The Ghost of You
If You Were Here, I'd Never Have A Fear.
While my parents couldn't face seeing Mikey's empty room, I found myself spending all my free time there. I would look at his things, his unmade bed, his bass in the only clean corner of the room, the clothes and clutter he left on the floor.
I know what I saw at the graveyard wasn't an illusion it was Mikey's ghost. Ghost who still manifest in the living world usually have unfinished business. There was no way he could move on while his killer was at large.
The police say they've found out a few things but nothing they can revel to us because it could complicate the investigation. But no one had been arrested so clearly they weren't getting far.
I held on to a pair of Mikey's glasses and was lost in thought when there was a light knock on the door. Ray and Frank entered a second later. “Hey Gee. Your mom told us you were in here.” Frank said as he pushed his dark hair off his forehead.
“Hey guys” I said as they stood awkwardly near the door. “Are you guys going to stand there all day or what?” I said standing up and pushing my chair near them.
“Dude this feels so weird.” Ray said as he sat down and Frank walked around looking around at Mikey's things. I rolled my eyes but I knew what he meant.
“Yeah yeah.” I said waving my hand around dismissively.
“We were about to go grab a bite to eat, hang out for a while, you in?” said Ray.
“I don't know.”
“Oh come on Gee, for old times sake.” Frank said.
“But it won't be like old times because Mikey won't be there.” I slowly shook my head. “It won't be the same.”
“I know but do you think Mikey would want you to mope around forever? He's want you to live.”
“We don't know what he would have wanted because he's dead now. We'll never know.” My voice was breaking so I turned away from them so I could wipe away a tear in my eye.
“Sorry Gee.” Frank said in a low voice. I know they were trying to help but I wasn't ready to get back to life as normal just yet.
Frank asked a question I had already asked myself. “Do you think he's with your grandma, or Bob?” Ray looked sad as I turned back around to face them. Frank had sat down on the bed, head bowed and I walked over to join him.
“Maybe. I hope so.” was all I could say. We were silent for a while all lost in his own thoughts. “I can't believe they're both gone. Shit how did this happen?”
Ray shook his head. “They say only the good die young,” he paused then said. “Shit what does that make us then?”
We start laughing, laughing so hard we lost our breaths and tears formed in our eyes. Those laughs turned to cries after a while. We all felt the same pain, we had lost a two brother.
The light's flickered in the room for a minute straight. I look to the ceiling, then there was a tapping on the window, Frank got up to look but nothing was there. The lights flicked on and off a few times more then stopped. We all looked at one another.
“What the fuck?” Frank said as he began moving towards the door. Ray and I were now standing too, I looked around the room.
“Mikey?” I whisper.
“Guys, we should go.” Ray said but his feet seemed to be planted to the floor. Frank's eyes were darting across the room waiting for any other sign that something strange was going to happen.
It didn't.
Ray let out a chuckle. I think he was trying to down play the fact that he was a bit spooked. “Guys let's get out of here, I'm starving. Gee you in?” I looked at Ray and nodded my head. “Yeah, let's go.”
I know what I saw at the graveyard wasn't an illusion it was Mikey's ghost. Ghost who still manifest in the living world usually have unfinished business. There was no way he could move on while his killer was at large.
The police say they've found out a few things but nothing they can revel to us because it could complicate the investigation. But no one had been arrested so clearly they weren't getting far.
I held on to a pair of Mikey's glasses and was lost in thought when there was a light knock on the door. Ray and Frank entered a second later. “Hey Gee. Your mom told us you were in here.” Frank said as he pushed his dark hair off his forehead.
“Hey guys” I said as they stood awkwardly near the door. “Are you guys going to stand there all day or what?” I said standing up and pushing my chair near them.
“Dude this feels so weird.” Ray said as he sat down and Frank walked around looking around at Mikey's things. I rolled my eyes but I knew what he meant.
“Yeah yeah.” I said waving my hand around dismissively.
“We were about to go grab a bite to eat, hang out for a while, you in?” said Ray.
“I don't know.”
“Oh come on Gee, for old times sake.” Frank said.
“But it won't be like old times because Mikey won't be there.” I slowly shook my head. “It won't be the same.”
“I know but do you think Mikey would want you to mope around forever? He's want you to live.”
“We don't know what he would have wanted because he's dead now. We'll never know.” My voice was breaking so I turned away from them so I could wipe away a tear in my eye.
“Sorry Gee.” Frank said in a low voice. I know they were trying to help but I wasn't ready to get back to life as normal just yet.
Frank asked a question I had already asked myself. “Do you think he's with your grandma, or Bob?” Ray looked sad as I turned back around to face them. Frank had sat down on the bed, head bowed and I walked over to join him.
“Maybe. I hope so.” was all I could say. We were silent for a while all lost in his own thoughts. “I can't believe they're both gone. Shit how did this happen?”
Ray shook his head. “They say only the good die young,” he paused then said. “Shit what does that make us then?”
We start laughing, laughing so hard we lost our breaths and tears formed in our eyes. Those laughs turned to cries after a while. We all felt the same pain, we had lost a two brother.
The light's flickered in the room for a minute straight. I look to the ceiling, then there was a tapping on the window, Frank got up to look but nothing was there. The lights flicked on and off a few times more then stopped. We all looked at one another.
“What the fuck?” Frank said as he began moving towards the door. Ray and I were now standing too, I looked around the room.
“Mikey?” I whisper.
“Guys, we should go.” Ray said but his feet seemed to be planted to the floor. Frank's eyes were darting across the room waiting for any other sign that something strange was going to happen.
It didn't.
Ray let out a chuckle. I think he was trying to down play the fact that he was a bit spooked. “Guys let's get out of here, I'm starving. Gee you in?” I looked at Ray and nodded my head. “Yeah, let's go.”
_______________________
That night I decided to sleep in Mikey's room. I went in his room after my parents went to bed. I sat on the bed a long while thinking about what had happened earlier. Just what in hell had happened?
I was growing very tired and as I was about to rest my head on Mikey's pillow I caught something in the corner of my eye. I turned and gasped as I saw Mikey standing two feet away a tiny smile on his face. “Mikey.”
“Gerard. You see me, you really see me this time. God I have been trying to get your attention for days. Listen I need your help. Badly.”
“Mikey what are you doing here? I knew that was you earlier, the lights. I just knew it, it couldn't have been anyone else. How is this possible? What's going on? How are you even here?” I just couldn't shut up. “I miss you Mikes, I miss you so bad it hurts.” I reached my hand out to touch him but he wasn't solid so it went straight through.
Mikey's face was full of sadness. “I missed you too big brother. But you need to listen to me , I need your help. You have to find the men who killed me.”
“Men, plural?” I ask. “Jesus Mikes, just how many were there? Tell me all of what happened.”
Mikey looked down at me and told me the of how he drove aimlessly that night and his car ran out of gas. When his cell couldn't get reception he accepted the help of strangers who said they would get him home. Three men. But instead they intended to rape Mikey and when he refused they shot him and kicked him out the car and left him to die.
I didn't interrupt as he spoke but my emotions were all over the map. I was pissed, angry that anyone would want to cause Mikey harm. Sad because there was nothing he could have done to survive that night and that his last moments alive were spent in pain and alone on the side of the road. And pride that Mikey didn't just give in to those men for the sake of possible survival.
I was also happy to be hearing Mikey's voice again when I never thought I would. When he finished he continued to stare at me as if he couldn't believe his eyes either. “I saw Bob.” he said suddenly.
“What? Really?” I asked my voice rising higher in surprise.
“Yeah he told me that in order to move on you have to help me find those motherfuckers and bring them to justice.”
“Mikey when I find them they'll wish they had never been born. Your death won't be in vain.”
“Thanks Gee.”
Just then dad opened the door. “Gerard, are you alright, I heard you talking.”
“Yeah everything's fine.” I look at Mikey then back to dad. He couldn't see him. And clearly hadn't heard him speaking either. “I was just gonna spend the night in here, if that's okay.”
“Yes that's fine. If you want to talk I'm here, okay.” Dad said.
“I know dad, thanks.”
“Alright.” He hesitated then said “Don't stay up too late. Goodnight.” He said as he closed the door. “Night.” I said quietly after he had gone. I turn back to Mikey and in a whisper I ask. “Why couldn't dad see you?”
“You're the only one who can see or hear me. It's a rule. You're the only on who can help my out of the in-between Gee. You're my only hope.”
The pleading in his voice nearly broke my heart. “I won't let you down Mikes, I promise.”
And I meant it.
That night I decided to sleep in Mikey's room. I went in his room after my parents went to bed. I sat on the bed a long while thinking about what had happened earlier. Just what in hell had happened?
I was growing very tired and as I was about to rest my head on Mikey's pillow I caught something in the corner of my eye. I turned and gasped as I saw Mikey standing two feet away a tiny smile on his face. “Mikey.”
“Gerard. You see me, you really see me this time. God I have been trying to get your attention for days. Listen I need your help. Badly.”
“Mikey what are you doing here? I knew that was you earlier, the lights. I just knew it, it couldn't have been anyone else. How is this possible? What's going on? How are you even here?” I just couldn't shut up. “I miss you Mikes, I miss you so bad it hurts.” I reached my hand out to touch him but he wasn't solid so it went straight through.
Mikey's face was full of sadness. “I missed you too big brother. But you need to listen to me , I need your help. You have to find the men who killed me.”
“Men, plural?” I ask. “Jesus Mikes, just how many were there? Tell me all of what happened.”
Mikey looked down at me and told me the of how he drove aimlessly that night and his car ran out of gas. When his cell couldn't get reception he accepted the help of strangers who said they would get him home. Three men. But instead they intended to rape Mikey and when he refused they shot him and kicked him out the car and left him to die.
I didn't interrupt as he spoke but my emotions were all over the map. I was pissed, angry that anyone would want to cause Mikey harm. Sad because there was nothing he could have done to survive that night and that his last moments alive were spent in pain and alone on the side of the road. And pride that Mikey didn't just give in to those men for the sake of possible survival.
I was also happy to be hearing Mikey's voice again when I never thought I would. When he finished he continued to stare at me as if he couldn't believe his eyes either. “I saw Bob.” he said suddenly.
“What? Really?” I asked my voice rising higher in surprise.
“Yeah he told me that in order to move on you have to help me find those motherfuckers and bring them to justice.”
“Mikey when I find them they'll wish they had never been born. Your death won't be in vain.”
“Thanks Gee.”
Just then dad opened the door. “Gerard, are you alright, I heard you talking.”
“Yeah everything's fine.” I look at Mikey then back to dad. He couldn't see him. And clearly hadn't heard him speaking either. “I was just gonna spend the night in here, if that's okay.”
“Yes that's fine. If you want to talk I'm here, okay.” Dad said.
“I know dad, thanks.”
“Alright.” He hesitated then said “Don't stay up too late. Goodnight.” He said as he closed the door. “Night.” I said quietly after he had gone. I turn back to Mikey and in a whisper I ask. “Why couldn't dad see you?”
“You're the only one who can see or hear me. It's a rule. You're the only on who can help my out of the in-between Gee. You're my only hope.”
The pleading in his voice nearly broke my heart. “I won't let you down Mikes, I promise.”
And I meant it.