The Mind Killer

Walking behind the people carrying my parents was like watching the vision of the car crash all over again. Only Alex, his friends, and I knew that it was my fault.
The funeral made my eyes water, but the tears never spilled out; I blinked them away to fast. The whole neighborhood was there to pay their respects. The only one not there was Joseph Tarick Mason. I think this funeral was somewhat a memorial for him.
The grave stones still looked like they were crying; it was raining again. Rain water going through the calligraphic words.
Gravestones still haven't been bought yet for my parents. I planned on having a special message from me on it.
People carried roses and notes to put in the caskets before they were buried. I carried a sudoku puzzle book. Just not one with the puzzle they were doing in the car.
My parents were dressed in their best clothes, as if maybe they were attending their own funeral.
I grasped Alex's hand tightly, remembering every good moment I had ever had with my parents: my first day of high school; the day my dad got a promotion; when I got upset because of a breakup in junior high.
Alex squeezed my hand and walked foward, following the caskets. Everyone behind me marched foward as if this were bootcamp and not a funeral.
When we reached the big hole, the men sat the caskets down, came up to me, nodded, and walked away to the back of the group.
At the viewing, I had insisted that I wouldn't cry here, not in front of everyone, that I would be strong, but now, now I wasn't so sure.
Alex let go of my hand and put his hand on the small of my back. I looked at him. "Alex. I don't think I can do this."
"Ally, I know it's hard. But you only have to be here for a few more minutes."
I nodded.
I let the priest talk for a few minutes, and then I talked to relatives, and thanked my aunt for the wonderful outfit.
I decided I had to be strong just one more time. So I went up to touch each of the caskets just one more time, before I would never see my parents again.

When I got home, I curled up under the blankets on my bed. Alex came over and snuggled with me. I turned my face into his chest and cried. And then I fell asleep in his arms.