Wasted

Autumn stepped inside her apartment quietly and looked around for any sign of her roommates. The lights were dimmed, meaning they were in their rooms fast asleep. It was a little past midnight when Autumn opened her door wider to let Gerard in. He stepped in quietly, tip-toeing behind her to her room.

As he walked behind her he felt like a teenager all over again. It reminded him of being young and sneaking into his crushes’ houses long after their parents were asleep. Autumn’s stomach was rumbling up with butterflies as she led him into her room, the nostalgia of being a teenager creeping on her.

They had left the bar over an hour ago and said their goodbyes to the boys separately. The boys had no idea the two had spilled their feeling to each other with a few cigarettes and both Autumn and Gerard wanted to keep it that way.

She sank down into her bed and patted the space next to her. He sat beside her with a small smile and was mesmerized by the way her eyes turned yellow in the moonlight coming from her window.

They were silent for a few seconds, both unsure of what to say and nervous.
“Did I tell you I kind of always had a crush on you?” Gerard asked a small smile on his lips and he thanked his lucky stars it was dark in her room; his cheeks had flushed a bright red and he could feel the heat rising higher.

Autumn looked up at him, her eyes wide and surprised. She let out a small laugh and shook her head. “Did you really?”

“Yeah. I remember that day Frank brought you to Matt’s party and I was drunk off my mind but you still caught my eye.”

Autumn felt her cheeks burn and she looked down sheepishly. He noticed her sudden movement and let out a small chuckle.

“That was before I knew what makeup was.” She mumbled, a hint of laughter in her voice.

Gerard swallowed thickly, nervous but letting his confidence and feelings for Autumn get the best of him. “Makeup or not, I still find you gorgeous.” He murmured and brushed back some hair behind her ear. She looked up, her eyes catching the light and making Gerard’s heart beat quicken.

“Are you always this cheesy?” She didn’t say it mockingly, she giggled and grabbed his hand, placing it on her lab and rubbing small circles with her thumb.

Neither of them knew where this sudden comfort and confidence was coming from but they were breathing it all in.

“What’s your favorite ice cream?” Autumn asked a few seconds later. She wanted to get to know him better and she figured a small game of twenty questions could help.

He gave her a crooked smile, “Mint chocolate chip. Yours?”

“Strawberry shortcake.” She grinned.

A few random and interesting questions later they both found themselves lying beside each other on her bed.

“So he puts weed in my brownies and my dumb ass didn’t know so I just take them to the bake sale and next thing I know Frank has gotten every person at my college orientation stoned.” Autumn laughed, recalling the memory of a few years ago.
Gerard laughed beside her; his giggle was something different that Autumn had never heard from someone else before. It was childish and adorable but you wouldn’t expect it to come from him.

“He’s like your brother isn’t he?” Gerard asked softly, not wanting to tread on dangerous waters. Autumn looked over at him and nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“That’s how I feel about Mikey sometimes. You know when he’s not being an annoying little pansy.” Gerard grinned playfully and rolled his eyes.

Autumn smirked over at him, “I think his brother can be more of a pansy.” Gerard’s jaw slacked and he feigned offense. “Me? A pansy?” He sat up and towered over her. His arms were placed right next to her head as he looked down at her a mischievous grin on his lips.

“Yes. A pansy.” Autumn repeated with a smug smile. Gerard snorted but his arms immediately went to her hips, his fingers tickling her stomach and making her erupt into a fit of giggles.

“St- stop!” Autumn stammered with laughter. Her hands were trying to pry Gerard off of her but she was too ticklish to get him off. He laughed evily, throwing his head back, “Muahaha!”

“Gee, stop!” She giggled and shouted out loud.

His fingers stopped along her waist. “Did you just call me Gee?” He raised an eyebrow down at her.

She looked away, not wanting to look him in the eye and snapped, “No.”

He smirked. “I liked it.”

Autumn rolled her eyes and rolled around so her face was mushed in her pillow. “I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.” She groaned.

Gerard looked over at the clock on her bedside table and his eyes widened. “Holy fuck.” They had been talking since midnight and it was now nearing four in the morning. He couldn’t believe he wasn’t tired.

“What?” She sat up, her messy hair covering most of her face. Gerard nodded over to the clock. “Looks like we’ve been pulling an all-nighter.”

She groaned again. “I can’t believe I’m not even tired.” Neither of them really cared that it was so late. They would both gladly accept the fatigue they would both face at work in a couple of hours.

“I should get going. I have work in a few hours.” Gerard sighed and sat up, planting his feet softly on the carpet of her room.

She sat up, resting her head against the headboard and for a second Gerard saw the vision of them in bed together after a night of sex. He looked away quickly, hiding the massive red blush on his face and swallowed back the rest of his thoughts.

“I guess so. I’ll walk you out.” She mumbled, disappointed that he was leaving. But she had to sleep at least a bit to get through tomorrow.

Once they reached her front door an awkward silence hung above them. Neither knew what to say.

“So, I’m guessing we’re not telling Frank about…” Gerard struggled to find the words, “us?” He grimaced, afraid he worded it wrong but quickly hid it. Autumn took no notice of it and didn’t even question his use of words.

“No. Especially not with all of his drama around Pencey Prep going on. He’ll just blow up even worse than he would on any normal day.” She sighed and ran a quick hand through her hair.

Gerard knew she was right. Pencey Prep was on the rocks and everyone knew they were on the verge of breaking up. Frank wasn’t taking it lightly and everyone was trying to be as subtle about it as possible whenever he was around.

“Alright. Well, I’ll see you soon then?” Gerard bit his lip, afraid of her reaction again.

She looked up and smiled warmly at him. “Yeah. Goodnight Gee.” His crooked smile widened when she used the small nickname she had spoken just a few minutes ago.

He leaned over and pecked her cheek shyly. “Goodnight Fall.”