The Ghost of You

“Shit.” I whispered as Mikey's ghost began disappearing. “Mikey? Mikey, come back I'm sorry.” I shouldn't have gotten mad at him. This must be hell for him but I couldn't help it, I missed him and the thought of never seeing him again made me selfish. But I'm guessing if the roles were reversed he'd do the same.
I called out for him again but he didn't reappear. I truly messed things up. “I'm sorry Mikes, come on don't act like such a kid.” I waited a little longer but when nothing happened I left the room .
Maybe I had dreamed the whole thing up, yeah that made sense. I wanted to see Mikey so bad that I made it all up in my mind. That's how we coped sometimes. It could just be my own grief leading me to believe Mikey's ghost was lingering around. If it was real, how come he hadn't returned?

I went hung out with Ray and Frank and for the rest day I pondered whether or not it was all real, but I dare not tell a soul. I don't know why, I just felt like this was my secret to keep. They might have me locked in a padded room if I told them I was not only seeing but speaking to my brother's ghost.
After along internal debate with myself, that night I went back to Mikey's room. I convinced myself that seeing Mikey had been real not a figment of my very active imagination.
I switched a light on, it was past midnight and I was tired but I had to set things right.

“Mikey, if you're still here I want you to know I'm sorry. I truly am. But you must understand that I miss you so much I can't stand the idea of losing you again. But I know how important this is for you and I want nothing more than to kill those bastards who killed you myself. Please show yourself, come back. I need you Mikes.” I held my breath and waited.
What if he could never return, what if I had driven him away for good? I'll never be able to for give myself. There was so much I wanted to say to him, what if I missed my one and only chance for closure? What would happen to Mikey's soul if he couldn't cross over completely?
I put my head in my hands and tried to stay calm but couldn't. My pain and anger was bubbling up, I felt the hot tears in my eyes and the lump forming in my throat. I grabbed a handful of hair and pulled.
“Hey Gee.” I looked up and there was Mikey standing a few feet away with his hands in his pocket and a sad expression on his angelic face. “Miss me.”
“Where have you been? I thought you left for good. Don't do that ever again. I was worried sick.” I tried not to sound pissed off but a hint of my anger slipped into my voice.
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten mad, it's not your fault. But I didn't leave on my own, something pulled me back.”
“Well where did you go. Did you see Bob again? Is he pissed at me for getting mad at you?”
“That's it, I went nowhere, it was just black. My tie to the living world is through you. I can only appear when you want me here. Maybe that's why I faded away, because we fought.” He hugged his waist.
“How could you have forgotten to tell me that?” I said, my voice was shaky.
“I'm sorry Gee I'm trying to get used to this whole being dead thing. And no one else can help me with this, it's up to you and you alone. That is if you still want to help.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Don't be mad at Mikey I told myself, he's trying his best.
I opened my eyes. “Of course I still want to help you, you're my brother.”
That cheered him up. “Thanks Gee.”
“What are brothers for? Now, you ready to do this?”
“Right now? What time is it?” He asked, surprised looking out the window at the night sky.
I checked my watch. “Nearly two. No time like the present.”
“We can wait til daylight, you need to rest.”
“You sure? I mean you were ready this morning. You didn't have a change of heart did you?”
“No, but we just should wait until the suns up at least.”
“If you insist, Mikes.” I stifled a yawn. “You don't plan on slipping away on me again?”
He hook his head. “I'll be here. Why are you so eager to get started now?”
“I had some time to think and as much as it pains me to let you go, it hurts more to think of what it all must be like for you.” I couldn't say much more than that. Mikey gave me a small smile.
“Thanks Gerard.” I nodded my head sleepily. “Sleep.” Mikey insisted.
I was about to object but I began to feel sleep taking me.
"Oh, Mikey." I said pulling the sheets over me.
"Yeah?"
Through a yawn I said "I love you, kid."
"I love you too Gee."
My head hit the pillows just before my eyes shut.