I Want You To Want Me

Lirit’s p.o.v.;
I lay in my bed sobbing myself to sleep. I couldn’t believe what Jacob had just told me, I had never thought of it, but now looking bad, it had all been very obvious. God damn I felt so stupid. I kept crying, and I felt so sorry for myself, when I really should have been feeling sorry for Jacob, how mustn’t he had felt all along?

Suddenly my cell went off. I took a look at it; it was an unknown number. I answered it.

“It’s Lirit” I answered.

“Hey, I am so deeply sorry for what my brother did to you today!” The unknown boy exclaimed out of nowhere.

“Who is this?” I asked confused and a bit scared.

“It’s me; Mikey. Mikey Way”

I was surprised that Gerard Way’s little brother even dared calling me. He wanted to apologize for ‘the jerk of his brother’ he had explained. He had made it clear that he wanted to talk with me, right now; he would come and ‘pick me up’ at 3pm so that we could go for a walk together and talk, and then he had hung up again.

I still couldn’t believe that Gerard’s younger brother had just called me and I had no idea of whatever Mikey would like to talk with me about? With me? But oh well, it had been a crazy day; everything was completely fucked up. I had gotten into a fight with the love of my life, even a bloody one of the kind, we had got expelled for the day, Palsing had confessed his long time love for me and then Mikey fucking Way calls me. What the fuck was going on? It had to be a dream – This could not be true.

Clock was nearly 3 o’clock pm when I put on my black beanie, my black knitted tube scarf and my black leather jacket. I went down the stairs and into the kitchen to get some water while I was waiting, when the doorbell rang. I opened and there he stood; Mikey Way himself. I went out and closed the door after myself.

He smiled at me and said ‘Hey’, but I just ignored him; I couldn’t see why he had to talk to me, at all. He would probably get trouble himself being seen with me in public – If not from Frank, he would of Gerard.

“You’re truly looking amazing” he said smiling widely at me – Then his smile turned into horror. “But you truly look like a wounded soldier as well.”

What was he talking about? What a dork. What a cute dork though. I smiled at him and then thanked him.

We went into the park while talking about what had happened earlier. It was as if I had known him all of my life. I told him everything with every little emotion and feeling behind the acts;

“I felt complete heartbroken when he ripped the papers into pieces. I felt both sad and filled with anger and regrets of loving him all this time..” I broke off.

I had already told him too much. It wasn’t meant for him to those little juicy details. He would probably tell them to Frank or at least his brother Gerard, and I wonder how many different ways they could use those little words against me. I was screwed.

“You’re seriously?” He asked surprised.

“Well, ain’t it pretty obvious?” I asked as if it didn’t bother me.

An awkward silence grew between the two of us all through the green park. It continued all way till we were back at my house again.

“It was nice talking to you,” Mikey said smiling at me.

I did not know what to answer and could only nod. We said our goodbyes and then I went back into the house, just to find a note on the fridge saying;

Hey darling, we’ll not be home until next week. Grandma needs our help, and we were forced to leave right away, there money on the table and the fridge is filled with food. I miss you already, Mom

It seemed odd to me, but things like that happen. I walked up the stairs and into my room – Jumped onto the bed. My eyes flinched to the watch. I couldn’t believe my own eyes! The clock was already 6 o’clock pm! Mikey and I had been walking around in the park chatting for about 3 hours! It couldn’t be true!

It had actually been really nice talking to Mikey, he seemed so calm and open – in contrast to Frank and Gerard who were the heads of the group. I had felt secure and relaxed in Mikey’s company, and would gladly be doing it again.

I laid there on the bed, just thinking of what had happened earlier. Then I went to the bed, frustrating and first now I really realized what had happened, and what I had done. I had beat Frank without a question. I had let him beat my best friend, and I had let him beat me. It had all been that hectic that I hadn’t realized what I had done.

I could feel my heart ache – How could I attack the boy I loved so dearly? Or what more important was; How could I love this boy so deeply, that was hurting me?