Wasted

Autumns fingers were laced with Gerard's as they walked down the street to her old house. Her father had invited them over for lunch, he was dying to meet his only child's boyfriend.
She was extremely close to her father and hadn’t had a real boyfriend in almost two years. It was no surprise her dad wanted to meet him. She wasn’t worrying at all. She knew the kind of person Gerard was and the kind of person who dad was, she knew they would get along.

Autumn could sense the nerves rolling off of Gerard. She looked up and smiled at him. His hair had grown shaggier and his eyes were covered with his ray bans. She knew he had nothing to worry about but she giggled under her breath at his expense.

"You really have nothing to worry about Gee," she grinned up at him. "My dads going to love you."

"Oh yeah," he scoffed, "because every father loves meeting their daughter’s boyfriend."

"Seriously, he's not some over protective hillbilly with a shot gun."

"I just want to make a good impression. Let him know I'm treating you right, you know?"

"Just be yourself. I promise it'll be fine." She reassured him and gave his hand a squeeze.

Minutes later they were on her father’s doorstep, Gerard's heart thumping and his nerves all over the place.

The door opened up, revealing a middle aged man with black hair that was beginning to gray and warm hazel eyes. He was bigger than Gerard thought, standing a couple of inches taller than him with a decent build. Gerard could see a slight resemblance in him and Autumn but he figured most of her looks probably came from her mother.

"Hey pops." Autumn spoke up as soon as the door opened and let Gerard's hand go to hug her father.

"Hey squirt," he hugged her back tightly.

Autumn gestured over to Gerard who was standing awkwardly in the threshold. "Pop, this is Gerard. Gerard, this is my pops Gavin."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Iero." Gerard stuck out his hand to shake her fathers.

Her father shook it and smiled warmly, "Call me Gavin, I don't wanna sound like my old man." he let out a hearty chuckle.

"Come on in guys, the foods already set." He let them both inside and shut the door behind them.

Gerard's eyes wandered over the house. Pictures of Autumn were spread on the walls, going all the way back to her as a toddler. He smiled to himself and felt the coziness of the home.

Autumn led them to the kitchen where her father had set the table with pizza.
"Wow dad, ordered pizza? Very classy." She playfully jested.

"Actually," he pointed a finger to the box too big to fit in his trash can, "it's Dijornos."

Gerard laughed to himself and took a seat across from her father and next to Autumn.

"You got any soda pops?" Autumn opened up the fridge and skimmed around, “

“There should be some in the fridge, just take the pack out.”
Autumn moved around her old kitchen and even felt like she was back at home. She’d grown up in the house, sat in this kitchen thousands of times but she would never grow tired of it or love it any less.

"So you're in a band with Frankie?" Gavin started rolling the conversation.

Gerard's eyes lit up. Any mention of the band and he immediately perked up.

"Yeah, that's me. I actually met Autumn through Frank."

Autumn rolled her eyes playfully as she bit down on her pizza.

"If you start with the band talk we'll be here all day." She wrinkled her nose at Gerard teasingly.

"Hey, grampas a drummer, your uncle Franks a drummer. The Iero's are musicians!" Her dad exclaimed.

Gerard laughed under his breath at the small tiff between Autumn and her father and scrunched his nose back at her.

He wanted to know more about her family, the way they were intrigued him. The bond between her and her father was strong, he could even see it was stronger than his with his parents.

"Yeah and what do you play dad?" She raised her eyebrows, mocking him.

"I'm the brains of the family." He grinned and tapped his finger against his forehead.

"Well if it makes any difference, I'm only the singer." Gerard spoke up.

"No wonder Autumn likes you." Gavin winked over at Gerard, causing them both to laugh loudly.

-

Gerard's eyes widened as he laughed at the photo album in his lap, full of baby pictures of Autumn.

"Really dad?" She groaned and threw her head back against the couch.
Her father had turned out all of the albums he could find and pretty much threw them at Gerard, urging for him to look inside. Autumn wasn’t embarrassed but she didn’t exactly want Gerard seeing her baby pictures from when she was butt naked in the tub.

Gavin ruffled her hair as he pointed to a picture Gerard was looking at.

"She'd just turned four that Christmas and begged me to get her a cat but poor Autumn could barely pour herself a bowl of cereal, how was she gonna take care of a kitten? So instead I got her the cat woman figurine."

Gerard cocked an eyebrow at her, "I'd never take you for a cat woman fan."

"I like all kinds of cats, okay?" She put her hands up.

He smoked and turned back to the album. He found them all adorable, picture after picture he felt his smile grow. She was always beautiful, even as a toddler and he felt a swell of pride an luck that he got to call her his.

"Is that Frank?" He pointed to the little boy next to her in a picture.

His hair was long for a boy and cut like a bowl but his cheeks had the familiar freckles Autumn had.

"Yep, that's Frankie. Both of em turned out looking like my mother. Except Autumn has some of her mother’s side too."

Gerard saw a quick flash of something unfamiliar in Autumns eyes but she disguised it quickly with a small laugh.

"Frank and I only have the same eyes."

"You guys have the same nose." Gerard quipped back.

She shrugged and stood up from the couch, gathering her bag and turning to her father.

"Well pops, we should get going. Gerard's got band practice soon."

Gavin stood up and patted her back. "Alright then."

Autumn felt a little down about leaving back to New York but she knew her dad could take care of himself. He’d even started dating someone and looked really content with things. Still, she couldn’t shake off the nostalgic feeling as she walked out of her old house.

He walked both of them to the door and shook Gerard's hand and patted him on the back in a friendly manner. "It was nice meeting you Gerard. You take care of my daughter yeah? She can be a handful."

Autumn rolled her eyes beside Gerard but smiled nonetheless. She was happy her dad accepted Gerard and she knew he liked him if he busted out the baby pictures.

"Nice meeting you too Gavin. I'll try my best." He smiled and shook his hand back.

Autumn quickly hugged her father and said her goodbye. She took a hold of Gerard's hand while they walked back to her car.

"I'm not gonna say I told you so," she sang at him, mocking him for earlier.

He laughed and kissed her forehead, “Yeah, your dad’s pretty awesome.”

Gerard wanted to ask Autumn about her other side of the family. The side she never talked about and from what he knew hadn’t seen in years.

He noticed that look she had a few minutes ago but he didn’t want to pry and didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. But his curiosity got the best of him and he found himself blurting the question out once they were inside her car.

“So what’s the story of your mom?” He asked, just as she turned on her car.

Autumn’s body stiffened and her hand slowly fell back to her lap from the ignition. She blinked, wondering if she heard him right.

“My mom?” She asked back quietly, her body still stiff and her eyes were cast ahead at the road.

“Yeah sugar.” He spoke back softly, already knowing he hit a soft spot.

Autumn swallowed thickly. There was a lump in her throat every time she talked about her mother and whenever she was brought up. She drummed her fingers along her thigh to keep from saying too much.

“She left when I was a kid, got married and I haven’t seen her since.” She spoke up, her voice even and monotone, and changed her car gears. She didn’t want to talk about this, especially when she was driving and she was hoping Gerard was satisfied enough with her vague answer.

“She hasn’t tried to contact you at all?”

Gerard couldn’t stop his curiosity. He wanted to know why a mother would just abandon her child and not try to keep a relationship with Autumn. But he also felt slight anger. How could she just leave and not try to contact the amazing daughter she didn’t even know she had.

“Nope.” Autumn replied, her voice still holding the same monotone and she kept her eyes on the road.

“Not even on your sixteenth birthday, or your eighteenth? Or at least your fucking high school graduation?” Gerard’s voice rose.

Autumn stopped the car abruptly. “No Gerard, not on my sixteenth birthday, or my eighteenth or even my sixth or seventh or any fucking birthday after my fifth! She left okay? She didn’t want the life she had with my dad and she decided to get a new one. It’s not my fucking problem what her reasons were. She didn’t deserve my father anyway. He was twice the mother she would ever be.” She spat with her eyes narrowed.

Her hands were tightly clenching the steering wheel and she felt out of breath.

Gerard’s lips were parted as if he’d gasped and he felt a small pang hit his chest. He could tell she was hurt. She tried to hide it, tried to make it seem like she didn’t care about the mother she once had but he could see straight through it.

“Sugar, just breathe.” His eyes softened and he reached over to lightly touch her cheek.

She sighed and closed her eyes against his hand. The only person who really knew about her mother was Frank. She knew she had to tell Gerard about it if she wanted to get closer to him. It wasn’t a deep dark secret but it still affected her sometimes. She trusted him once hundred percent enough to get it off her chest.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. It’s not your fault.” Autumn frowned and let go of the steering wheel to grab his hand.

“Don’t worry about it sugar.” He kissed her knuckles.

“I could tell you about her. I mean, really tell you what happened. Only Frank really knows.”

His eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head. “No, sugar, you don’t have to do that. I’m being nosy and stupid.”

She shook her head back at him. “No. I want to tell you. You met my dad and I want you to know why you’ll never meet my mom.”

Gerard sighed but nodded nonetheless. He leaned over in his seat and softly pecked her lips. “Let’s get off this road yeah?”

She smiled against his lips and nodded, kissing him one last time before driving home.