That Should Be Me

For the first two days, I couldn't comprehend what was happening.

Nick and Ellie would just..kiss right in front of me.

And it killed me knowing I couldn't do anything about it.

All because I'm a stubborn asshole.

"Justin? Are you sure you're okay without me here?" Selena asked at the door.

"Yes. Go do your tour, I'm going to try and remember." I told her.

I started thinking, what if none of that was real? What if that was just a dream I had while I was unconscious? They told me I hit my head pretty hard...

But how would I know all of this stuff about her? Down to her back dimples, and the matching freckles on her inner thighs?

Her favorite everything, her least favorite things.

There's no way I could have dreamt this up.

I need to get back to whatever or wherever I was, where Ellie is mine, and I feel whole.

"Goodbye, Ellie. I'll see you in a couple months." Nick missed her, "Call all the time, I'll miss you, baby."

I cringed, and Ellie's nose scrunched up slightly.

She hates being called baby.

Selena and Nick were going on a joint tour, leaving Ellie and I alone.

She slowly turned to me, she took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Why do you let him call you baby? When you hate it so much?" I asked.

She stared at me shocked, "How did you know that?"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh please, Elizabeth. I know everything about you. Don't be so surprised."

"You really hit your head hard, Justin I've never told anyone that before."

"Hitting my head has nothing to do with anything, I know you better than you know yourself. And right now, you're seriously considering it to be a possibility. " I said.

"You're kind of creeping me out." She chuckled, but she wasn't joking.

"I haven't creeped on you or anything. I'm not some sketchy guy who just studies you and watches you without you knowing. I just do, Elizabeth. I always have, and I always will."

"Prove it. Tell me something nobody else knows about me."

"You hate surprises, you hate pet names, your favorite food is fried chicken, you love sour candy, your favorite color is yellow, when you're really comfortable like when you fall asleep cuddling, you talk in your sleep, and you have twin moles on both thighs." I said confidently.

She stared at me with her mouth hanging wide open, "H-how do you kn-know that?" She stuttered.

"I'll tell you when the time is right. I don't watch you, I'm not a creepy stalker, and I'm not a psycho. I promise, I'm completely normal."

She smiled at me, "Well I'm flattered. Let's watch a movie." She held out her hand.

I put mine in it, and she led me to the living room.

She picked The Notebook, cliché, but I told her she could pick.

I guess you could say we were cuddling, but we really weren't. There was only one blanket downstairs, and I was like half asleep with my arm on the back of the couch when she started dozing off and fell into my side.

And that made me feel whole again.

How the hell am I going to get myself out of this?

"Does he love you the way I can? Did you forget all the plans that you made with me? 'Cause, baby, I didn't."