Please Don't Leave Me

Saturday morning found the All Time Low band and crew in a hotel in some city that only Flyzik or Cloussy knew the name of. More specifically it found Evan and Ian cuddled together on one of the two single beds. Evan cuddled up to Ian’s side, half asleep.

“So, it’s almost been a year” Evan mumbled into Ian’s chest.

“I know, and a fantastic year it’s been” Ian said. It really had been a fantastic year for Ian. He was one of the guitar techs for All Time Low and got to tour the world. He had been to almost every continent in the world, all in one year. But the best thing of this year had to be Evan; he was so nice, so calm, so understanding. He knew that Ian wasn’t ready for everyone to know.

“Exactly, but there is one thing that would make it so much better” Evan said while playing with Dan’s fingers.

He was going to bring up wanting to tell people again. “You know I don’t feel comfortable with everyone knowing yet” Ian replied while shifting their position so that they were laying on their sides face each other.

“But why? I still don’t understand! It’s been nearly a year and you still don’t want anyone to know. Is it because you’re embarrassed about me? Just tell me what I’m doing wrong?” It seems like Evan had finally snapped because right after the first word came out of his mouth he was up off the bed and standing on the side opposite to Ian.

“It’s nothing to do with you, you’re fine the way you are. There’s nothing you’re doing wrong” Ian tried to reason with Evan, to get him to calm down. Evan doesn’t get mad often, he’s normal pretty chill but when Evan snaps, he really snaps.

“Then why exactly can’t anyone know? Jack’s dating Dan, Alex’s dating Jeff, Zack’s practically married to Flyzik, and Grecio and Danny have been dating since Danny worked for Fall Out Boy! No one in this band or in its crew is homophobic! No one would care, I just want everyone to know that I’m in a relationship with you can that I love you! I hate that my sister keeps setting me up on dates with her friends because she doesn’t know that I’m dating you. I just want everyone to know! I can’t hide anymore!” Ian knew what Evan was hinting at, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Then go tell everyone if that will make you happy!” Ian spat back at Evan. He didn’t mean to sound angry; it just came out that way.

“But I don’t want to tell people if you don’t want to. I’ve dated enough closeted ‘straight’ guys to know when their comfortable with people knowing that their not 100% straight, but the longest I’ve ever put up with one if you and to be honest I have no idea why I have” Evan said while stomping around the room and throwing all of his stuff into his bag.

“I have no idea why I’ve put up with you either. You’re so whiny and needy, I can never go 10 minutes without you texting me something or when we’re home you’re always calling me. Can you not be left alone by yourself for more than 2 fucking minutes?” Ian said right back to Evan. He didn’t mean anything coming out of his mouth, and he had no idea why he was saying it either. He had no reason to be mad at Evan. Evan had put up with his shit for nearly a year now, Ian didn’t even know how Evan had put up with it.

“Well maybe I should leave you the fuck alone then!” Evan shot Ian a nasty look and walked straight out the door and slammed it on his way out.

Ian had no idea what just happened. He and Evan just broke up and he knew it was completely his fault. His brain was telling him to run out after Evan and to apologize about everything and just tell everyone right then, but his feet didn’t want to move. No matter how many times his brain told him to run after Evan because Evan was the best thing is his life, his feet just wouldn’t move. He really wanted Evan back, he hadn’t even been gone for 5 minutes and Ian already missed the blonde, his quirky jokes and his adorable little laugh. Ian had no idea what to do, so he did what he always does when he has no idea what to do. He called his older sister.

The five rings it took for his sister to pick up was the longest it had ever taken.

Brat, I thought I told you not to call me while I was working

Sorry, I have yet to memorize your every changing schedule

Ok, there something wrong with you. There was no sarcasm in that sentence at all

I’m completely fine, how’re Trayven and the kids?

Trayven is fine, hasn’t been home much since the other surgeon is on vacation. Riven and Kyler are fine too, their staring school so soon. Now since you asked about my life, I get to ask all about yours young Ian. How have you and Kirken been doing?

Not so well currently

Are those tears I hear? Ian, everything will be fine. Next time I see him I’ll be sure to hurt him for hurting my baby brother.

But it was completely my fault Ashlee! If anything you should give Evan an award for dealing with me for so long.

It can’t be completely your fault E,

But Ashlee, it completely is! The reason we broke up was because I didn’t want anyone to know! I mean, it’s not like I don’t want people to know, it’s just that I don’t want every one to hate me again. I don’t want to have to go through that again.

Oh Ian! No one should have to go through what you did, but did you ever tell Evan exactly what happened? I know you told him that dad wasn’t in your life, but did you ever tell him why?

No, I meant, I wanted to but I couldn’t. I didn’t want Evan to think I was week or something. I’m supposed to protect him, I didn’t want him doubting that.

Ian, you know Evan wouldn’t think that. Evan loved you, he still loves you.

I know he wouldn’t think that, but I just, eurgh. I don’t even know anymore. I miss Evan and I want him back, but I made his break up with me and I just want him back!

Ian, I really wish I do more to help you, but I really have to go back to work. If you need to talk to someone call me or Celia. As mean as this sounds, you really need to let what he did to you go. Maybe you could try telling them that you’re bi to begin with? Something Ian, I’m pretty sure even that is a step in the right direction in Evan’s opinion.

Ok, I can do that. I’ll talk to you later.

Talking to Ashley made Ian realize a few things. One; was that he needed Evan, probably more then Evan needed him. Two; that he needed to get over what his father did to him.

What better way to get something spread around the band and crew then to go and talk to the one with the biggest mouth.