had tried to eat it.”

“Just promise me that you're going to get back to being healthy?”

“I promise.”

“Brian's coming. I'll leave you two alone.” It was obvious that if he was standing there, he would've been wearing a huge grin and he would've winked before disappearing.

Jayden continued to stare straight ahead, still in shock at the conversation that had happened like it was nothing. It was as if Jimmy was standing right there talking to her. “Jade?” Brian's voice had snapped her back into reality.

Shaking her head quickly, Jayden looked over at Brian. “Hi.”

“You okay?”

“Don't say anything about this to him,” Jimmy's voice once again floated through the room, catching Jayden off guard. “Umm...yeah...”

“You look like you've seen a ghost,” Brian said, followed by Jimmy's laughter.

Jayden noticed that Brian hadn't flinched when Jimmy's voice filled the room. Does he really not hear this? Jayden asked herself. Holy shit, I'm going insane.