Wasted

Autumn squinted as soon as her eyes fluttered open from sleep. The sun was pouring in from her window, coming through her blinds and shined down on the person next to her. She tilted her head up and smiled to herself beside Gerard. Their legs were tangled together, with her head against his chest and his right arm around her, holding her closer. He had slept over the night before without any funny business, just a night full of catching up and opening up to one another again.

Her fingers lightly traced invisible patterns along his pale skin, free of his shirt and she giggled quietly when she noticed him stirring. He poked one eye open and looked down; Autumn’s eyes were gleaming in the sun basked room, turning into a hazy yellow and her freckles popped up along her cheeks.

He caught his breath and spoke up groggily.”Mornin’ sugar.”

“Morning sleepyhead.” She murmured and ran a hand through his messy hair. It had gotten longer since the last time he’d seen it and was resting right on his shoulders.

He yawned, causing Autumn to giggle again. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothin’,” she shrugged, “you’re just nice to watch when you wake up.”

“Funny to watch eh?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Yep. But as funny as you may be, you need to get up for breakfast.”

He raised both eyebrows and smirked down at her. “Wow, I got me a girl who cooks for me?”

She rolled her eyes and sat up, pushing the covers off of her body. “If you’re lucky, you’ll get two poptarts.”

“What? No hot morning make out session?”

“What are you, seventeen?” She chuckled and leaned over on her elbows to plant a small kiss on his lips.

He leaned up on his elbows and pressed for more. “We can pretend to be and I can pretend to be feeling you up behind the bleachers.”

She laughed and pushed him back down with her finger. “You wish school boy. Now put your shirt on, we don’t want Riley and Taylor throwing goo goo eyes at you.”

He snorted and stood up, stretching his arms above his head. “I’m sure they won’t.”

She rolled her eyes and headed towards the kitchen, hearing Riley and Taylor talking around the kitchen table.

“Morning,” she spoke up, sending them a smile and walked over to get her and Gerard some coffee.

“Where’s lover boy?” Riley piped up, taking a bite of her breakfast.

“He’ll be out in a sec.”

“So I take it you two are…” Taylor wiggled her eyebrows and grinned at Autumn.

Autumn laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “You’re gross.”

“Hey, we’re just trying to know before we come home to you two doing it on the kitchen table.”

“First off, I’m eating and you’ve made the poor guy blush like a school girl.” Riley nodded her head towards Gerard who was standing a few inches behind them with his cheeks crimson.

Autumn glanced over and shook her head at him. “Ignore em. They’re just lonely.”

Riley feigned sadness and put an arm over her face. “How will I ever find a decent man in New York?”

“Well, you’ve got the hots for her cousin and he’s available.” Taylor laughed and playfully slugged Riley’s shoulder.

Autumn ignored her comment with a small laugh and handed a mug filled with coffee to Gerard who had walked over and leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Black right?” She asked, making sure his coffee was just right.

He nodded and smiled, surprised she remembered how he liked his coffee. He sipped on his coffee and looked over at Autumn who was talking to her roommates about who knows what and couldn’t help but grin to himself. Here she was, dressed in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a big t-shirt and looked stunning. Her hair was up in a messy bun and instead of her being stressed out like the last time’s he’d seen her, she looked relaxed and glowed more.

It was amazing to him how she made his blood pump faster and the feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw her was something he didn’t ever want to miss. He couldn’t make up a valid reason as to why he would ever choose Stacy over her. He was just scared and didn’t want to end up getting fucked over again, like his previous relationships that never lasted. He didn’t want to scare her off but he was through with going slow.

He trusted her and her trust in his was something he knew needed time to completely rebuild itself but he was more than willing to wait and try. He’d crushed on her since the moment Frank brought her along and he’d be a fool if he let her pass up again.

“Huh?” He asked, wide eyed dumbfounded when he heard his name being called out.

“When’s your guy’s next show?” Taylor asked.

He cleared his throat. “It’s in a few days in Jersey, back at Mikes.”

“So I’m guessing the tour was pretty rad?” Taylor stood up and moved over to him. Autumn’s friends didn’t make him feel unwelcome or like a stupid guy who just came over to be made fun of. They were genuinely nice girls who stroke up conversation and didn’t make things awkward.

Autumn glanced up at Gerard and bit down on her lip softly to stop from smiling so wide. He was finally here with her, despite everything that happened before, she knew it had to happen to get here.
-
Gerard had only been home for two days and he hadn’t left Autumn’s side. She didn’t mind it at all. After breakfast they hung around the apartment with her room mates, talking about current events and laughing along with the good stories from his tour.

Now they were currently sitting in her room and Gerard’s eyes were skimming over every inch of her room. He was sitting against the head board with Autumn’s head in his lap, laying across the bed.

“Have you written anything?”

Autumn peeked up at him through her eyelashes, “Yeah, I’m trying to write a novel but it’s not coming along as well as I planned.”

His fingers went through her hair and he softly asked, “Can you read me something?”

She’d never shown him any of her writings although he had read one or two from a small collection she let Frank have. Her writings were really personal and only the people she trusted the most had seen them. She didn’t have to think twice before she sat up and headed to her desk where her small moleskin book was laid out.

Gerard smiled to himself, realizing that she was about to show him a part of her not many people got to see. He’d read a piece of hers that stuck to him but he didn’t want to tell her just yet.

She came over and sat back down next to him and flipped through the pages, trying to decide just what she wanted to read to him. She wrote about everything and found influence in almost anything. She all of a sudden felt very shy and small, like she were showing her father her first drawing from school or her college professor about to read her final.

She took a deep breath and traced her fingers over the words as she spoke up, her voice soft like velvet and filling his ears.

“All of a sudden it gets quiet. And then your muscles start talking and they repeat words you want to hear and words you wish would fade away. You find your muse within your gravity and you pull it, revealing who you miss the most. You push it away when your bones start crushing under the weight your heart’s burning with and you let yourself burn. But your body is fine. It is structured to handle the emotions that tear away at you. You are not fine, you are dying and you know it.”

Gerard’s mouth parts open and he feels like she’s just read a bible scripture to him. He looks down at her and wonders how she got her words to flow so freely and a wide smile breaks across his face.

“Wow,” he murmured and lets out a big breath. “That was really…wow.” He mumbles, still astonished.

Autumn’s cheeks flushed pink and she bit her lip nervously. “You liked it?”

He nodded and wrapped his arm around her, “You’re fucking talented sugar.”
“Thanks Gee. That means a lot you know.”
“I’m not kidding. You’ve got one of the best ways with words I’ve ever heard.”
She grinned and finally let her nerves and worries of his thoughts dissolve. She leaned up and softly pressed her lips against his, pulling the hair on the nape of his neck.

“Jesus!” A shout from her door caused them to pull apart quickly and look towards the door. Frank stood there with wide eyes and a disgusted expression.

“What are you doing here?” Autumn asked, confusion spread across her face along with Gerard’s.

Frank’s lips were still turned up into a scowl. “I finally got out of my mom’s hold and came to see you. But I can see you’re pretty busy,” he motioned over to Gerard and put his hands up in mock surrender.

“I gotta go see my mom and pops anyway,” Gerard stood up .

Autumn looked up and slightly pouted without realizing it. She didn’t want Gerard to leave and she didn’t mind having him over but she needed to spend time with her cousin and he needed to see his family.

Gerard glanced awkwardly from Frank to Autumn before sighing under his breath and kissing her forehead quickly to avoid any shit from Frank.

“See you later,” Gerard murmured to her with a small smile and patted Frank’s back with a goodbye before he left the room.

Frank’s face broke into a grin as soon as Gerard left and he chuckled to himself. “It’s fun seeing him shit himself when I walk in.”

Autumn rolled her eyes. “I’m 22 Frank, I’m allowed to have a boy over.”

“Meh,” Frank grumbled and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s still fun.”