Don't Give Up On Us

I was still trying to avoid John after our little incident. It's pretty hard when he lives in the room right next to me. Looking all good and....AH he's even ruining this for me. 

I haven't seen Jordan either. I told him that I was sick this whole time and that I didn't want him to catch whatever I had. Thankfully he believed me and I almost cried with guilt. I've been trying my best to forget but like I said before, it's hard when he lives right next to me.

I was lying on the couch, face down when the door flew open. I didn't bother to look, his voice already telling me his identity.

"Who does he think he is," John mumbled. "Just because he started this whole thing doesn't mean shit." I heard him pace back and forth. I heard what sounded like a sniffle but before I could check to see, my phone began to vibrate unnecessarily loud.

"Val?"

I popped my head out.

"How long have you been there?" His voice trying its best to not reveal anything. He never cried in front of anyone and he didn't like to.

"Long enough."

"Where's Garrett and Kenny?"

"Not home. Are you okay? Not that I car-"

"No. No I'm not."

I was surprised by his answer. He doesn't always say what he feels either. He usually comes up with some stupid lie.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Just some horrible driver. Almost killed me." 

And there it is.

I raised an eyebrow. "Remember I was here the whole time. What really happened?"

"Nothing," He replied with a hint of irritation. "Just drop it."

"Fine, I couldn't care less anyway."

And there goes my lie.

"Fine." He said before turning quickly to the stairs and jogging to his room.

I rolled my eyes. Sooner or later he won't be so afraid to tell me what's wrong. It was probably another fight with one of the guys. It's been weeks now that they've been constantly fighting. Some fights worse than others.

I began to ignore him and the urge to go after him. I opened Draw Something on my phone and watched my opponent draw the word he chose. I looked at it questionably.

"What the fuck?" I muttered as I turned my phone at every different angle to figure out this horrible mess he called a drawing. 

While I shuffled the letters that were given to me, I was just about to quit and press "pass" but I didn't want to ruin our streak. We'd have to start over and my opponent would be angry if I did that again. An idea came to my mind, but I quickly erased it. 

'I'm not going to ask John for help, I can do this on my own!' I thought as I shook my head. I looked at the "drawing" once more, the bright colors hurting my eyes....but I'm only asking a simple question. No big deal. 

Right?

I got up with a groan and clutched my phone. I went upstairs and faced his closed door. I hesitated but lightly knocked three times. I let my arm fall and played with the string on my shorts. No response. I knocked two more and waited. Still no answer. I brought my ear to the door and listened for any sound. I heard the same sound that I heard when we were downstairs, the sound of a sniffle. This time it was constant. I looked down at the drawing once more and turned the knob, opening the door. I peeked my head inside and he was facing the window with his head down. 

I cleared my throat, "Can you, um, help me with this?" I asked quietly as I raised my phone.

He turned and I saw him, tears invading his red face. 

What got to me was that he didn't try to hide, come up with some lame excuse, or wipe his tears away. They continued to run down his cheeks and fall off his stubbly chin. He suddenly wasn't the bastard that seduced me that night. He was the guy I knew since I was 14. The one that had the box with his favorite picture of him and I. The one that knew how much I hated grape medicine but forced it in my system to make me feel better. The one that always found me at the lake whenever something was wrong. The one that endured watching Aladdin for the thousandth time with me no matter how much he didn't want to. The first one I saw when I opened my heavy eyes the day I was in the hospital. Sitting there, hopeless and vulnerable.

I slowly put down my phone and, without question, brought him in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me tight.

"I'm not going anywhere." I said softly as I rubbed his back.

And with that he bent down to bury his face in my shoulder and began to sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He said in between shaky breaths.

"It's okay."

"Nothing is going right. Everyone hates each other," He mumbled to my shoulder, talking about Jared, Pat, Garrett and Kennedy. After all they were like his brothers.

I continued rubbing his back.

"No one is speaking to one another," He began to hold me tighter. "I feel like it's my fault! I told them we could do it without the label, that we didn't need those dicks, but the more the label said no, the more we felt like giving up."

"No John don't your dare give up! Do you hear me? You're too strong for that."

"We might as well..." His voice cracked as he finished his sentence.

I wanted to respond but I couldn't. I stayed quiet for him to let it all out.

"Nothing is going right..." He trailed off as he inhaled deeply.

"I never wanted you to hate me," He cried. "But I'm sorry, I don't regret what I did. I love you too much."

I let go and looked at him, I hadn't noticed that tears were in my eyes until John wiped them away.

"You should go before you do something you'd regret." He murmured just as my laptop began to make a tone that someone was calling me through Skype.

My brain processed everything slowly. I got up, still looking at John's red eyes and composed myself. I jogged to my laptop in my room, took a deep breath, and answered the call as I sat on my bed and folded my legs.

Jordan was suddenly on my screen. He was laying down with the laptop on his stomach.

"Hey babe." He said.

"Hi." I responded with a smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not good." I was thankful at that point that my eyes were puffy.

"Aww, hope you feel better. I wanted to ask you something."

I felt nervous. "What?"

"So I have a two month tour coming up in the fall."

"Oh cool!"

"It's my second headlining tour and, well,"

I raised my eyebrows wanting to know what he wanted. "What?" I looked up and saw through the crack of my door John going to the bathroom to wash his face.

Jordan's voice startled me. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to join? Me? In the tour?"