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Rowan's POV

After all of my classes, I was acutely aware of Sebastian lurking and waiting to apologize to me. That's how he was sometimes, he was too nervous to get snapped at by me, so he waited for me to come to him. But I was so not in the mood, I was tired, hungry, and kinda worried. Was I being followed? I thought heading into the library for lunch so I wouldn't have to see Sebastian. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

I went into the little computer nook area and huddled up over a computer. My fingers automatically typed in my query in the search bar.

"Wo-lv-es" I spelled out quietly to myself. Immediately, pictures of the majestic and awe inspiring animals filled the screen. I clicked a link to a site and began to read, printing off the page and shoving it in my bag. I would prove to Sebastian that Wolves did not get 'lost' in this area. Especially in this state, they all came from the north. I remembered the grey wolf from this morning and shuddered thinking about it.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped, turning slowly. A girl with average looks and glasses smiled at me.

"Hi, Uh, I know this is totally random but I noticed you were looking up wolves." I nodded, exing out of the browser.

"Yeah..." I said as her face turned about 6 shades of red.

"I'm May and I can tell you absolutely anything you need to know about wolves. They're kinda my hobby. And my dad studies them" she added pushing her brown hair behind her ear and smiling. I pointed to the chair next to me and she sat. I'm pretty sure she was in my Geosystems class, she usually sat in the back of the room and doodled, only talking when the teacher asked her a question.

"I'm Rowan..." I said, not really knowing where to start. Of course I wasn't going to reveal my odd dreams or suspicions, but I was curious as to why there were random grey wolves prowling around. "Do wolves ever...just get lost?" I asked sheepishly playing with my knit scarf. May shook her head slowly and thought.

"No, they have a pretty awesome sense of direction. We dont have many wolves in this area...did you see one?"

"No no!" I rushed putting my hand up, "I'm just curious, wolves are pretty cool animals." May did a half grin, half of a beautiful smile hidden behind a nerdy exterior.

"No one gets it! Like, everyone cares about shopping and boys and...Sebastian." she said this last part quietly, I guess realizing that Sebastian was my best friend. I laughed as the bell rang shrilly.

"Yeah, but who really does care about those things anyway and has a brain?" I said standing up as May stood up. She waved awkwardly.

"Thanks for your help." I said shyly. She rubbed her arm and shrugged.

"It's nothing."

But it really wasn't, she only made me question what I knew more.
• • •

I caught the bus home after school, trying to sneak past Sebastians car. I read the articles on wolves the whole way home, strangely fascinated with their teeth...their power.

I came home, seeing a strange car in the driveway. I hiked my bookbag around my shoulder and headed up the pathway to the front door. There was yelling behind it, I opened it slowly, the house warm and sticky. All the lights were on and I immediately ran into my grandmother who stormed up the stairs, her bathrobe flailing behind her like a cape. She didn't even stop to see me, this was the most angry I had ever seen her.

My grandfather was in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, his head in his palm. I dropped my backpack on the counter with a thud.

"Whats going on?" I asked, my stomach grumbling as I noticed raw meat he had set out for dinner.

"We tried to do everything right...I just don't understand where we went wrong." He said staring at the wall. I waved a hand in front of his face.

"YO! Earth to gramps, whats going on?" I asked as he blinked at me.

"Your mother is home."

My stomach dropped to my stomach as I held on to the counter for support.

"Wait...when did she get here? Why is she here?" I had a million and one questions swirling around my head, fighting to come out of my mouth. My grandfather shook his head and began to wash his hands in the sink.

"While You were at school. She just...showed up. Your grandmother and I were just getting ready to leave, and she showed up."

I looked up at the stairs at the dark hall and I shuddered, losing my appitite. Why is she back? I wondered as my grandfather sighed and began to put the meat in a pan. The sun shone from behind a cloud outside of the window and hit my face, I hopped away, avoiding it . The sun right now made my skin feel as if it were going to melt, it tingled and burned all over.

I walked to the staircase, my hand lingering on the rail, it was silent in the house, as if someone had turned off the sound. My chest felt tight as I began to walk up and notice that my mothers door was closed. I bit my lip approaching her door. The last time I saw my mother was a few months ago, and she was just a whirlwind of crazy...had she changed? Have I changed since then?

I raised my clenched fist to the door and knocked lightly. Not even a second had passed and it flew open, my mother who was the same height as me stared at me with dark eyes. Her hair floated around her head like a shrouded crown and her skin seemed paler. But otherwise, she didn't seem different. Wearing all black and clutching at a necklace with a cross on it, she smiled at me. I didn't know what to say.

"Rowan." She breathed taking a step back and letting me into her room. I walked in feeling uncomfortable, I lived in this house and passed this room everyday. But I just couldnt bring myself to ever go in, It was like an unspoken pact with myself. Her room was spacious and dim, overlooking the front of the house and decorated as if she still lived in it. There was a musky smell and I could see dust motes floating from places my hand touched as I traveled to the floor length window. My mother sat on the bed, which creaked under her weight.

"You can sit if you want." She said gesturing to a desk chair. I looked at it and then at her, shaking my head.

"No thank you." I said biting my lip. My mother sighed and it was then that I could see how tired she looked. Her eyes had dark circles underneath, proof that she wasn't okay. A grey streak was woven into her hair, it caught the light and glimmered. The room was silent as a tomb as she tapped a foot on the floorboard.

"Have you been taking your pills?" She asked finally, clasping her bony fingers in her lap like a birds nest.

"Where have you been?" I blurted out, staring her in the eye. It was one of the times where I wished that Sebastian was here to calm me down, but the last thing I needed was him all in my family affairs. He'd probably think I was crazier than I already was. My mother stared at me, secrets being pushed around her head.

"Taking care of things." She said looking to her lap. I wanted to tear my hair out and scream.

"Things." I said through gritted teeth. The endless nights of me wondering about my mother, trying to conjure up how she looked now, or if she smelled the same over time all caused by taking care of "things". "Horseshit." I said turning to the window and trying to fight back tears. I had never cried in front of anyone before and I didn't plan on doing it now.

"Row, I'm just doing whats best for us. Whats best for you. I mean, you can't possibly think even for a second that you're like everyone else."

I bit my lip so hard that I could taste blood. I wiped it away and stared at her.

"I AM like everyone else. My body just works differently." I said scratching my neck as she scoffed.

"Yeah, I definitely wouldn't know what you're going through...being your MOTHER and all." She said sarcastically, her brown eyes burning a hole into the wood floor. I pursed my lips, trying to hold back what I REALLY wanted to say.

"Well whatever you're doing here, finish it and go. Because I was doing just fine without you." She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and smiled, getting up off of the bed.

"My work is done, just...call me when everything falls apart." She said switching her lamp off and giving me one last glance before she left the room.

I waited until I heard the front door slam shut. Turning to the window, I looked out of the curtains and watched my mom start the car and back out of the driveway. It was then that I finally let myself cry.

Sebastian's POV

I was throwing everything into the trunk for my weekend getaway up north when I saw Rowan's mom peel out of their driveway. I stared after her in awe, wondering what was going on to make her come back. I knew that I would soon get my answer as Rowan came outside, a big blue coat pushed up under her chin as she came over to my house. No doubt her grandmother made her wear it, because Rowan was never one to wear winter things. I closed the trunk.

"Hey." I said, feeling as if I were asking more of an open ended question. She looked at me as she got closer. Her nose was red and dripping and her hair was a mess.

"Hi." She said, her voice gritty. I guess we weren't fighting anymore.

"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time. It was getting dark out, but I could still see that she was blushing,

"You don't have to apologize." I said leaning against the car and feeling winters chill settle in my stomach like sugar at the bottom of a teacup. The moon was only an outline now and I had to make it up north soon. Rowan blinked a few times.

"I shouldn't have overreacted." She said as my house door slammed. My cousin came out carrying a six pack of beer, he looked at Rowan, his eyes hiding something.

"Who's your friend?" Markus asked even though I've talked about Rowan maybe a hundred times.

"Rowan Stewart." She said having a look of dryness on her face. Yeah, Markus had that effect on people. My cousin grunted and got into the passenger seat of my car. I pointed at my car.

"Well, we have the gathering to get to. But I'll call you the minute I get there and we can talk okay?" Rowan nodded as I grabbed her cold body for a hug. She was stiff against me for a second, and then she melted right into the hug.

"Be safe. Come back." She said, backing away when Markus honked the horn. I swallowed, nodding and going to the drivers seat of the car. I closed her out in the cold and started the car.

"She's a cute one. You bang her yet?" Markus asked, his eyes flashing as he put in a metal cd. I growled at him, going primal.

"It's NOT like that." I said, narrowing my eyes and leaving my house watching Rowan walk back to her house. Normally I would have snapped at Markus and turned off the stupid metal cd, but the moon was making my senses riot and I needed music to match.

"Whatever." Markus said putting his sunglasses on even though it was night. "Whatever you say."
• • •

We drove for what seemed like hours, the moon hanging low behind the trees as I skidded off of the turnpike and down the way of a good family friends house. I felt my phone vibrate once the whole ride, it was probably my mother reminding me of her and my fathers return from Paris tonight. But I didn't care, I never did.

We arrived at the sprawling mansion on the outskirts of town. Floor to ceiling windows watched us and pillars of plaster stood tall against the beams of the house. Markus was now jiggling his leg and sitting on the edge of his seat as we saw dozens of cars, bumper to bumper in the long driveway. I stopped the car, gazing up at the house with light pouring out of every window. There were shouts and howls and laughing from close by. Markus rubbed his hands together and looked to me, his green eyes glowing hot and auburn hair almost raising with electricity.

"What are we waiting for?" He asked hungrily as a distant cousin of mine pounded on the window and made devil horns with his fingers. I shivered as Markus pushed the door open and let the heat of my car out which in turn let the cold in. He lugged the beer out as well and joined my other cousin in howling. I got out of the car and followed them into the small mass of bodies, all heading to hell.

The friend of our family who owned the house Mason came out of the garage, greeting me. He had some black oil on his face from probably fixing his motorcycle as usual and patted my shoulder. He was a criminal justice lawyer and was so rich, he could afford to be as lavish as he wanted to be. But he was still humble. I stopped, letting everyone pass me as they went inside. I can't believe I agreed to come here, the last time I did this, I got lost in myself for weeks.

"Sebastian! I thought you'd never come. You've been avoiding us like the plague." He said kindly. Mason was supposed to be the most fearsome of all of us. But I felt that he was just too nice to be that. I shrugged as his brown eyes snapped to the moon and back to my face. "Well, I'm glad you came, Its mighty lonely to be by yourself on a night like this."

I thought about what I could be doing at home, in the safe confines of my house, laying out with a good book or watching a scary movie with Rowan. But lately, I haven't been able to keep myself in check. I felt as if I were lying to myself for the sake of Rowans trust.

"Well, I just wanted to try it with other people since I had nothing better to do at home." I said. This comment came out sounding a bit mean and I saw Mason's rugged face fall and then piece back together again.

"It'll be worthwhile...I promise."

• • •

The night carried on with smothering kisses and exclamations from my relatives and family friends as I waited for that feeling in which my cousin explained would be 'natural'. I mean, I had been through what was going to go through tonight hundreds of times, but never as a sport. We all ate food, like a potluck and watched the football games. Like we were normal. We were good at pretending when we had to. As it became later, around midnight, Mason stood on his marble counter and whistled for everyones attention. Everyone turned and looked at him obediently, stopping what they were doing. The TV was muted and plates were set down. I nervously switched from foot to foot as Markus bounced on his heels.

"It's time my brothers and sisters." Mason said, looking like a god, with his arms outstretched and the light of the chandelier illuminating his face. Everyone howled and stomped their feet pounding fists in the air and waiting for Mason to speak again. "Join me outside as we rove the night. We must conquer! We must turn into our natural states! We must triumph over those disgusting leeches that call the full moon THEIR territory."

"Disgusting vampires. Pieces of shit." Markus grumbled under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fists. The crowd began to filter outside into the bone chilling night, my aunts, uncles, strangers, friends shedding of their clothes as they went. Long shadows stretched like gaunt monsters across the packed dirt of the backyard. I saw my breath swirl around my head as I pulled my shirt off nervously. The moon was a proud martyr in the sky, her face as bold and true as the front of a quarter. I wanted to laugh at the ignorance of it all, it wasn't the moon that made us who we were, it was the coldness the full moon brought that mad us change. I guess tradition overpowers common sense.

Markus had already run into the forest beyond the yard, becoming a distant shape in the landscape. I could feel my insides tremble as my abdomen burned, ebbed, and bowed. Mason caught up to me, his pupils round and black, his muscles protruding.

"Are you ready?" He asked me, his voice switching between his own and one I couldn't distinguish. I nodded, frightened as I pulled my jeans off and discarded of them. I hadn't done this in a while. He ran off, completely naked, his back muscles rippling as his body contorted into another shape. For a second, I felt as if I were in a nightmare. This wasn't reality was it? I was just dreaming...

And then Mason was a creature with a quivering furry jaw and ears of a dogs. A half man, half animal with black fur cascading across his back, paws beating the bare earth. My skull was exploding with pain as I crouched, an uncle of mine now a wolf and tearing past me at a gallop.

It was time. My body screamed as I began to run, completely naked towards the forest. And sure enough, my insides turned out as I pounced to the forest floor, my paws clawing at the ground.

This was my reality. And yes...everyone had secrets. Mine was one Rowan could never know. I was a wolf. Half coward, half animal.

Rowan's POV

Sebastian never called. My phone didn't even vibrate. I decided to leave it at home and escape this house with the broken faces and untold stories. I tromped out in the cold, heading to the mall down the street. The moon was high in the sky and ominous as it dragged lonely streaks across the road. I shoved my hands into my pockets and cursed myself for not bringing my ipod. A twig cracked not far away and my head snapped around. The street was empty and the underbrush by me didn't show any life. I walked faster shaking my head.

"I'm just stressing." I said, trying to push the eyes of the man in the crowd earlier from my head. And then I heard it again. My extrasensory senses were tingling as I stopped and looked around.

"Hello?" I said, knowing good and well that I probably sounded like one of those stupid girls from the horror movies. They always died first. I thought, my heart pounding as I broke into a jog. I looked behind me for a second, and tripped over something in the process. I wiped out on the pavement, my palms skidding on the asphalt, pebbles melding into my hand. I could smell the coppery smell of blood, it burned my nostrils as my eyes began to water.

But it wasn't my blood I smelled first. Looking over at what I had tripped on, I saw a bunny, curled up on the ground and neck snapped. Crawling backwards, I gasped and cried out. Getting over the fact that this poor thing was just lying twisted on the ground, I leaned in closer to inspect. It wasn't the telltale look of a car running it over, or a wild animal attacking it. It looked strategically placed and drained dry...like someone did it on purpose. My stomach growled, as I pressed my sweating palms to my stomach.

The eyes of the man throbbed in my brain as I scrambled to my feet and began to run away.
• • •

It didn't take me but five minutes to get to the mall when I took the shortcut. I bursted into the warm center, it was pretty packed and easy for me to blend in amongst my schoolmates and housewives searching for christmas presents.

I meandered around and decided to go into the bookstore to calm down. I couldn't stop replaying the scene of the bunny on the ground. What the FUCK was going on? I thought morbidly crossing my arms so no one could see my bloodied palms. Before I could go into the bookstore, I heard someone call out to me from another store. My heart raced as I stopped.

"Rowan!" I looked over at a kids shoe store and seeing that girl May from earlier. I calmed down at seeing her face peeking from behind the counter. I walked in, hearing the lame 80's music fill the store and seeing the neat rows of shoes all facing the same way. May was wearing an all black uniform and had her hair up.

"Hey." I said smiling grimly. She looked at me and smiled.

"You looked lost." She said pricing a shoe. Didn't my mom work in shoe store at one point in her life? I wondered as I nodded and leaned on the counter.

"It's been a long night." I said putting Purell on my hands and wiping them clean with a Kleenex.

"I get off of work like now...do you maybe want to get some tea?" She asked shyly as I bit my lip. Whoa...were we like...friends? I wondered as I nodded my head.

"Yeah. That'd be cool." I said as she grabbed her purse.

Once you got to know her, May was a chatterbox. She talked about everything and anything, her pale face turning pink with the effort. We went across from her job to a really zen tea spot and ordered two iced strawberry lemonade teas.

"...and I thought that she was asking me for pleasure when she was REALLY asking me to MEASURE her daughters feet!" She said as I almost spit my tea out. She was telling me a story as we walked out into the night to her car. She had offered me a ride and I accepted, not wanting to brave the walk alone. I still felt funny about going outside, but I also felt a bit safer with May chattering away in my ear. I got into her Honda after she unlocked the door. I gazed up at the moon as I heard a wolf bay, far away.

"Creepy night huh?" I said as May started the car.

"Yeah, full moon is when all the freaks come out." She said mischeviously. "My ex girlfriend used to say that all the time." She said hitting the gas and speeding out of the lot. I gulped.

Girlfriend? May???

GIRLFRIEND?